Carole - I'm so sorry to read this, my thoughts are with you. I wish I could give you some real comfort but nothing I say will do that. My son committed suicide last year and the pain is immense...I'm in a better place now than I was 10 months ago but it's still very difficult. You will receive great advice on here from people who know far more than I do about debt management. The only advice that I can give you is from my own experience. Which is...there will be very dark days ahead, you cant stop that, you can only try to prepare yourself as well as you can. Don't rush yourself, or beat yourself up for feeling bad, or for not "getting over it" quickly..don't expect everybody to understand what you're going through or to deal with you properly, some people just can't handle it and their reactions to you will change. You will find out who your real friends are and you will treasure them, they will help you to get through this all. The only other thing...well it's worked for me, is talk about it, about your feelings, to family, friends or a counsellor. Cruse has been wonderful for me, but for quite a few months I didnt realise it was helping, although it was and is. There's also a groups called SOBS who may have a local group to you and although I've only been once so far, I found it helpful.
Lastly..and most importantly...please please take care of yourself, don't worry too much about the debt, there will be a solution to it but you have to be as well as you can be first.
I hope that some of this helps, and I wish I could do more to help you.
What a lovely, comforting post Bradders. It is almost impossible to truly understand how deeply one would feel. But it is nice to know that despite the dark days ahead, things do start to get better.
I'm so sorry for your loss. You sound like you've come a long way in a short space of time. xx
A wonderful helpful post Bradders. Sorry about your loss also. Although a dreadful thing for anyone to have to go through I hope you can see how your experience can now help others.
Wise words Bradders from one who knows. It is wonderful that there are so many lovely people on this site willing to give their time and effort to help others through not only debt worries but also personal troubles. It's humbling and truly restores your faith in human nature!!!
Take what life throws at you and hold your head up high. You're only human after all!!!
I am thinking of you as what you are going through is unimaginable. This is probably one of the worst things that could ever happen to someone at what is already a stressful and worrying time for you financially. Your thoughts must be all over the place. Try and take one day at a time. You are very strong to post so soon on this forum and I hope that if and when you feel up to it that you keep posting on this forum it is a great place for support. I'm thinking of you Carole. Hugs.
Oscar
x
ps if you feel like you are bottling things up use this forum to get support it will help you to get by x
need to smile today? go on check out my blogs - I'll add to them regularly
Our IVA's over YIPPEE unbelievable!Seems like yesterday it was approved despite everything
Lovely post from Bradders and I am so sorry to read the loss of your son too. Loss of anyone is tragic and painful but the pain with suicide is so very different to the pain of natural death or sudden loss as it leaves so many unanwsered questions and creates guilt and confusion that no-one can fully get closure on.
Grief is your own process Carole so go with it as it comes and allow yourself to feel and think what you do. There are no rules but get support as and when you need it.
Regards, Tina Shortland, Debt Advisory Manager for Melanie Giles at Debt Advice TV.
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