would my parents need to find out

[mimi]

as i live at home with parents, i have 28k debt and my best option at the moment is an iva, is completely confidential and would my parents need to find out

[MelanieGiles]

Your parents do not need to be informed of your IVA, but you should consider whether it is better to tell them as you may need their support in the future. They will also have to provide a letter confirming the level of rental you are paying them, and whereas this can be done on a "To Whom it May Concern" basis, they are bound to ask you why this is necessary.

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

For further details contact me at http://www.melaniegiles.com and view my IVA blog at: http://melaniegiles.blogs.iva.co.uk

[Sarah]

Hi

I wsa in exactly the same situation I have been in an IVA since last June and it was only today that I have told my parents. Initially to get the letter for the rent I told my parents that I was applying for a mortage and they wanted to confirm my outgoings....... But one thing I would say is that your parents may surprise you mine have taken it very well and I really wish I had told them right from the start!

[mimi]

My parents have tried to help me before, but i am in such a mess with my finances, that if i don't sort myself out they have threatened to throw me out, so telling them at this stage is a definite no no.Do i need to tell them where the letter is going, will they be contacted by the iva people?

[Sarah]

No they will not be contacted at all... Do you pay any rent/housekeeping to them?

[mimi]

yes i pay £300 per month, which i have been borrowing off my brother for the last two months, i feel really down and disappointed with myself for getting in this mess, and am very nervous about applying for an iva

[mimi]

did you find the iva applying process difficult and did you get hassled a lot

[booboo]

Hi Mimi,
I live with my parents and right now i'm in the process of applying for a trust deed (i live in scotland). My dad until recently worked away from home but my mum knows everything. She has been my rock since january when i started this process and i couldn't have gotten this far without her support and understanding. As Sarah says they might just surprise you.
Good luck
Wendy

[freelili]

Mimi

You have got yourself into a mess, yes, but all of us have here. Any one who cant make a mistake, cannot make anything. One thing you need to bear in mind is creditor phone calls and letters will stop when the IVA is in place but this tends to get worse before it gets better. You cannot change the past but you can the future. Dont beat yourself up anymore, what is done is done. I was really scared to tell my mom and I am 38 with 4 kids, she was disappointed at first but I told her that I was doing something about it. I found her disappointment much easier to deal with than sneaking around and avoiding her. She was proud of the fact that I was doing something about my problems and was a rock for me. I understand if you cannot tell them and wanted to say you are not alone, we are all here for you. My mom died at christmas and I am soooo glad I was totally honest with her. I know that my own children will make mistakes and I would be proud if they were as brave as you.
Good luck.

LILY

I asked God for a solution and have to live with his reply.

[Sarah]

Morning

I hope you are ok today. So just to clarify you will just need a letter from your parents stating the amont of Rent that you pay. If you really do not feel comfortable telling your parents at the moment then they will not be informed you will just need a way of getting this letter and if they do not know much about mortages then my excuse may work and just say that the mortage was rejected when they ask. Please think carefully about telling them though. Let us know how you get on!

[camiva]

Hi Mimi,
Once you get the processed stated and gather all the information that your IP needs you will start to feel much better.

I have decided aganist telling my parents as they are elderly and don't understand the credit card culture that we live in today. Sometimes I wish i could tell them as it would be the most honest thing to do. I think it would hurt them too much. I have told a few close friends and it has hepled. So if you can tell someone you trust do, just to share whats going on with you helps so much. Also as other people have said you are now doing something about it. I am too, I only wish I had started sooner. My 4th payment was yesterday. Its hard but it is much better than the old day. Also be very honest when you are working out you living expences. This determines how much you can aford to pay towards you IVA each month.

Let us know how things go for you. Good luck.

[mimi]

Just out of curiosity, on average how many phone calls/ letter do you get

[jane.l]

I would be interested too to know how bad it gets!!!!!! We have missed one months payments on everything and have got the IVA proposal all ready to sign but I am just waiting now to see if we can sell our house. So far we have had a few calls off a couple of creditors but the main one is Northern Rock, they are a right pain, very sarcastic and they start ringing every evening at 5.21 exactly (good, because I know it is them and do not answer the phone) If I speak to them, they generally ring twice a day, morning and evening, earliest they start is 8am till about 9pm. if I don't answer the phone, they ring every half an hour until I just unplug it from the wall! They may ring whilst I am work but there is never a message And this is only after missing one payment so next week, when we have missed 2 payments, I expect it will get worse.!! So I supose how many calls you get depends on who your creditors are

[lesley]

I have found that if you keep them informed about what's going on they are better. I have even had them apologising for ringing. I was ignoring the phone at first but they are much better now. I have also missed 2 going on 3 payments.

[freelili]

It really depends on the creditots you have. Some are on a commision and try to stress a payment out of you, but they can be reasonable when you talk to them. The biggest problem for me were phone calls at work as I could be anywhere in the NHS and it was noticed and I had to come clean in the end. Its not personal though its just, as you say, a pain. I had one day when the same creditor called every 20 mins and I mentioned the harrassment laws, it did go quiet for a while. I think Mbna are the worst, HSBC, also.There was a time when I had forrests of letter rammed through my letter box on a daily basis but that did get much better. I had to change my mobile phone number as I use that for my children. I hope it goes through soon for you. The thing is they cannot do anything for a real long time and have no real power, so they shout. In contrast, if you owed money to the gas or electric, they wouldnt shout and pester, they would just cut you off. Creditors can take court action but it takes almost a year for them to do this.

I know this sounds a bit of a bummer but its my experience and I hope it helps.

Good luck, hope yours goes through quickly

LILY

I asked God for a solution and have to live with his reply.