Don't Need the IVA anymore!!

[Ryan84]

Kallis3 close your eyes and picture this..

My middle finger.. im sorry, pay no attention to this, im getting defencive.. its what happens when im subjected to (As Lily said) "Public Flogging" lol

Im not going to post my monthly budget on here so you will think more of me..

I have been 100% honest with you guys.. just not my IP (yet)

[kallis3]

Ryan,

I am certainly not bitter - I am managing my debt problems the best way I know how and am happy that it is being sorted out.

I do feel sorry for you with the problems you have obviously had, it sounds as though you have had an horrendous time of it and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

However, you did squander the money (for whatever reasons - I know what it is like to go out spending when things send you spiralling down), and need to pay it back.

I just find it hard to believe that after such a massive payrise which was obviously totally unexpected at the time, you were unable to get back on track with your money.

[Ryan84]

It wasnt a pay rise, it was a new job from 14 to 18 with a promise that if i sorted 4 aboslute NIGHTMARES of projects (that i don't think my company expected me to accomplish) - they promised to put me up to a senior position on the development team..

with this job comes very intense expectations.. I need to be flexible and reliable.. im not exagerating my finance problems..

There have been times where i have had to work from home because i don't have enough money to get to work... Theres no public transport to my office which is in an industrial estate, in the middle of nowhere about 25miles from home..

take a step back and quit questioning whether you think my problem is as sever as i "make it out to be" and think about how if you were in this situation, you would deal with it?

[freelili]

Ryan

I am really trying to understand... I dont know what you want to happen.

I am very sorry about what happened to your girlfriend and baby. Its a lot to cope with, youre still here, thank goodness... You can fix this and move on.

I dont think a flogging is productive, we are all here for one reason or another. We all have had different journeys, some tragic, some not so..Personal insults are not going to help anyone either. The least we can do is to respect each other, which usually happens here.

Maybe you could just start by saying what you want to do?? I cant believe this problem cant be solved. The one and only person who can help to bring and end to this is you.... Your IP being the second. If youre not given enough to do youre job then you can take it from there.

I am not the type of person to judge anyone, we are all so different..

[kallis3]

Ryan,

This is starting to get nasty.

I am not in your situation, neither are you in mine. I just commented on things the way I saw them. If it has offended you, then I am sorry.

I won't be posting on this thread again.

[Ryan84]

I know Lily, i don't mean to get uptight... I just feel like ive spent most of my posts trying to defend my situation..

I want...

out of this enire mess! lol

but really.. i think i need my payments to increase minimally.. I quit smoking next month so thats like.. 165.00 a month i free up and i'd pay that to the trust deed i guess..

when i first came on here, i was asking for some light to be shed on the outcome of my IP finding out i have had a considerable pay increase?

Since asking that i feel WORSE about my position, particularly because of how people reacted to this, indicating that the IP will react to this in a simelar or worse manner..

im still struggeling and didnt go out to Cheat anyone when i got my new job.. Ive just kept my head down and kept going..

I have a feeling a big brick wall is up ahead..

[elizabethr]

Lily's right. You need to be thinking about what is the best for you to do under the circumstances. I don't think its right that people judge others. I could have self pity moments about people I now (not on her) that seem to have a very rosy life and they are not very nice people so how come they get all the nice things.

Ryan - not meaning to sound condesending but if you are posting so that you will "hear what you want to hear" then you probably won't. You will hear lots of points of view and advice from people who are in debt situations. I too have had a very very rough time in life (I am not going to go into the story again but people on here now most of it) and a lot of the time I think "why me" but have to move one. You don't have to answer to people on her but if you post then you can expect to get some frank replies - not here to judge but need to be honest. Another thing to recognise is that people usually get defensive when they hear something that does not fit in with what they expect to hear. You can take all the replies that people have given but in the end you have to be the one that decides which way is best for you.

[Ryan84]

Thanks Elizabeth...

i think i might be too busy rejecting the situation to realise what i have to do..

Maybe too frightend i ended up back to that place.. that frame of mind that got me here..



---------------------------------

"the monster you're feeding,
your lack of perception
the things you will do
to fullfill addictions
the light at the end of your tunnel is closing
what is it that you're so afraid of exposing?
you'd give it all up for what's there for the taking
whatever it takes to keep your hands from shaking
the same things you're thinking might make you feel better
the same things that probably get you here "

[emma_t]

Hey Ryan

Stop beating yourself up, sit down and gather your thoughts and put a plan of action together.

It seems you are all in a tiss about this, and that combined with your stressful job, is making you very stressed out.
Sometimes the thought of what might happen is worse than what would happen if you.

I think you have had a very harsh time on the forum, which is not what I personally like to see as I see supporting eachother as a big part of why I log on read and post here.

Me personally, I would ring my Ip and have a chat and find out where things stand and then you can move forward and adress the situation.

Good luck
Emma xx

[Ryan84]

Thanks Emma..

I can't ring my IP as thats the brick wall that i can push off for a couple of months..

at least i know what could happen when they find out.. The worst was not knowing what to expect..

[emma_t]

I hope it all works out for you Ryan x

[freelili]

Thats it you have hit the nail on the head, not knowing, its a bitch.... so find out? Please? youre twisting yourself up into knots here.

Hey, whats the worst thing that can happen??? If the IP throws a wobbly, calmly say, I am really sorry but a, b and c? Are you going to fail my arrangement? Are you going to make it impossible for me to afford to do my job? If they do, you go for option B a DMP? Why not ring a couple of DMP companies to see whats involved? That way are blowing away at least one wall? Knowledge will help you not to fear the unknown as it wont be unknown amymore. I feel for you, I really do... Its not a nice place to be where you are, feeling like you have failed..... twice...... Please try to believe that this is not the case, it can be solved.

Make that call.....

Good luck to you Ryan.

[Ryan84]

Thanks..

I am really glad i posted on this forum.. I had no one to talk to about this.. no one who i thought would understand and although several of you don't..

I don't feel like im frantically trying to swim against a big ass wave..

all i need now is a surf board - and a pair of balls to grab the phone and face the music.. Im just too chicken right now.. lol

[Viki.W]

Hey Ryan, glad you kept posting, although it might not seem like it sometimes, we ARE all here for you. I know how horrible it is to put something off, that's why I thought it best for you to contact your IP as soon as possible. It might not be THAT bad, and then you'll wonder what all the fuss was about. Most people can't get through to their IP immediately anyway, it could take weeks! A bit more time for you then, good luck Ryan, Viki X

[kal]

Hi Ryan - i think the fact that you've posted on here, goes to show that this is eating away at you, so I'm not sure why you are putting off phoning your IP.
You will not rest until you know what there answere is going to be - and you know you have to phone them at some point, so I think you should do it sooner rather than later.
I'm sorry to hear about what has happened to you, that must have been very rough, but you do need to sort this out - at least you can then know where you stand each month, and work out how much money you will have to live on.
Please keep us updated on how it all goes.
k.