All those going through an IVA at the moment and waiting for your creditors meeting, I've just had my first week and it's been a strange mix of emotions, so I just wanted to let you know as I think a few of us have been accepted lately and have been feeling the same. Don't worry it's normal!
I had the elation and relief last Monday, Tuesday I was beyond shattered good for nothing, all that tension & worry finally lifted, then by Thursday panic started to set in about the reality of being in an IVA and that the next 6 years of my life were set in stone, today I've woken up thinking, wow I'm coming to terms with it, it will be hard, but I had no option and so lets get on with it.
I may sound like a loony and you may think well I'll just be relieved if I'm accepted but you are likely to go through mixed emotions, just sharing my experiences, hope it helps!
I'm going to start a blog soon but I have a stupidly busy couple of weeks so don't want to do it until I'm finished, then I'll post stuff like this on there, however I know there are lots of people who read but don't take part and so I just wanted to let you know we all experience this!
"It is never too late to be what you might have been"
Fiona
Nice post Fiona and I think we've all experienced this - I can still remember what I felt like beforehand and on the day of the meeting and that was over three years ago!
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
yes i know just how you feel, ours was a F&F iva with help from my parents. i am grateful,without their help we would have had to go BR BUT it does weigh heavy on me owing them money. i feel i'm justifying what we're doing to them all the time. it's difficult & feels uncomfortable.
the acceptance is the start of this process. on the plus side our debts were out of control...the only way they were going was up. IVA or BR were the only choices after getting into such a mess.
hang in there,at least you can breathe again now x
Nothing stays the same...everything changes..hang on in there!
I wish I could wake up feeling like you Fiona! but I still feel very much that this is a heavy weight for me to carry for the next few years and I don't think I'm going to come to terms with it as quickly as you
I was just so relieved that we'd been accepted and could answer the phone and await the postman with no worries - daughter has more mail than us these days!
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
I found I went through all sorts of emotional hoops in the early weeks, but the prevailing feeling was, and still is, relief!
Looking ahead 5 or 6 years seems like a life sentence, I have been in 6 months now and those 6 months have flown by ( here's hoping the rest will too).
Think back to what you were doing 5 or 6 years ago or what was happening:
Charlie and Camilla got hitched, Hurricane Katrina hit the US, Rover went under, Michael Jackson got let off his charges, the ride to the 2012 Olympics started, and we had bird flu ........ all of that doesn't seem so long ago. So 5 or 6 years isn't THAT long in the grand scheme of things [:)]
My opinions are merely that .. opinions based on experience. Always seek professional advice.
IVA Completed 23rd July 2013 .... C.C. 10th January 2014
Absolutely Jan. I can't believe how quickly the calls and letters stopped for me. I don't get any now and haven't had a letter from a creditor for over 5 months!.
Littlefi, great post. I felt exactly the same and it's ups and downs all the way. This forum is so invaluable to us all as it keeps us all up to date and motivated to regain control of our finances.
I am now over a year in and I still have mixed emotions, most days I feel good that everything is being sorted, but some days I just feel the next few years are going to go so slowly and I feel my life is on hold, I look at my grandson and think he is going to be 8 before this finishes, and my new grandchild will be going to nursery school and it's not even born yet![:D]
So even after all this time there are still down days, not as many as the first few month when 60 months seemed endless. Now I am in the 40's months left it does seem easier, maybe I am more accepting now... I did resent the fact at first that this situation was put on me and it wasn't even my fault just the fact hubby was made redundant them got ill. I felt I was being punished for it.
If life is what you make it, I must have been in a strange mood when I made mine
I am in my 1st year of the IVA, I try to see the payment as the same as a loan or credit card bill and not to see it as some kind of mill stone or punishment for poor spending behaviour in the past.
There are many many people paying larger amounts each month just servicing their debts or falling further into debt.
I have to agree its difficult when the car service or MOT is due or when a big expense comes round - I am still trying to recover from a £3,500 dental bill [:D]
I sometimes feel that it is never ending but then I look at how far we have come and wonder where the time has gone!
I can't believe we're almost halfway through the year already!!!
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
That is one hell of a bill Mike! How have you managed to sort that out?
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
I think that I'll probably find it easier to deal with once we're a few months in, I don't even feel a sense of relief anymore, I did the day we were accepted but now I just feel very much that everything we do is being scrutinized and no one is making me feel that way, it's just me I guess. This very much feels like a punishment and I wasn't expecting that feeling at all.
As far as the budgeting goes I think we are doing fine, as I have said before, despite all the debt we have I have for the past 3 years managed to budget extremely well and the debt has not increased during that time (not gone down either though) so now we are in the IVA I don't feel restricted in that way at all as our budget now is much more generous that it was beforehand (hence why we managed to meet our minimum payments before as we were on such a tight budget), it's purely the fact I feel answerable to our IP in the fact we have to share our payslips every month, provide receipts for this and receipts for that, I feel like there is no trust there at all
Ah Lem I've woken up like that this morning, who knows what I'll feel like next week, I totally don't think I have it sorted in my head yet.
I expect the up and down emotions will go on for a long while until we get used to the true reality!
The hardest for me at the moment is we love to travel & obviously can't as haven't got the cash, but we live not a million miles for Heathrow and I hate driving past & seeing the planes going over, ah well, one day we will again!
"It is never too late to be what you might have been"
Fiona
Been in my IVA for 3 weeks nearly, still happy as only paying £205 per month instead of trying to scrape together £560. So I feel it's a 6 year burden but am a lot happier knowing things getting sorted.
Budgeting very strongly and managed to save £30 from this weeks budgets... I know I'll need it somewhere down the line
