Stomach ulcer, stress????????

[jane.l]

Been to doctor’s today, he is pretty sure I have a stomach or duodenal ulcer! I have not been well for a while. Obviously we have been under enormous pressure here and at work, what with losing the house, I gave up work, we have just been made bankrupt!!!!!! aaaaaahhhhh


I have found myself becoming very stressed and worked up lately, over seemingly small things too!, so I suppose this is no surprise.

Even though we have got the bankruptcy day over with, I am still very stressed out about our OR interview on Friday, both cars will be going any day now and the fact that our landlord may not be too nice about us being bankrupt and give us notice to leave ( this is my main worry at the moment!) and also the fact that we just about, (barely) have enough to live on at the moment!!!!!!

So I am still not sleeping, I am hoping all this will pass as things settle down?????????? I cannot even think about Christmas, it sends me into a panic!!!

Sorry, moan over!!!!! (for now)

[ray_a]

Hi Jane

Sorry to hear your news and the pain you are going through.

I would not worry to much about the OR and just the answer his questions as best you can and be totally honest! They have heard it all before.

Talk to the OR about the cars as you are allowed a car to continue to use for work and business.

As for your tenancy- You are protected by law and as longing as you keep your rent then you are safe. However your Landlord can consider your position every 12 months so be mindful of the fact when you come to your first anniversary. However, if you look after the property and pay the rent why should he want to change tenants? The Government has a good web site dealing with tenancy so do go and have a look at it. I would go as far as to say why do you want to tell your Landlord that you are bankrupt unless there is something in the tenancy agreement.

As for Christmas-

For the food shop we save at Asda by putting some money away each week on their plastic card and we also save using Sainsbury's savings stamps. So if you put away £8 every week you will have about £120.00 to cover food and a few other bits. You could save a bit extra to cover presents for the children and who knows you could save a little for yourselves to have that little luxury and give it to yourselves as a present from each other!

Try and look at the upside and it will sort itself out!

Good Luck

[pippa]

Hi Jane

As you know I am only a couple of weeks a head of you, and also have a lot still to be settled in bankruptcy, and of course my home is the most important thing.
But I refuse to continue to be on the edge of a nervous breakdown. You have to find some peace of mind somewhere and that has to be in that when all of this is over you will be debt free and able to move on. Not saying its easy but you have to recognise that you have done the right thing and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I am sure you will feel better once you have had the OR's meeting, at least then you will have a better idea of things.
Look after your self,

Pippa

[aguise]

Hi Jane try not to worry, I know how difficult it must be for you. What will be will be and making yourself ill wont help. I made myself ill over it and am still struggling at times i tend to suffer the odd panic type attack . I am getting in a flap at going to the meeting tonight, so I well understand how the little things get to you.
You have all my best wishes and I hope when the meeting is over on friday you will feel better. Life will improve i am sure of that it just takes a while but you have done your best and that is all you can do.

Ang x

Please visit my blog at http://aguise.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[Skippy]

Jane, please try not to worry about the OR interview - it won't be as bad as you are expecting. Just remember they are people doing a job, and they are not there to make life difficult for you.

As Ray says, if you are looking after the property and paying your rent, why would your landlord want to get rid of you - he could end up with all sorts living there!

If you need a car for work make sure you tell the OR that at your interview. I told them that although I can use public transport to get to work it wouldn't get me there on time, and that as I work for a multi national company I am expected to work late should the need arise. If they agree that you need a car and they don't agree to you keeping yours they will give a you a certain amount to pay for a new car.

Please try and relax - I know this is easier said than done but you have done the hard bit by facing up to your debts and doing something about them.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[BrassicLintus]

Hi Jane, I have total sympathy for you. I went BR last Wednesday and have to wait 2 weeks for OR interview! Totally agony! Just walking around in a bit of a daze at the moment as it doesn't really feel like anything has changed, it feels like I've swapped one lot of worries (ie creditors) for another (the OR interview!). My emotions are up and down, one minute I'm looking forward to starting again, and yet at times i feel so low and guilty that I got into this mess in the first place. I've had a total nightmare of a year (broke my foot, house got hit by lightening, had builders from hell fixing said house - still not finished and in temporary accommodation!, parents moved abroad and I split up with my partner, oh and went BR!!) So look on the bright side - at least you're not me!!![:D] But seriously, it'll all be sorted soon and you'll know exactly where you stand and where you're heading. Good luck and sending you positive vibes!!

[ray_a]

I have been to an interview when others have lost companies and supported them in their position as a dirtector. As many have said the OR are generally understanding and as longing as you don't deceive them they are generally very understanding.

Although they belong to the Court service please do not worry they are there to get you to rebuild your lives and I have spoken to a few in my time and that is the message that comes strongly over!

[lily]

Jane

I think the thought of the OR is scary, I totally understand that but what will be will be.

Firstly, it really isnt suprising that you are feeling so ill and jumpy. Its a fact that what you have been through is quite devastating in psychological terms. We all have a hirachy of need and yours has disintergrated in front of your eyes, furthermore you are aware its your own doing (please dont take offence to this I dont mean I am blaming you for it). Add to this the guilt of what the kids have endured and you have a catastropic inpact on your life, psych, and financial affairs, I would guess there are more than a few marriage issues in this mix also. (just a guess)

Now, imagine that you are a little fish in a tank and someone puts their hand in and turns everything upside down, its a cloudy mess, right??? but it will settle, it may be different, but slowly it will settle and be clearer.

****e happens, I never thought I would get through last christmas, my world changed beyond recognition.

I just learned to stop worrying and start hoping, you really need to give yourself a break, you have come this far, it will settle down and you will be able to move on from this.

Take care of yourself.

lily