Would like to tell them!

[angela18]

only me and hubby know in our family and close friends. I have told a couple of work friends. one who surprisingly advised hers has just finished!! my mam has bad nerves so would never tell her, she would sell my dad to help, I know that but would probably put her into a hospital!!

and of course my pals on here all know!!![:I]

[aguise]

We decided not to tell anyone. I dont think anyone has noticed the change anyway we struggled more before the iva. I am not worried to tell anyone but whilst we see no need then we will not worry them with it. There is just one friend that knows and they actually suggested the company that we are with. I do think though that if you are on your own it is important to have the support of at least one perso, just someone you can talk to, get their opinions from.

Ang

[Sarah]

Hi All

I was the same as many of you i did not want to tell anyone at all. Bus as time went on i realised there was nothing to be ashamed of and i first told my brother and then my Mum.... i then slowly moved on to some of my close friends. And it was great they were so supportive and i really feel like i can talk to them... they now understand that when they ask me to do something and i say i havent got enough money they know i really mean it. I find they also ask me a lot of advice!

[debbie.s]

I have only told one best friend. My parents think we have taken out one large loan to pay off all our debts together over 5 years. As for not having any money we blame that on my husband giving up taxi driving due to ill health. Although in truth he didnt earn that much anyhow.
Debbie

[emma_t]

I think its such a personal decison beans that you do what you think is right at the time, bt at does not mean to say that your feelings may not change and you feel able to tell people along the rout of your iva.
I have not told a single person about my iva (apart from the millions on the forum!!). I was ashamed at first but I am not now, its more that I don't want to worry my parents as they are getting a bit older now and one or both would have bailed me out which I did not want as it was my mess. I had just lost my part time job so had a perfect reason for being more frugal.

As I say this may change over time and I may tell friends, but under no circumstances do i want to worry my family,

do what you feel is right for you x

PS when reading through this thread I thought on one of your posts you said 'we BBQ animals'. Nearly had a fit, but then re read and you said 'we are BBQ animals' - i can be so stupid sometimes[:D]LOL

[fedup and broke]

Hi all. I am new to this forum so hello. I do think it helps to share. I am in talks about an IVA however my partner is totally aware of the situation, as is my sister and my mother. I felt I had to tell them as I was constantly crying about money and now feel like there maybe a light at the end of the tunnel. I am of the belief you are on the road to recover by admitting the debt problem in the first place and you should only every regret the things you don't do in life rather than the things we do x

[rollercoasterride]

We haven't told anyone about our IVA and won't ever either. It has got nothing to do with anyone else as far as we are concerned. We don't tell people our salaries or if we ever got any money (which we obviously didn't or we wouldn't have been in this position!)so why should we tell them about our debt problems. It's obviously up to the individual what they do, but personally this is our point of view. I know some people feel better getting it off their chests, but this is one reason why I joined to forum - to be able to talk annonymously about our problems with people who are in the same boat as us, who have gone through it and come out smiling on the other side. No-one on here judges you and treats everyone with the respect they deserve.

[fedup and broke]

Hi, as I said I felt I had to share it as I am currently always unhappy about my situation. I never discuss money with people outside of my family and thats how it will stay.

[TheMatrix]

I cannot share this with anyone, one of the reasons for IVA rather than BR. If I were to tell my mom and dad it would break their heart.

Still nearly there, 2 years down 3 to go and it will all be over before I know it hopefully.

[cat 1]

Hi.I told a couple of people eventually.Only close friends and my mum/dad.No one else needs to know.However, I find that because it's on my mind quite alot I feel that people 'know'.I obviously know this is very silly and I'm not transparent, but I sort of feel it sometimes.As someone already said though, it could just be treated as a large loan really.I know in the past I've done these to consoladate ~(never worked)Other people must be in the same position.I'm sure no one is debt free totally.We just don't discuss our money stuff at all do we? Not really discuss it ie exactly what our collegues owe and how much our mortgages are?
Someone asked where we were going on holiday.I wanted to answer because I was 'transparent', ''we can't have annual holiday this year as we're in an IVA and we haven't saved enough money yet to accomodate one''.What I said was ''we're not having one as far as I know as we're intending to do long weekends and jobs around the house''.I closely watched them for evidence to see if they thought I was lying.Nil evidence seen [:)] Cat

[connie]

hi
i can agree with what you said BOT. were still in the early stages of trying to get an IVA but we haven't told any family what we've done. I have told my best friend that i'm thinking about it but she doens't know i've gone as far as set the ball rolling. i will tell her though.
we couldn't tell my husbands family as they already feel its their business no matter what we do and i couldn't handle the ear ache that i just know we'd get. i know we've been stupid, i don't need them telling me.
the only person i probably will tell when its sorted (fingers crossed) will be my mam. shes about the only other person i know i could talk to. and its only through the money struggles i know shes had since my dad died that i know she'll understand why we've done it. as for my other family theres no way i could tell them as there quite well off and i know they'd look down there nose at me. my sisters done quite well for herself while i always seem to struggle along so i'd rather not give her the satisfaction of her knowing. sounds stupid i know

[Beans on Toast]

Just had a giggle at emma t's post about, "we BBQ animals" [:)] I thought that was the idea of BBq's [;)]

[Skippy]

I've been quite open about it with everyone - it makes it easier when I can't afford to do something.

[Moneystinks]

You are sharp and don't miss a trick - first smile I've raised tonight!!!

[Moneystinks]

My response was to beans lol.

Sorry skippy I agree with you also if I say sorry I'm skint one more time....but it is easier than trying to keep up with everyone.