Being a Parent & Bullying

[MrsKnight]

Right Ive put up with my boys having to be bullied by 2 sisters down the road for some time.
We live in a respectable area though I know it happens everywhere! I do not claim to be the perfect parent though I am quite strict when it comes to manors & swearing. My youngest has been teased & sworn at & often come home in tears & afraid. My eldest whom is in the same class as one of them, has fewer problems with them, but has also come home in tears & afraid in the past too.
Just now the eldest has come home in tears because they would not give his favorite ball back & he would not even come down with me to get it.
So Ive just about held on to my sanity asked the girls to find & give his ball back & informed them Ive had enough & I will be having a word with their parents.
Dad was in the garden so I explained politely whats been going on this evening & in the past & also pointed out I only have one side of the story, children will be children. Keep in mind the Mum is a Primary School Teacher & has commented in the past on her daughters behavior. Are they bothered were they interested? NO!
Dad sent his daughter to find the ball, cant find it, so I have to go & get my son & practically drag him to go find it because he is afraid & finds it in seconds! Dad has a polite conversation with me regarding a meeting at school & I am polite back, upon leaving I ensure him I was not having a go, so to speak!
Now I feel like a OTT Mum, but we have been here 2 years & Ive just about had enough! Like Ive said Im not perfect & my 2 are monkeys - but they know I will not tolerate swearing especially the F word, which is putting it lightly to what the have been called. Bless em, I even have to say tell me exactly what was said & I wont be cross! Then they are to never say it again.

Now I dont know how to feel or if Ive done right from wrong! Having a good/bad parent moment [:(]

[Shining]

In my opinion you did right Lyns, long time since mine were young but I probably am too over protective over my 17 year old.

The other week in town some local (well-known) lout was wolf whistling her and making lewd comments so me being me, stormed over and gave him what for...he threatened me with violence so my son (body builder) went up there and talked to him, he's not said another word or looked in our direction since, I won't ever condone violence but sometimes a gentle word sorts things out. We as parents will do anything to protect our own. x

[MRBLUESKY]

The best way to deal with bullying is communicate with the parents,you did the right thing,keep at them.

[Judo]

You absolutely did the right thing and i would have done exactly the same. We all know that kids will be kids but as parents we also know when our children are genuinely upset about something. The sooner it's nipped in the bud the better.

[Lisa2009]

You did do the right thing. You have to protect your children. I hate bullies, they disgust me!
One day your children will reach their limit and turn the tables. What goes around comes around every time!

[MrsKnight]

I can not stand bullies but I also know you have to let your children fight there own battles, but after recent events and this evening I had just had enough! I'm not a confrontational person, & being so bullied in my past right into adult hood, I still struggle, but I will not tolerate my children being bullied, and I will always stand up & protect them when I feel I need too

Thank u for your support I really felt abit uneasy about it all!

[Hayley.gb]

My 13 yr old daughter has been out of school now for 4 weeks due to bullying, no one is bothered about finding out who is doing it and why but it too has been going on for almost 2 years. The school have only just contacted me to go for a meeting to explain why she hasn't been to school even tho I have contacted the welfare officer and the education. I get so frustrated about it but at least I know she isn't going through anymore torture while she is with me.

[Julie]

You are doing the right thing Lyns and if it continues, write a letter to the school....teacher or not, parents have to face up to children's behaviour, good and bad.

Oh Hayley [:(] I cannot imagine how you and your daughter must feel. It's terrible no-one is doing anything, yet I bet the school has "zero tolerance to bullying"! Why don't you contact your local MP - at least by highlighting the case, you won't be in danger of being cautioned etc for not ensuring your daughter goes to school.

Please keep us updated xx

[Shining]

Hayley I feel for you as a parent and your daughter too, what a horrible experience she is having. I cannot imagine, I have just become the safeguarding champion of our college and soon to go on training in respect of bullying etc., and it is certainly one thing I won't tolerate either in adults or children.

[Wizzzard]

Hi Lyns .. Just picked up on this post and can feel for your kids. I was bullied everyday at school for 11 years. Typical day for me was go to school ... get stopped by local kids in hight class and get a good kicking ... lunch time in playground get another good kicking ... home time another good kicking ... get home and get a hiding off my mother because my clothes were covered in blood. It wasn't until I left school at 15 that this stopped but even today I find it difficult to walk the streets in my home town with out looking over my shoulder. My mothers response to this bullying ... fight back you little scroat !

[Shining]

Oh Wizz, how awful, it's not always easy to fight back as your Mother wanted you to x

[martine123]

Oh dear its so horrible to read about bullying. When my son was 11 and went to secondary school and was mates with a boy, who used to come round our house, then in early December of his first year he phoned me at work and said he'd been beaten up by 20 kids at his school. My heart broke when I got home and saw the marks, he said that this friend of his had got the other kids to hit him, my son fell over and he was kicked repeatidly. I went to the school and the teacher sid they'd look into it but in the meantime my son could have break time and lunch time in the library!!! Seriously. When I left the school that day I watched my 11 year old walk down the corrider and I cried, he looked so small and helpless. On the Wednesday of the nect week I had a letter offereing him a place at a school he had put on his secondary school choices form. He never went back to his first school. His new school is fantastic and he's now nearly 15, but he has never had any of his new friends come round the house - and that is really sad. I was about to take hom put of the old school as he became withdrawn and just not himself. The school never did investigate the incident 6 months of requesting a meeting to discuss the investigation and getting nowhere I gave up. I dont think anyone should tolerate being bullied and as a parent I feel that I have a right to ensure that my children are in a safe environment. Kids argue/fight but they need support and need to know right from wrong. Even now nearly 3 years on it still makes my blood boil. You hear so many horror stories of kids taking their own lives because of bullying that its about time parents and teachers united to stamp it it. rant over - sorry )

[Shining]

Don't be sorry martine123 you speak as a loving caring parent as does lyns. I'm so glad your son changed school and hopefully he's much happier within this.

Bullying is ugly and does need stamping out, I couldn't agree more x

[Hayley.gb]

There are just so many horror stories, i'm certain it wasn;t this bad when I was at school, my daughter self harmed because of bullying and I feel so helpless that I didn't protect her and the school just seem to have disregarded her. She will have to stay at home until they place her in a new school because she is not going to be made to feel that way again.

[martine123]

Oh Hayley, I hope that when your daughter does get into a different school everything works out for her. Guilt is such a horrible feeling and I still feel guilty that I didn't protect my son sooner but what it has taught me is that I need to pay more attention to his behaviour and take notice of what he doesn't say, looking back there were signs from the October that not everything was fine at school he was quiet, withdrawn and lashed out at me for no reason and it was these signs I should have known something was wrong, but just put it down to him being young. Hindsight is wonderful.
I have a friend who contacted schools herself after her son was excluded (for trying to sell a firework - Alan Sugar would be proud!!)and she got him into a school that he has settled into (no more money making schemes) and his reports are very good. There is always light at the end of the tunnel its just that sometimes is dark for a long time. Best of luck.