In the process of applying for a IVA -Its the first month I've ever missed a payment ever! I've had my wages this month paid into a new account -feel guilt that I've left a debt of £19,000 with my old bank of 25years
Dont feel any guilt, you are doing the best you can to pay your debts.
I was with my bank for 34 years fould it hard to change but had to be done so I could start getting my life back to where it should be.
That not taking from one to pay the other debt.
IVA now over with and it was worth it.
now starting my life again,
You should absolutely not feel guilty at all - simply proud that you are addressing this problem and intending to work hard to see creditors repaid to the best of your ability.
Banks are so de-personalised these days, that you are just another number on another day to them - despite your loyalty over the last few years.
Don't feel guilty! We had also been with our bank for a long time (HSBC, formerly Midland) but after the way they treated us when we asked for help I'm afraid I had no problem with walking away and leaving our debts.
You're doing the right thing in addressing your debts.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
I think most on this forum can relate to the way you're feeling but you should feel proud, you've had the guts to do something about it rather than hiding from it and hoping it will go away.
Please don't feel guilty dunkynuts. You probably have valid reasons for being in debt. Unfortunately once we got into the spiral of paying interest only and balances going up, unless we get a lottery win there's not much we can do about it.
The only thing you should concentrate on, is that you have recognised the problem and are being sensible about sorting out the best solution for everyone.
Don't feel for the banks - they've had it good for years! As Mel says - you are just a number to them. HSBC wouldn't extend our overdraft for 3 days in Jan and after that I gave up trying to pay things and decided enough was enough. I do still feel bad sometimes but you have to pick yourself up and concentrate on your future.
this post resonates so much with me,never missed a payment on anything for all my working life, so its so, so hard to admit you have got things wrong, but hopefully things will start to get better for you from now on, my creditors meeting is in a few days time !! fingers crossed... good luck with everything.. and you have come to the right forum site i have learned so much from the good peolpe on here...
It's hard not to feel guilty at first but you will come to accept it. Just box the feelings up and put them to the back of your mind while you get down to business paying back as much as you can xx
I can completley empathise with this thought process. When I started the IVA process I have never missed a payment although I was robbing peter to pay paul. Missing the first couple of payments while the process evolved made me feel awful. I still do feel bad about not being able to pay back everything but on reflection by far the largest proportion of the debt was in fact accumulated interest added on at a rate way way above that of the Bank of England Rate. Now I take pride in the fact that interest rates are no more and I am paying back as much as I humanley possibly can. I am looking forward to the day when I can post on here about my completion certificate, a long way off I know but at least the end can be seen.
Rod
Most day's you feel like the statue but just once in a while you get to be the pigeon!
Lots of us understand! I had never missed a payment either, I'd been with my bank forever and they'd actually always been really good to me, I always found their service quite personal, and I had to leave them. They were even good about something when we left!! In fact when the IVA is over I'll probably go back if they'll have me ha ha!
I also felt uncomfortable about not paying my debts whilst the IVA was being set up, but addressing your debts is the best thing you can do. It's certainly the best thing I ever did, it may have been uncomfortable at times but at least we've acknowledged our problems and are trying to address them!
"It is never too late to be what you might have been"
Fiona
I think we have all been there at some stage during our iva journey, (sorry to use an x factor word).
Guilt, shame etc.
I know some of us of a (ahem) certain age were consumed more by what our parents might think rather than the debt itself.
At least you have taken steps to deal with things.
Aucto Splendore Resurgo.
IVA accepted May 2007.
Extended by 12 months in lieu of equity March 2012.
F+F offer accepted May 2012.
C of C received August 2012.
IVA dropped off credit file 24th May 2013.
Yes, I'm one of those OT. My parents would kill me if they knew how much debt we were in.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Think the thought of shaming myself and my family are the reasons we have kept this to ourselves.... only one of my friends knew of our plight, but not until we were half way through. Must say, though, she has been an absolute tower of strength and a real god send.
