Good moaning people. That's french for good morning. [:)] Another Sunday lazy morning. I had my bankruwoman breakfast while Mr Debtdummy slept. He snores (ugh)so I place a tissue over his mouth and nose and watch it bob up and down and up and down. Ha!
I have a few jokes to brighten your day. They are not the best jokes, but they should at the very least make you smile. Here goes!
This mother was talking to 999 in a panic.
''It's my son...he ate some ants!' The dispatcher replys,'' Oh...that's alright just give him some milk. He doesn't need an ambulance for that.'' The mother then says,'' Well, I gave him some ant poison to kill the ants!'' Dispatcher says,'' What was that address again?''
This vicar was asked to do a funeral service. He agreed and arrived at the cemetary. He walked over to the hole and started praying. It was a lovely thoughtful prayer. After he left, one grave digger looks over at the other grave digger and says,'' Geee, mate that was the best prayer I have ever heard for a septic tank.''
This lady went into McDonalds. The sign read you could order 6, 9 or 12 chicken macnuggets. She tells the server she wanted half of a dozen. The server scratches her head and says,'' We don't serve half of a dozen, we serve either 6, 9, or 12.''
I have a sister and her name is Dumb Dora. She's a sweet girl, just a bit stoopid. How dumb is she? Dora is so dumb that when she went clay pidgeon shooting she dragged along a huge bag of modeling clay.
Dora is so dumb when her teacher informed her that mushrooms were a fungi she started eating the specks of fungus from between her toes.
Dora is so dumb when the GP told her to open wide she stretched her arms open as wide as they could go.
Dora was going to New York City for holiday. Once there, she went to Hertz Rental Cars cause she reserved a car with them. The manager handed her the keys and Dora stood there starring at the steering wheel. '' Is there a problem, Miss,'' he asked. Dora says,'' Well, if you think I am moving the steering wheel to the other side, you're nuts.''
Poor Dora, she was in big financial trouble. She was told by CAB she had to do a bankruptcy. She went to her GP. Her GP asked her why did she come to him for a bankruptcy. Dora says,'' Well, I need a referral to the consultant before my bank ruptures.''
Dora bought a new hand mixer, the kind that can be used in a drinking glass. She poured in the milk and chocolate flavouring and noticed it was not frothing up. When I realised what the device was I asked her what in the world was she doing 'that' with it for. Dora says,'' Well, the lady at the Anne Summers party told me this milkshake thing will bring all the boys around like in that song.''
Dora went to her GP. She was pregnant...again. ''Dora,'' he said,''you must adore children. Even on the pill you still manage to get pregnant.'' Dora said,'' I do, but those tiny pills are so difficult to insert...think the patch may work better?''
How to Impress a Woman
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.
How to Impress a Man
Show up naked, with beer.
And the last one.lol
Dora was in ASDA cause she wanted to buy some groceries.She never bought anything cause she kept following the exit signs thinking it was leading her to the exotic food aisle.
Ok ok, but I did warn you they were stupid.[:D]
All I have left is my humour.
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http://www.debtdummybankruwoman.blogs.iva.co.uk.
