Hi, I really know the feeling, since I took out an IVA three years ago I have never been so relaxed and able to manage my finances. I built up my debts due to the serious illness of a young family member, and I had to have a great deal of time off work. Anyway, I used to wake up each morning and dread the post, sometimes I would not even open letters and just shoved them in a drawer out of sight. When I returned to work I would often drive there not knowing if I had sufficient petrol to get me there and back, and have no money in my purse or on my card. The process was difficult for me as I too felt very ashamed, however, I should not have worried. I sought advice, and was told to bring documents to show everything I owed out (that means everything, don't forget a thing as it won't be taken into account and they can still chase you for it). I had a meeting with the advisor, he told me you had to owe at least £15000 to qualify for an IVA, and explained that if I owed money to my bank I would have to cancel my bank account, and open a basic one (which I did, a solo account with Natwest). It will not have any effect on your profession, unlike bankrupcy, where you certainly could not practice law. They were very efficient and sorted everything out within a few weeks. The downside is, it is on a register which is available to the public (there is a petition to have this changed, the IVA is usually over five years, and if you miss a payment your only option is bankrupcy. You are then unable to take out any loans or store cards, your credit rating remains very poor for one year after your IVA is settled, then you can start to build your rating back up again. Once you apply for your IVA the company write to all of your creditors, they are then not allowed to contact you at all, or chase you for any money, or take you to court. Your other alternative is to go to citizens advice or welfare rights, who are helpful in giving you advice as to how to write to all of your creditors will smaller offers of payment, and tell you which of your creditors must take priority for payment. This is a long and time consuming process, but worth it if you can do it. As you are only 25 and 23, babies really, you could be back on track and debt free in only five years. Please don't think you are alone, or stupid, anyone, including older and wiser people, can have debt, it's not a sin, I wish you both the very best of luck, and as a bonus, thank god you have each other for support.
