This Time Last Year

[thebear29uk]

Hi all

I just wanted to reflect on my situation this time last year in the hope that anyone just confronting their debt problems will see that there can be light at the end of the tunnel.

I had yet to join this forum as a member (3rd Jan I think) but was reading every single post from the beginning of November.

I was minutes away from calling Debt Free Direct when I found this site and in the end I decided to call Thomas Charles. Doug Prior, who posts on here, was absolutely brilliant and I could call his mobile whenever I had a panic moment, or whenever I wanted clarification about what a creditor/collection agency might have been telling me.

To everyone in that limbo stage of recognising you have a debt problem and organising to get financial help but not yet on the IVA path this can be a horrible time. Constant phone calls to your landline, mobile and, in worse case scenarios, to your workplace, all add to the pressure you feel under. That and the mountain of letters pushed through the letterbox daily. "Pay up or else" ... "we must get a payment from you today or we will have to pass your account to our legal/collections team"... etc.

I had all that but Doug reassured me that the more ridiculous claims were just that and just be firm and say that you are seeking financial assistance, you are not in a position to make payment today and you will keep them informed of any developments.

At the begining of Feb I went to Cardiff to meet Melanie and can only reiterate what Andy and MikeS have said about how excellent she and her team really are.

Once Melanie was onboard I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders. I was now able to refer people to my IP and inform them I was preparing an IVA. The phone calls continued along with some strange mail tactics from MBNA - Postcards saying "hi I'll give you a call in the next few days" and letters pointing out that in 5 years time (the length of an IVA) the Olympics would be in London etc.

Due to some delays whilst I tried to remortgage my property my creditors meeting didn't take place til the end of July. This delay was in no way Melanie's fault more my stubborness in trying to hold onto my property. Tony Parsons (Welshboy) helped a lot in trying to find me a great mortgage deal but in the end because I was renting the property out the rate reflected this and was more than the rental income.

So the outcome was that I would sell my house and go for a full and final. This was accepted in July and early next month the sale should be completed and Melanie will be able to issue a certificate of completion.

So what have I learned. People on the other end of a phone can make you sad/upset/angry/depressed/guilty and more but they cannot take what you haven't got. I got quite good at correcting people when they were telling me they could do this and that. I'd reply that actually you can't because.... one of the great benefits of this website and all the expert advice you receive both directly and indirectly. Don't get me wrong, I didn't become arrogant and cocky. I knew they were my debts and mine alone and I was/still am sorry that I allowed it to get to the state it did. But whilst remaining polite I wouldn't be bullied by someone who knew nothing of my circumstances other than the details that flashed up on his screen with his/her next call on the list.

I also found that the longer my situation went on the more knowledgeable the people dealing with it were. They were aware of IVAs and just wanted to be sure all avenues had been explored.

I've learned to budget. I'm a demon at the checkouts these days. For any of you that like red wine the deal of the moment has to be Asda. Hardys Crest is normally £8 but you can buy 3 for £10. I needed a new pair of shoes for work. Now the old me would want the leather uppers, leather sole variety that normally retail in the £50-£60 price range. The new me went to shoe express and got a pair for £12!! DVDs are never bought as new releases unless there is a price war going on between the supermarkets. For example Casino Royale was £14.99 most places but I got it at Sainsburys for £8.00. And just to show how much I've changed I was raging when I found Asda selling it for £7. Lol.

But I would like to finish my rambling (maybe I should have made this a blog) by saying the real reason I got through this was this brilliant website. The experts give so freely of their time and its nice to see the number of experts growing. Andy and Admin do a fantastic job moderating and where necessary excluding certain individuals that bring the forum into disrepute. But the main people are you and I. The ones needing the help and providing support to others even when your own situation is still evolving.

Special mention to Skippy (Lets beat those scousers tomorrow) Kerri (lets beat you scousers tomorrow lol), Lily, Ang, Tracey.h and finally, for their fantastic humour in difficult times, Mish and Olympic Torch.

Its the season of goodwill. This Xmas our family presents are token gifts apart from the children. Its about family being altogether.

Please all have a great Xmas to the best of your abilities.

I may not be on much over the next few days but will be back to offer support in the New Year.

Finally to Lily, I'll be thinking of you this Xmas and when I go to mass on Xmas Day I'll light a candle for your mum. Please try to remember the good times at Xmas with her and enjoy as best you can for your children's sake.

Best wishes everyone

Dave

[lily]

Dear Bear

Thank you so much, it will be the anniversary on Friday, I will go with my sister to see the new plaque but I will smile and say thank you, I do try not to be sad, it was just such a shock. I do miss her and it still hurts but what she gave me I will cherish everyday.

I have had so much support from here and I will always be grateful for that.

This has been a long, long journery for us and mine is not over yet but I would like to say, life without money is so much better than money without life.

Take care Dave, and thanks again.

lily

[thebear29uk]

Hi Lily

Are you close to a completion on your situation?

I do hope so as having met you I think you deserve closure and the opportunity to move on with your life.

Any loss is hard to take but the important thing is to let the memory live on.

Best regards

Dave

[cat 1]

what a heart felt 'entry'. There are some very warm and genuine people on this forum who I know I will be forever grateful to, especially over the next 6 long years. People that have already kept me relatively sane and informed over the last 2 months.Thank you again

[Adam Davies]

Hi Bear
Great post
Any chance,as you say "But I would like to finish my rambling (maybe I should have made this a blog)" that you can cut and paste this onto a blog ?
I don't want to lose this post as I think that it will inspire and help many
Regards

Andy Davie
IVA.co.uk Spokesperson and Website Manager

About me:
http://www.iva.co.uk/andy_davie_profile.asp

IVA Helpline: 0800 197 4838
http://www.iva.co.uk/iva_helpline.asp

[Dominic]

Yes a good post this time last year i made my first IVA payment, 12 down 48 to go.

[thebear29uk]

Hi Andy

I will try to make it into a blog. Just need to read up on how to do it first.

Regards

Dave

[sps]

An excellent post Dave I'm sure it will help many who are just starting out on tackling their debt problem.
I will be thinking of you on Friday Lily.
Sue

[scaredkez]

what a lovely post! thank you for the mention, you also have been an inspiration to many on the forum, and long may it continue, i hope you have a lovely xmas, i know what you mean about budgeting at the check out but the irony of it all is i actually love hunting the bargains, its amazing how much you can save, if we all carry on this way we will end up being millionaires, even today i went to allsports found a lovely named track suit for my eldest reduced to 13.99 when i got the till it was only £8 i felt so chuffed, another thing in his stocking.
all the best dave.
kerri

Please view my blog at: http://scaredkez.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[Skippy]

Thanks for the mention Dave, and thanks for your support as well.

I was thinking what I have learned in the past year and I know I have changed a lot. I realise now that I am stronger than I thought - this year my uncle died and I went BR and I didn't think I could survive those things but I did. I have more confidence than I used to and a lot of that is down to this forum - I enjoy posting, and hopefully helping people. I've also learned that life is too short to waste it worrying about money - as Bear says, they can't have what you haven't got, and I realise that now.

One of the main things I have learned is that you don't have to have met people for them to be friends. Thanks to this forum I have made some very good friends.

Bear, WE BEAT THE SCOUSERS!!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a draw in the Gooners and Chelski match.



Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[thebear29uk]

Hi Kerri and Skippy

Thanks for your replies.I'm sure Kerri isn't as pleased as we are about the footie. I was willing Chelski on to equalize but to no avail.

Hopefully we may get to meet next year at a Frugal Friends gathering.

Merry Xmas to you both and your nearest and dearest.

Dave

[mikebdomain]

Fantastic post Bear - I agree it certainly would be a great blog

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[Skippy]

Same to you Bear, and lets hope we can both make it to a meeting in 2008!

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[aguise]

Lovely post Dave. Thanks from me too. Have a great xmas.

Ang

Please visit my blog at http://aguise.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[thebear29uk]

Hi Admin

I've tried to create a blog account but don't seem to have received the confirmation email to my hotmail account. I've checked in junk and deleted too.

Any ideas?

Dave