There's more to life

[Skippy]

This post probably won't be popular with some people, but some recent posts have got me thinking.

While the majority of us on here want to repay our debts to the best of our abilities, there are more important things in life - health, relationships, families etc. I think there comes a time when we all need to take a step back and think 'well I've done my best, but my health and that of my family are so much more important.' If that means the creditors don't get paid, or don't get so much then so be it.

Please don't take this as me saying stuff the creditors, I don't mean it like that at all!

[Moneystinks]

Don't worry Skippy I know exctly what you are getting at!

I want to try and stay loyal to Melanie and her team by paying back and sticking to the agreement, but I will be the first to stand up and say I'm struggling if there is an extreme illness/circumstance.

I have Melanie's number on speed dial already [;)] [:D]

You never know what is round the corner and some things definately have to take priority........

I am sure there are lots of people on here who agree with you and know from which angle you are coming. XX [:)]

[rayb]

I agree with you Skippy there is nothing more important than your health and family - period!!!!

[Julie]

Totally agree with you Skippy.

[jane.l]

I totally agree with you, I made myself ill with all the stress of debt, was nearly driven to suicide. In an ideal world, yes, the creditors should get paid but not at the expense of health and family. We decided a new, fresh start was needed, bankruptcy was ideal for us, we can finally look to the future without this huge debt hanging over us, we lost our house, etc but so what, family comes first.




We had a lot of debt (including the house, about £100,00) and I am afraid the creditors will not see a penny of it. All we had to repay was 3 months NIL Tax from hubby's wage. I decided I was not working in a job I hated, just to be lumbered with paying an IPA for 3 years so waited until after discharge before looking for more permanant work. You have to do what is the right thing for your situation, I decided to put the kids first, my daughter wants to go to France on a school trip, it is hundreds of pounds, there is no way we could afford that if we had an IPA.

I believe we made the best decision for us and have no regrets at all.

[emma_t]

Well Said Skippy[:)]

The stress and worry nearly tipped me over the edge and the forum was the only thing that saved me at the time.
While I do want to repay creditors and am very commited to finishing my iva, I no longer feel the guilt/shame towards my creditors to the extent that I did at the beginning of my iva.

When you first admit you need help with your debts and can't pay them it feels like the most important and stressful thing ever, but really in the scheme of things it is secondary to family, health and hapiness. There is always a solution.

Hope you are well[:)]
Emma x

[freelili]

I have learned so much....

The old Lily would have just stressed about losing time from work when I had to attend school to watch my daughter win a cup of kindness award. Or stressed about my son leaving his special school and going to main stream college...

I thought being in debt was the worst thing ever, little did I know a few weeks later.....I couldnt have cared less about creditors at this time, in fact, if I have had a gun, there would have been a few less out there.

Somethings are priceless, for everything else, I can wait..

Fantastic post skip.

[chris.g]

Well said Skippy, there are far more important things in life than debt and paying it back. The creditors have ways to cushion the impact of financial loss, we very rarely do. Well done for everyone who is dealing with their debt the best way they possibly can

[kallis3]

I totally agree with the posts on here.

Your health is just not worth the risk. We were stressed, worried and scared before starting our IVA. Now we know that we will be paying back some of our debts and our creditors are 'sort of' in favour of it (most of them didn't bother to vote) we can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I know I will struggle and I already miss not being able to fall back on the credit card, but as long as we can be strong I think we can get through it.

I certainly don't knock people who have done their best but who cannot cope anymore. Health and family are more important

[rockbottom]

HI Skippy

i was thinking the same thing as you today (great minds think alike), none of us intended for this to happen, circumstances change and you deal with it in the best way for you. my best friend is in hospital with her son at the moment they have been there 2 wks and he still isnt better, she is in an awful mess he is very ill they are testing for luekemia and tb and alsorts, my neice has just come out of hospital after going in with stomach pains, she is now being prepared for kidney dialaysis and being put on the transplant list, at the moment i want to pay back what i can and be debt free as im finding it extremely stressfull, but ive just played catch the nemo ball with my 2yr old and the smile on her face is magical, you cant buy that, some things are definately more precious and with all thats going on my money problems are insignificant.

rb

[quark2008]

Got me thinking about my situation again. After what happened to me and my health over the last month, Which was totally unexpected, it's going to take me quite a while to get back to full health again, not only in mind but body as well. I will never allow my debts and fear to ruin my health ever again and will not think twice about throwing in the towel once i am unable to function properly due to stress. My heart will not take it literally.I'm 34 and the prospect of having to have an angiogram at the age of 35 does concern me a great deal. I take enough medication as is. However, i want to take things month by month and every time i make a payment into my IVA i will feel some sense of achievement i am sure. Health is wealth.

[tinytori]

I have been thinking like about this alot recently, and I totally agree with you Skippy!!!!
I have a friend who just went BR and it seems so b***** easy (but im not saying it is, please dont jump on me) she paid the money went to court and thats it. Me on the other hand Im a yr into my IVA and im still stressing about money etc, how can I buy my daughter a bike for her birthday etc every day money gets me so down!! and yes I know its my own fault. But I dunno is BR the easy option?? sorry easier option???

[Skippy]

I think whether or not BR is the easier option depends on whether or not you have any assets that would be at risk. I'll admit that for me BR was the easier option - my only asset was my car, which I could keep as I needed it for work. As most of you know I tried an IVA, which I really wanted to work, but there was no way it was going to, so BR was the only option left for me.

[quark2008]

Skippy, after reading your posts, i feel confident of which steps to take if things don't work out with the IVA. BR is a relatively straight forward process. Especially if there are no assets involved. I may be wrong but i feel a lot of people are in such a state of panic and distress that an IVA is the best thing to enter at the time. Again i may be wrong so sorry to all for that. Guilt is the main reason for entering the IVA, wanting to pay back what i borrowed seemed right for me in the end.#13;#10;#13;#10;Quality of life has to take precedence. I'm sure creditors don't give a damn about us really, they are insured for losses, they probably agreed further loans and finance when it is clear from credit checks that some are already quite committed. Sometimes i feel money was thrown in bundles at us.And now they want it back and don't care how they get it. I'm waffling...#13;#10;#13;#10;I have a sense of growing sympathy for myself to falling victim to the money throwing, and for others. Look what is happening to the banks now,and you see so little loan adverts now, just savings, savings, savings.#13;#10;#13;#10;I have no idea what i am trying to say here. Oops#13;#10;#13;#10;#13;#10;

[CoverItAll]

As the number of homes in negative equity increases bankruptcy may well become a better option as it will not involve losing the home.

A year before my bankruptcy, with a deed, I transferred the house, mortgage and life policy to my wife, in exchange for the right to live there so long as I paid her each month an amount of money equal to the mortgage payment.

My Trustee was the local OR, and this arrangement was not challenged from 1995 to 1998 when I was discharged.