dont want my partner to find out what can I do??

[joanne.p]

Hi I have debts of around 20 thousand I have been told that an IVA is the best bet but I have a joint mortgage and dont want my partner to find out what can I do??

[Viki.W]

Hey Joanne, welcome to the forum. I would recommend confiding in your partner, you must be stressed out and you will need the support. You may want to consider a debt management plan as if you do go for an IVA, because you have a joint mortgage, your partner will probably find out. I advise you talk to an Insolvency Practitioner to go over all your options. How much can you afford to pay per month? X

[angela18]

hi joanne... if you have a mortgage and you take out an IVA there will more than likely be an equity release clause in the 4th year so you would really need to tell him... why can't you tell him has he not benefitted from your debt in any way.

you really need as much support as possible when going through this as viki says being in debt is stressful.. Good Luck

[kallis3]

I totally agree with angela and Viki. I think you should tell your partner so that he is there for support. I kept some of my debt hidden from hubby it made him ill when he found out.

Presumably you have not yet defaulted on any of your payments, because when you do, the creditors will be phoning constantly and writing. How will you be able to keep it from him then?

[plasticdaft]

Us husband arent all big bad bears you know. Seriously,it would be better out in the open because the stress and strain of starting up an IVA is something that best shared with a loved one. I am sure he will be understanding.

[tori]

hi joanne,for quite a few yrs my other half had no idea how much debt i was in & im ashamed to say i used to actually lie about the amount i owed,basically because i was embarrassed & thought that i would be able to sort it out on my own.however once i realised i needed help with my debts & started goin down the iva route i told him everything & he was fantastically supportive & i wish id have told him a lot sooner.i just felt better that everything was out in the open.hope everythin works out for you.[:)]x

[MelanieGiles]

The point about the final year equity release is a good one - can this cannot be avoided in IVAs these days. In addiiton, your partner will be required to sign a H M Land Registry restriction from the outset, so it will be nigh impossible for you to have an IVA without his knowledge.

I also agree that sharing your difficulties with him is a sensible way forward, but it you are adament that you need to manage your finances without his knowledge then a DMP would be a better option.

[Andrew Graveson]

A number of our debt management clients are in a position where their partners are unaware or only partly aware of the difficulty.

Debt management can be a way to manage a situation such as this without the same level of risk of disclosure to your partner.

Many other clients of ours have found the strength to tell their partners about the problem once they have found a way to manage the issue.

[facingittogether]

hi joanne

wlecome to the forum

as others have said, you may be surprised how supportive your husband is if you tell him about your debts!

i am thinking of you and hope you find the right way forward for you!

love barb x

[kallis3]

Andrew, regarding your comments on DMP, I would just like to point out that calls and letters from creditors will still be received.

My husband and myself were DMP for 18 months before our IVA was approved and we received regular calls and letters from our creditors.

[joh71262]

Also, surely being honest is a sign of love and respect that you have for your partner ? I know it's embarrassing, but a trouble shared and all that.

I'm surprised that they advised an IVA on £20k though. I have always been under the impression that you had to owe over £25k to apply.

Shows what I know !! [:I]

[Andrew Graveson]

Hi kallis3,

I understand that there are circumstances in which letters will continue. In particular many creditors continue to send statements. Also letters will follow when creditors pass the debts on to debt collection companies or sell the debts to other parties. I also understand that there can be a lot of letters in the early stages of a debt management plan before agreements are in place and these can continue if agreements are never made. Phone calls tend to follow for the same reasons.

Proactive debt management companies can handle the letters on behalf of those they are working with and reduce the numbers of phone calls but I do take the point that with letters and calls there is a risk of the other party becoming aware of the situation.