This one needs some discipline as well and doesn't get it. I am really thankful that we don't see her often.
Her cousin, now she is mostly a lovely child and we love to see her.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
I kept out of the way as much as possible - she really is an obnoxious child.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Hello to everyone and so sorry for not acknowledging your messages sooner. It's been one hell of a week. My son is going into hospital on Tuesday for an endoscopy so i have had to try and fit 2 weeks work into this week so it's been manic and all the time i keep thinking about this forum! lol.
Thank you all for your messages and really the jokes about the 'doorstep man' really brought a smile to my face - iva forum leaning out of my window saying 'go away' would be classic and would make a great forum picture and even now im smiling!
So I had a really bad downturn on Monday and couldn't face the world and since i have told no-one about my situation because i felt i couldn't confide in anyone - i bit the bullet on monday - i was so low and went to see a friend of mine and confided in her. Why did I do this - because this forum gave me the strength to do so and not to feel like an outcast.
My friend is a potter in the real sense of the term - she teaches pottery! Her house is made up of pottery, sketches, organic teas and organic everything else you can think of. It's like going into a treasure trove when you cross the threshold of her home. Her son and my son are very good friends.
Anyway I arrived, cried, blurb and eventually managed to describe why I was in such a state. She listened and made me some tea and we talked for hours. Next is something I will remember all my life... I was so cold (even though it was a warm day)... she said right Teresa you smoke... how much is a packet of fags £7.00 ??? Let's take the dog and walk to the corner shop... Im crap with money but Im going to show you how to roll a cigarette - it will save you a tonne of money plus you will smoke less!
So there I goes... having not eaten for 48 hours... freezing with her flower power jacket up to the corner shop - we bought a packet of Golden Virginia, went back to hers and she taught me how to 'roll my own'. This is something I will never forget. A moment in time, it will always stay with me. Ok so I haven't been on the forum because im all fingers and thumbs trying to roll my own. Have I saved money... you bet I have!
My second milestone this week was coming clean with my employers... I told them the lot and they have been out of this planet so supportive. Want to do whatever they can and so non judgemental.
The point about all of this is that I would have done none of it without this forum. It gave me the strength to go ahead with an IVA... it gave me new friendships without judgement... it gave me hope to believe in myself again and stop thinking that I have failed my 2 boys.
Ok so you're all dying to hear about the 'doorstep man'... basically I took the cowards way out... I text him and said I needed a payment break this week. Today I have posted by recorded delivery a letter explaining that I am in insolvency proceedings and cannot favour one creditor over another so unable to make any further contributions. Will the door knock on Monday... I hope not but i feel stronger and more able to cope.
Jan - thank you so much for the links and sorry I have not had chance to thank you sooner.
Rosepetal... thank you - doorstep collector was my worst fear... not accomplished yet but half way there.
You know as a single parent, none of my family know about my situation - yet I have drawn great strength from this forum. Now I have this forum to confide in, a friend who can help me roll a cigarette and an employer who is fully supportive and has empathy towards my situation.
A week ago I had no-one... now life can only get better.
Thank you so much to everyone on this thread... you really do know how to put the meaning of 'lifeline' in a thread.
What an inspiring post tajsiva and so glad that we have been able to help you and give you the strength to tell others. That takes some courage, I couldn't do it.
No need to apologise for not thanking me, the surveys are my lifeline and if I can help anyone with them then I will.
Glad we made you laugh as well - that always helps!!
Sorry to hear about your son, I do hope he is ok.
You know where I am if you want to speak about anything off forum.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Hiya - have just picked this thread up. Glad you sound more positive now. It's never worth beating yourself up about debt. We may have got ourselves into it but it's b***** hard trying to pay the damn thing back. I have not regretted one minute going into an IVA. Like you I have now discovered the joys of rolling my own cigs! I take so long doing them that sometimes now I can't be bothered! I went to my local stop smoking counsellor and got some patches which I use during the day and then smoke when I get home at 2!! I feel so much better for cutting down. I was smoking way too much mainly due to stress and I hate to admit that for the last few months before going into the IVA I could only afford them by putting them on my credit card - madness!
Anyway - keep smiling!![:D]
Thank you. I have been completely inspired by this forum - can't really put it into words. It works like magic.
I almost have all my paperwork ready to send off - just a couple of bits and pieces left. Funny, when I got the list I looked at it and thought... how do I find all that? Simple... just go to iva forum and you will be inspired.
Thank you about my son, he was very poorly last year for several months but we got a great consultant and Tuesday/wednesay is hospital time. Basically they are going to put a camera inside him to see what the gastro problem is. I don't think it's anything serious but as he is only 12 needs sorting now rather than 10 years down the line when it would be more complicated.
And yes, all of my strength has come from this forum... without it I most definitely would not be so positive or knowledgeable about an IVA.
Instead of suffering in silence I have opened up a little to those I trust and it has changed everything except I still can't roll a damn cigarette.
I hope it's good news with your son, fingers crossed.
The forum is brilliant - I'd be lost without it now.
Not smoked for years and never done a rollup so can't help you there!!
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Kazzafunk - Im a bit like you - can't roll the damn things but determined to master it - funny thing is that Im starting to prefer the taste of a roll up - but it is so frustrating when you can't roll them - I am f and b all over the place! lol. But i am smoking less and hopefully this way will get me off them ( wishful thinking!). So what is the secret of your IVA... so many people complain I would love to know any hints or tips?
Jan... whether you have smoked or not you are the backbone of this site and the person who gave me the confidence to join... one in a million I would say x
Hi Tajsiva
Glad you feel better, I too confided in a friend whom I'm work with had a complete breakdown at work and like your friend she listened and has been very supportive and non judgemental as she said a true friend would never judge you.
Hope your son gets on ok, keep posting and let us know how u get on x
The month before we entered the IVA I lived like I was in one already. I bought a big pukka pad (got different dicders in) from Tescos. In 1 section I have my bank balance running so I know where I am (co-op can run a couple of days behind on line), the next section is where I write what I spend on shopping (and i keep all the receipts for the month so if I run short I can see what I have wasted money on!) and another section for fuel each month for both of us. May seem over the top but I have to be in control of this as it's last chance isn't it? I want to adopt this way of thinking for the rest of my life so very strict about noting things down.
The other thing I do is batch cook. I buy loads of foil dishes off ebay (although I've just found them cheaper in our local cash and carry), then I buy loads of mince or chicken when on offer, value veg and value tinned tomatoes. Loads of cheap sauce mixes (brill when on offer). Then we spend a whole day making pies, spag bol, chillis etc for the freezer. That way it's all home cooked and done on the cheap. I don't buy value meat but Tescos so BOGOF quite often so that's when I stock up.
We are lucky enough to live next to a farm so have permission to collect his apples and blackberries if I make him and his sons some pies so have 40 in the freezer which will do us all over the winter!
If you can, buy things when on offer - if my washing powder or dishwasher tabs are on offer I will buy 2 or 3 packs and do without something else that week. We both use value milk - no different whatsoever, we bulk buy cereal - Tescos had buy 1 get 2 free on Ready Brek a while back so I have 6 packs ready for winter. It's all about planning, I don't have children and I think it's probably far harder with kids, but I do spoil my niece and nephew and buy things throughout the year at clearance prices, stick them in a suitcase then wrap them up as stocking fillers.
A friend of mine (not in an IVA) does that with things all year from Tescos when they have their clearouts and that does all the childrens party gifts.
Also - get into doing surveys on line, Jan can email you the links. I have been doing them 3 months and already have £30 in vouchers sat in a drawer waiting to be spent. You don't have to spend too much time doing them, some are fun and they send you stuff to test for them. We just did some chicken breasts in a lovely coating they are trialling and it was fantastic - and I got £3 for doing it and telling them all about it afterwards. Well worth doing.
That's all I can think of for now - but will post other tips if I can think of them!!
Hi we are going through the iva process now, well going to be in hubby's name but I'm having to sort it all out, love him to bits but bit useless with stuff like that. At the proposal stage. As kazza said we are actually living like wwe are in the iva now sticking to the budget got all my spreadsheets set up so I know actually what we are spending, even managed to get the first payment saved, which is good and a little extra, I'm also looking for BOGOFs and special offers and also started to cook dinners and freeze them and I do a lot more baking, it certainly makes u think about what you are buying
I have also emailed Jan tonight on fb as I would like the link to the surveys. I know we are not in the iva yet but like you since finding the forum it has really helped, just wish I had known about this years ago. I'm also on fb so is you ask Jan I'm sure she will send you my details if you want to add me x x
