Would my husband have to know about IVA?

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Colette

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Post by Colette » Mon Apr 21, 2008 10:24 am
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I am considering applying for an IVA - the debts are in my name although my husband is a second card holder on my cards. Would he have to know that I am doing an IVA?
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kallis3

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Post by kallis3 » Mon Apr 21, 2008 10:27 am
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Does your husband not know about your debt problems? I kept some of mine hidden for a while before he eventually found out. It made him ill and me regret not being upfront.

I would be upfront with him, you will be under strain if you don't and it could have an adverse effect on your marriage. How are you going to hide letters etc from him?

I suggest coming clean.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley.
http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
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sblack

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Post by sblack » Mon Apr 21, 2008 10:52 am
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I suppose you do not have to tell him but I would imagine it would be very difficult keeping it from him with all the letters and phonecalls you will get. Is there a reason you cannot be open about this?
"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don’t and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it’d be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."
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MelanieGiles

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Post by MelanieGiles » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:06 am
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It is always better to share your financial difficulties with your life partner, as they can be incredibly supportive through difficult times. I assume that he has also benefitted from the borrowings, and will probably want to help to pay something back.
Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner
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kallis3

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Post by kallis3 » Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:27 am
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The other thing of course is that you will have your card accounts terminated. If he is a joint card holder, how will you explain the fact that he can no longer use the cards?
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley.
http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
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Viki.W

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Post by Viki.W » Mon Apr 21, 2008 12:15 pm
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Hey Colette, welcome to the forum. You are in the right place for great advise. You will need lots of support when you start your IVA and I think that you should try and discuss your debt problems with your husband so he can be there for you. You really don't need the added stress of trying to keep it a secret, this is just my opinion as I know how hard it is to keep this all bottled up. Good luck. Viki X
If you would like to talk to me about your debt problems, please visit:
http://www.vincentbond.com/about_us_Viki_Warbrooke.asp
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facingittogether

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Post by facingittogether » Mon Apr 21, 2008 12:51 pm
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hi collette and welcome!
like others have said as they say a problem shared is a problem halved - if you could tell your husband hopefully he would be able to support you!
whatever you decide you will gets lots of support on this site - so keep posting and good luck - there will be a solution to your problems!

take care

barb
12 down - 60 to go! woo hoo!
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angela18

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Post by angela18 » Mon Apr 21, 2008 6:37 pm
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me and hubby kept our debts to ourselves and it nearly wrecked our marriage, it was the best thing we ever done when we told each other,. he had been doing it for me and me to stop him worrying about shopping etc.. it has brought us closer and we have promised nothing hidden. we now have a joint account, which previously i would never have, as ex partner used to spend it all and leave me and daughter with nothing.

would your IP not need to know hubbys income for expenditure etc.

be honest!! my marriage vows said for richer or poorer, and by God when we said poorer we meant it!!
Ang.. 13 payments in.. WOW, thats over 20% paid!! http://angela18.blogs.iva.co.uk/ well here we go

if you wish for a rainbow... then you have to put up with the rain xx
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rollercoaster

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Post by rollercoaster » Mon Apr 21, 2008 7:08 pm
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I kept problems from hubby until crunch time, i sat him down and discussed everything. Not only was he relieved coz he thought i was going to tell him that i was leaving him, but together we have got stronger. we budget together, plan together and look forward to the day we are debt free.
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kallis3

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Post by kallis3 » Mon Apr 21, 2008 7:17 pm
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Same here Rollercoaster, we are so much better together and I don't have to hide phone calls and letters. It is a real weight off your shoulders
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley.
http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
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angela18

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Post by angela18 » Mon Apr 21, 2008 7:18 pm
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and as they say.. two heads better than one!!

there were some days that I couldn't stand looking at hubby, we had no conversations and he was working 24/7. he's now stopped the overtime and we are back on track, doing things as a couple/family, we had to save our marriage it was too important!! things couldn't be better now all in open.. just need it to be accepted now!!
Last edited by angela18 on Mon Apr 21, 2008 7:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Ang.. 13 payments in.. WOW, thats over 20% paid!! http://angela18.blogs.iva.co.uk/ well here we go

if you wish for a rainbow... then you have to put up with the rain xx
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kallis3

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Post by kallis3 » Mon Apr 21, 2008 7:20 pm
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Too right!
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley.
http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
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Skippy

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Post by Skippy » Mon Apr 21, 2008 9:24 pm
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I couldn't have got through my IVA and BR without the support of my partner. Even though I didn't want to tell him, and kept the extent of my problems from him for years, it was such a relief when he finally knew.
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