Hi Everyone
I hope this finds you all well today.
Well it's done. Went to the court for 9.30am to see the judge. I had to hang around for a while, which I expected. Then the Clerk from yesterday came and sat with me and said 'The judge is very happy with your petition and therefore he does not need to see you'. I was so shocked - I had built myself up so much that I was going to see him. She asked me to go downstairs so she could bring me my order - which she gave me and then that was it. I left the court in a total state of shock - I could not quite get my head around how smooth it had gone. I guess I felt that due to my own guilt, having a rollocking from the judge would have been what I felt I deserved. Do I feel better now? I am relieved there is a conclusion. I am still in disbelief how smooth it went - my life has never been smooth so this is a total shock! The OR called as soon as I got home and talked to me about a few things. They do not publish your name locally anymore - only in the London Gazette. Also I had been advised not to put my bank account, which is not connected with the debt in anyway, on to the BR forms. However the OR contacts the bank anyway and the bank decides whether to freeze your account or not - not the OR. She said if she contacts them before the bank get my name from the London Gazette it is better as she will tell them she is happy for me to keep the account. Anyway my big interview is next Thursday - step 3 - and then that is it.
I don't feel in anyway it is a happy thing or pleasing experience. To be honest it has been desperately sad - a total emotional rollercoaster. But I know over time I will get my head round it and life can move on positively. I was really pleased as the OR said she would file in my report my request to Thank my creditors with all my heart for lending me the money and why - and also my sorrow at not being able to pay them. I kind of feel better about that now - like there is some closure. I guess as my debt is totally linked with my children that is why it is so emotional.
I do have to share with you something though that made me remember what all the debt was about. Last night my son (9 years) who has only been at school now for 6 months - read to me from a book. I know it would have been a book probably for a 5-6 year old - but I don't care. MY SON READ! Despite all of his disabilities, in 6 months the speech and language therapist at school has got him to differentiate the sounds and now he can read a little. Was it worth it - absolutely no question Yes everytime. Both children have a future now - something I could not provide for them on my own, nor any other school - but getting them to this very special school - well I believe they can achieve anything now. An eminant psychiatrist from the High Court had predicted my son, last January, would be dead or in prison before he was 18 if he didn't get to this school. Now look at my boy fly
And my daughter too - she's learnt to swim despite having one of her numerous problems as an OCD about water!
Sorry to waffle on guys and bend your ears. I am going to have a quiet rest of the day. Thank you for listening. And especially I want to send a Hug to Melanie Giles - Melanie Thank You from the bottom of my heart - thank you for listening - and thank you for helping me when I felt so lost.
Poppyfairy [:)]
There's an old zen saying 'Only an empty bowl can be filled'. It means that the moment you think you have nothing left is the moment when growth and progress become inevitable. Everytime you see an empty bowl, think of the potential.
Good Morning to Everyone