I am 3 years into my IVA and thought I was doing okay. Husband and grown up sons are really supportive but my work collegues don't know anything about it so have been doing the usual excuses for never going to any of the social occasions due to lack of funds etc.
Have been ill off and on for the last couple of months with infections etc but now feel so stressed with work, IVA, worry over everything that I just want to curl up and put a blanket over my head until its all over.
I was so relieved when I passed the third year mark but now I am weepy and can't even go to work - this will be the third time I have been off for a week in the last couple of months and I just can't face going back.
What on earth's going on - so fed up.
Has anyone else been like this or am I just tired and fed up and desperately need a holiday?
Don't be sorry for moaning! that's what we are all here for, to help and support through the good and bad times.
I would imagine it's probably because you are now at the middle point of your IVA, I have been thinking myself that the period from 2.5yrs to 4 yrs is probably going to be the worst part as you feel like you have been in the IVA forever and the end still seems a long way off.
Hi -- sorry things are not going too well at the moment. Might I suggest a heart to heart (well as much as you can get into a 10 minute slot) with your GP. Stresses and strains hit us all at one time or another and a 5 year IVA takes it's toll. You may need a little help to get over this blip .... you are on the downward slope now. Hang on in there.
Last edited by Foggy on Wed Feb 29, 2012 9:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
My opinions are merely that .. opinions based on experience. Always seek professional advice.
IVA Completed 23rd July 2013 .... C.C. 10th January 2014
Been there done that broke my marriage up lost weight. Don't lose hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I can see that light some years ago I coudn't. Therefore be strong you will get there believe me you will. x
Hi, big hug. you could be suffering from depression, sometimes that can "hit" after illness ie you've had infections.
it's a blessing to have so much support but maybe you need to see your DR?? depression can really draw you down, it's more than being "fed up", it's doesn't lift. if you can't face things then i'd encourage you to see the Dr.
i think a lot of us experience feeling quite low during the IVA process at some point.the reality of the mess we are in at the start of our IVA can weigh heavy but you've come so far through- well done!
will be thinking of you,post how you are[;)] x
Nothing stays the same...everything changes..hang on in there!
Hey, keep your chin up. I know how you feel when your at work and people go on about going here and there and how they are flying off to some sunny place etc.
I went through a stage where it seemed that day after day listening to everybody at work going on about how much they have spent on this and that it was doing my head in!!
In the end i did tell one of my mates at work that we are in a IVA and you know i really felt a bit of pressure was lifted off my shoulders. Funny thing was they told me that they had just finnished going bankrupt!! You just never know whats going on in peoples lives.
I give you loads of credit for getting to the 3 year stage, you are on the home run. With the clocks going foward soon and the fact that we ARE going to have a lovely summer things are going to be much better for you.
We do have our moments in our IVA but do you have a friend at work you could share it with?
Like others have said if you need a moan come on here and get it off your chest, you are not the only one having a blip.
Like i said keep your chin up,a big pat on the back for getting to the stage where you are and sharing your problems. Look foward to hearing how your getting on in a few weeks, keep us all posted.
i went through the exact same thing during year 3, its kind of where you feel your in no mans land, your too far up the IVA road to throw the towel in yet it seems a million miles away until the end! Not a nice place to be at all! It sounds like your also emotionally exhausted from worrying all the time about the IVA or the payments etc, this is totally normal but you really need to find a solution to solve this anxiety or your going to totally burn out and become very unwell. Have you looked at ways to manage your anxieties by using self help materials? Relaxation? etc
Its great that your husband and ‘kids’ are supporting, but it’s a shame your feel there are no other people your able to talk about it to meaning your bottling it all up! I know I stopped talking to my other half about how I was feeling for the fear he was becoming fed up of listening to me moaning on etc but of course he wasn’t, in fact he was more than happy to listen and work through things with me.
I guess im very lucky that I feel I can talk to my work colleagues about it, many of them know the ins and outs of my IVA than I do [;)] and on a few occasions people have sought advice from me because although I may be in an IVA ive certainly been thought the mill in relation to dealing with debt and creditors etc etc.
I think one of the main things to remember is this is just a blip, after 3 long years you have done all the hard work, back then you finally admitted there was a problem, got up off your chuff, sought advice and did something about it, that’s the hard bit! I know we have the yearly horror of the I&E (I like you and most panic from sending it back off to waiting to hear if there are any changes/increases etc etc)
Oh and if you can a few days away would do you the world of good! Is this a possibility? Are you able to use your contingency monies after a few months for a few nights away? Looking out for groupon/travelzoo deals etc
Hope this helps! And if you need me to post links to things like anxiety and low mood management materials please do give me a shout
Best wishes
Arty
IVA completion and certificate received 08/10/2012!!!
Hi Tobymoz - so pleased you have got everyone on here to turn to for help and support. Getting down with something and wanting those duvet days more and more can really start to set in and it then becomes a spiral which is hard to get out of. Without knowing anything more and whether you have had it before it sounds like you may be moving from a depressive phase into depression if you are feeling unable to return to work and are weepy a lot. Depression can take a hold quickly and before you know it you are withdrawing more and more, not looking after yourself, losing interest in everything and shutting down. I would speak to your GP to get help coping and you may have some hormonal things going on. Would Hr at work be able to help - some HR Managers can be very supportive and want to help. Speak to your hubby to let him know how you really feel so he understands, some people find it helpful to keep a diary to track themselves or just to dump things as and when they need to. The negative internal dialogue that plays can take over so get it out, whichever way suits. Sounds crazy but somepeople find sitting in front of a mirror, on their own, and talking to their reflection - you'll be amazed what comes out when you get over feeling silly about it. The reality of what you're going through is hitting home and it can make you feel hopeless but remember - this is a means to an end, you are nearer the end than the beginning and it will NOT always be like this. Everyone is here to support you as much as you need.
Take care,
Regards, Tina Shortland, Debt Advisory Manager for Melanie Giles at Debt Advice TV.
If you’re looking for effective debt related information, articles and news, then go now to our on-line advice service at www.debtadvicetv.com
If you’re ready to ask us for specific advice or help, then get in touch at www.call-me.debtadvicetv.com so you can start to free yourself from the stress and anxiety of overwhelming debt.
ps meant to add - really pleased to hear Baldy that we are going to have a great Summer this year - good news!!
Regards, Tina Shortland, Debt Advisory Manager for Melanie Giles at Debt Advice TV.
If you’re looking for effective debt related information, articles and news, then go now to our on-line advice service at www.debtadvicetv.com
If you’re ready to ask us for specific advice or help, then get in touch at www.call-me.debtadvicetv.com so you can start to free yourself from the stress and anxiety of overwhelming debt.
hiya tobymoz,
i reiterate tina's words here, sounds like you were a little down anyway, we all know life is not easy in an iva, but maybe the reoccuring infections have made you feel even lower, because feeling unwell a lot of the time is enough on its own to bring someone down.
coupled with the iva and also having time off work to be ill, has probably allowed you more spare time to dwell on the things in your life your not completly happy with.
make that visit to your G.P let him know how you are feeling, and if at all possible really push yourself to go back to work, it will make you feel better, even though it doesn't feel that way now.
wishing you all the best
kat.
kat
IVA accepted 6th May 2011, Full and Final accepted 17th April 2012.
Hiya Tobymoz. I hope things are looking a bit better this morning. I, for one, will now be cheering myself up with the thought of Tina chatting to herself in the mirror, perhaps even singing into her hairbrush !!!!
Do you know she dances on tables too !!!!!
My opinions are merely that .. opinions based on experience. Always seek professional advice.
IVA Completed 23rd July 2013 .... C.C. 10th January 2014
I am there as well. I feel like I am loosing the plot, but I will tell you a secret. There is a way of keeping it all together... trust these guys here to keep you sane. If your sad, depressed or just need a chat drop them a line. I promise you, you will always have someone there to listen to you.
Another thing that is helping me is my blog... do you have one? If not it may help to start one so you can vent... I do on mine, not just about IVA but about my whole life, and its been a life saver.
I hope with all my heart that you will get better soon... it may also be a good idea to visit ur doctor and tell him you are feeling down, he may be able to help.
Well aren't I so lucky to have you all reply with such fantastic support! You are all brilliant!
I did go to see the doctor and as I have already been off work for a week - just couldn't face it - he has signed me off for another week.
I am just so tired and weary - just getting over flu and kidney infection - painful! so do feel I need it.
Went through eveerything with him and he agreed that I am both physically and emotionally burnt out.
I have started taking supplements and eating loads of fruit and veg that's full of things to boost the system and hoping that combined with some rest will pick me up again.
Plus had a chat with a friend who has a caravan in Norfolk and asked how much she charges for a week's hire and she has offered it free! So got a holiday to look forward to.
You are all right - chin up, move on - sun's actually out today as well!
Thanks so much to you all - what a godsend this site is!
Sorry - Arty can you let me have details of the links for anxiety and low mood managements - would really appreciate it. Determined to get on top of this.
