A Friendly Face!

[jes2710]

Hello everyone. My first post. I just found this website this morning and nearly cried when I saw it. A lot of friendly people who have been through or are going through the same thing. I have been so ashamed of myself for getting into debt (parents never had any debt and two successful brothers!) that I haven't told anyone about my IVA. I started my IVA in February 05 and have kept this massive secret since then. Finding this website has been like a weight lifted off my shoulders!

I have found the IVA really stressful and probably moreso as I have kept it secret (my own fault I know!). I have 10 months to go and am impatient for the months to go by... how wrong is that? Wishing your life away!

At the end of February 2010, I think I will be the happiest person alive!

[kallis3]

Hi and welcome.

Great to hear that you are on the downhill stretch now - not long to go! How have you found things during your IVA?

I'm the same as you in that other than my daughter and step kids, no one knows about the IVA, and I intend to keep it that way! It would kill my parents.

You're not wrong wishing your life away - I shall be glad when 2013 comes and I will be debt free (unless the lottery comes along in the meantime!)

[jes2710]

Hiya Jan

The time seems to have flown since February 05 but these last few months will drag, I think. I have managed all the payments so far, even though some months have been a struggle, i.e. when my ancient car has decided to pack up, and even been lucky enough to pay a bit more due to bonuses from work etc that I wasn't expecting. I've definitely learnt my lesson about spending. All I keep thinking is that if I had done something about my debts sooner, I'd have finished by now. I think I have made it more stressful with my not telling anyone, but as you say, it would really hurt my mum and dad. Feel like I'd be a huge disappointment to them if I told them and also feel like I deserve to keep it to myself because the debt was my own fault!

I can't even tell you how nice it is to speak (sort of) to someone who is in the same boat. Thank you for listening.

Julie x

[kallis3]

We're always glad to have members who have almost completed their journey, it gives us something to aim for!

It is more stressful when you can't tell anyone. I'm lucky that my husband in also in an IVA, so we can talk to each other, plus the forum, and the close friends I have made on here.

My mum and dad are also of the 'never been in debt' school, not even for a mortgage. I just know they would never live it down if they knew.

This forum is great for being able to let off steam, get support when you need it, ask any questions (we do have a number of IP's and debt advisors who post on here) and have a bit of a laugh at the same time.

Keep posting to let us know how things are going.

[plasticdaft]

Julie i think we all totally understand when you say that if you had done something sooner you'd be sorted by now. I juggled around for 7 odd years before I dropped the balls and realised that a couple of thousand of debt had become 78k worth!!! Great that you are on the home stretch,and you are right it probably will drag.
As for telling people it really is a choice thing but I think a lot of people have been really surprised by relatives when they have come clean about debt troubles. Its a long time to keep such a big secret. I am glad my wife and I were open and honest about our troubles,I dont want to tell anyone and if we didnt have each other it would be very hard indeed.

Paul

[chardonnay]

Hi Julie,
Congratulations on getting this far. You are on the down hill slide now and just think how great it will fell to be debt free when the IVA ends.
Keeping a secret that long must be hard, but well done to you for not cracking. The members of this forum are fantastic people who give the best support and advice ever. They have helped me more than I could ever say.
I hope the next few months pass quickly for you.
C [:)]

[moretolife]

well done Julie....congrats to you for getting so far....and keeping it quiet...I am in awe....

I do like posts from folk who are nearly there...really encouraging

[Lisa2009]

Well done you for getting this far. Not long now hey?
Stay positive and you will be at the end before you know it xxxx

[debtmountain]

Hi Julie [:)]...now that you've found the forum, I hope you will stay and keep posting as you will get so much help and support from everyone on here,we're a really friendly bunch [:D]...anyway,well done to you on getting so far with your IVA and I hope the next 10 months go really fast for you...I know where you're coming from with not telling anyone and it must have been hard for you at times keeping it a secret!!..me and hubby haven't told anyone that we're in an IVA and we intend to keep it that way if we can although we know it will be hard at times..good luck and remember we're all here for you now anytime you need some advice or just general chit chat about anything else...take care...xx[:)]

[Wizzzard]

Welcome to the site Julie ... you must be on the last stretch of your IVA and have loads of advice to impart to the rest of us. I'll look forward to your posts.

[Julie]

....and welcome from me too [:)] It really is a great site, gives you a chance to "talk" about anything and everything. Hopefully, it will make the next 10 months easier for you.

You're experience of an IVA will be great and everyone will welcome any advice you can give, so please stick around.

xx

[jes2710]

Good morning everyone - thank you so much for your replies. I really appreciate them. I was made redundant twice last year (both from building companies) and last October I felt like I really needed to break down and just sob to someone and come clean! If only I had known about this website sooner! You'd have had to listen to me moaning for an extra 5 months!!! [;)]

But seriously, I do really appreciate the time it takes to come back and reply. I will keep posting/moaning about my progress.

Julie x

[kallis3]

Morning Julie.

You can come on and moan anytime! It is always a relief to be able to talk to someone who knows just how you feel and won't judge you.

It's good to hear from someone nearing the end of the journey to find out how they have managed.

Gives the rest of us hope!

[tori]

Welcome from me also Julie..and congratulations on nearly reaching the end of your IVA! It really is lovely to hear of people who have managed to get as far as you have.

I really do hope that the next 10 months go smoothly for you, and i'm sure that the day when you are making that very last payment will be here before you know it..

Good luck with everything and keep us posted[:)]..take care xx..

[cazlizzy]

Hi Julie and welcome.[:)]
I couldn't agree more with you about this site....I'm new here too though I have not started the IVA journey yet, so well done you nearly there.[:D]

You will find it is so, so homely you will get addicted and visit daily, I know I have.

Welcome again and look forward to your posts.
carole
x