Down to Earth with a bump!

[Julie]

Hi - well I've gone from being so happy after my birthday treat to feeling as low as can be. No particular reason, just starting to feel guilty about enjoying myself in an IVA. I don't know if anyone else has these feelings or is it just me?

Part of me knows "hey I deserve a break" but now I'm thinking , "that money from family and friends could have gone into the IVA". Its just like a dark cloud over us all the time.

I've updated my blog to get it off my chest, so to speak, but the feeling is still there. I'm going away for a week soon and I'm having second thoughts, even though my in laws are paying. I just dont know if by having these treats are we really learning anything?

Sorry to ramble - must be my age [:(]

[kallis3]

Julie, you are allowed these little treats - especially if someone else is footing the bill!!!!!!! You cannot be expected to go 5 years without some form of holiday or entertainment.

You've just had a fantastic weekend, and have the next one to look forward to. Don't feel guilty - just go and enjoy yourself, safe in the knowledge that there will be no nasty bills landing on the doorstep afterwards.

Money from family and friends is usually a gift - treat it as such, I doubt they would want you to be using it to pay into your IVA.

[Viki.W]

Julie, you most certainly DO deserve a break AND treats. You've obviously got a fabulous family and lovely friends that want to make you happy. I'm sure you make them happy. Don't feel guilty, I think your bad feelings far outweigh your good feelings at the moment, you need to get that balance back otherwise the universe will implode! X

[Agent Starling]

Yes, I agree. I wouldn't feel any guilt - it's not like you've just gone out and bought a Ferrari or something (obviously if you have just done this, then I take it all back!)

Seriously, I'd say if you're in an IVA and keeping to the payments, then there's nothing to feel guilty about because you are doing The Right Thing.

[kal]

5 yrs is a hell of a long way for anyone to expect you to not have any treats/holidays/presents, so no I agree you should not feel guilty.
You are doing the right thing buy paying the money back in the best way you can - you deserve to have a good time if it is offered to you - who is going to deny you that.
k.

[Skippy]

You do deserve a break Julie, so please don't feel guilty. Your family and friends wanted you to have a treat, so why should that money goin into the IVA? They wanted you to have it, so they probably wouldn't have given it to you if it was going to be paid to creditors.

Don't worry about it, think back about how much you enjoyed it xxx

[Julie]

Thanks for the words of support. I know you're all right and I'd probably give the same advice if shoe was on other foot. Its a hard cloud to escape from eh? Maybe it is just a culmination of everything that's happened lately - I'd forgotten how to be happy and when I remembered... I felt guilty.

Has anyone else felt guilty during their experience?

[moretolife]

hi SG..just caught your post and your blog....i know exactly what you mean by the guilt
i am going to blog away tonight about guilt.!!!!so catch it later..

its an interesting concept....
but please dont let it overwhelm you...yes..it can be hormones...but i think there is more to it than that

today..just remember that "you are worth it "

[Julie]

Thanks TOL - I've been reading your blog so know you understand.

[angela18]

hi Julie.. I'm off to magaluf for my 40th with the girls.. this was all sorted out pre IVA.. I've managed to save £150 by cutting back on things for me and hubby.. but I feel guilty as that money could be used elsewhere.. but it will be a long time before I get the chance to go away again, so hubby has told me to enjoy it.. still got clothes off last year so fine in that dept.. think its a natural feeling to worry!! Its our age hee hee!![:D]

[Flush]

Chin up SG and try not to beat yourself up about it. The holiday blues are bad enough without having to come back to Debt repayment. We all have bad days and good days. Mine alternate every day at the moment lol.

[Wizzard]

Take what joy life throws at you Swan, without browbeating yourself. I only wish I knew someone who would give me a little break [:D] .... Its been 40 years since I had anything resembling a holiday, so grab what you can with both hands and wring every drop of pleasure out of it you can, knowing full well your debts are being repaid.

When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a rose with the other

[Julie]

I feel better today thanks - I know I'm very lucky to have the chance of holidays whilst in an IVA. I'm going to get my holiday head on and look forward to my break on Sept 8th.

Ang -enjoy Magaluf [8D]

[moretolife]

anyone who has the chance to have a holiday of any kind needs to forget their troubles and ENJOY...BIG TIME....we get so little joy in our day to day life.so lets celebrate everything that will bring a smile to our lips...and then you can come back home with memories that will bounce you long the road a wee bit more

FLUSH....just to say a wee thank you for the comment you sent to me re my blog..appreciated it...lost your email so couldnt reply direct....

[Flush]

FLUSH....just to say a wee thank you for the comment you sent to me re my blog..appreciated it...lost your email so couldnt reply direct....

Your welcome. Your post about hopelessness was just spot on and fitted me perfectly so it really struck home. A superb blog and one all new forum member should read.