Some advice please...

[Skippy]

My IVA was approved at the first time of asking on 24th October, and it feels great to know that I have finally done something to get myself out of the mess I'm in. I was fairly calm all the way through the process, and only got a little bit stressed, even laughing at the situation as it was the only way I knew to deal with it.

However, in the last couple of weeks I've been feeling panicky and over whelmed by the whole situation, and can't imagine how I'm going to cope for the next 5 months, let alone 5 years! Has anyone else felt like that?

I am lucky as I have a great partner, and I know he will help me out in emergencies, but it's the day to day living I'm finding difficult. I didn't underestimate my expenses, and I am better off now than I was before, but I still panic - perhaps it's because once the money has gone, there is nothing else, no credit cards to bail me out!

It's a good feeling knowing that I have done something about the situation, that the little I have is actually mine, but I would be greatful to hear anyone else's thoughts.

[posuns]

I have yet to have my IVA accepted but in anticipation I have cut up all my cards so am getting used to having no money in the hope that it will be accepted.I agree that it must be difficult and 5 years will probably seem like an eternity,but the end is now in sight for you.

[freelili]

Hi Skippy

I think that when mess is there you kind of fight and survive through it. ie the door the phone the post.

When the solution comes its a relief but theres a catch up time from the stress. the panic continues for a while. Even though you didnt feel aware of it during the process.

Its the difference between existing and living and it takes time to adjust.

Good luck

LILY

[illihor]

It was always a nice feeling knowing that there were credit cards to be used to bail us out of any given situation. When that luxury is taken away it's quite a terrifying experience in a way.

Unfortunately there is no quick fix and I'm sure things do get easier and more routine like after a while. The "cheating someone out of their money" feeling is going to be around for a while I think though.

On the way to a brighter future....

[Skippy]

Thanks guys.

I know what you mean Illihor - if I ran out of money (ie every month!) and I wanted something I could still have it by putting it on my credit card. Now my plastic safety net has gone it's a bit daunting to say the least.

You're right Posuns - 5 years does sound like an eternity! We have decided that when this is over we are going to save up (I should be used to it by then!) and have the holiday of a lifetime. Good luck with your creditors meeting.

I hope things are going well for you Lily. I've been following your progress on here, and I've got everything crossed for you that things will be sorted out. You're right - while I had the IVA to concentrate on it was ok, now it's a case of oh well, this is life now!

I'll get through this blip (no choice really!), and I hope I haven't worried anyone else by posting this! I'm at home on my own today and had too much time to think. The thing is, most people don't know what it's like, which is why this forum is such a great idea.

[freelili]

Thanks Skippy

I am taking advice from money advice people at the moment and she moves in her own time. She is great but I cannot wait until its all over and feel my life is on hold at the moment. The dreaded post and phone calls get me down a bit but I try to focus on the future and a new life. It makes me feel good when I read of others success also.

I dont think you would have scared anyone it makes sense to be panicky for a while when you have been living on nerves. Its like being out of breath for a while when you have been running.

Its good to be able to share with others on this forum and it has been a lifesaver for me.

Really hope you calm down soon



LILY

[bluebelle]

Hi Skippy,

I can relate to what you are feeling. i only had my IVA approved last Friday and already i am on a rollercoaster of emotions...one minute i am reasonably happy...next minute i want to bawl my eyes out. i am absolutely petrified that something is going to happen....ie my car breaks down and i have no means at the moment to get it repaired...there is nothing to suggest that it might break down but it makes me paranoid....there is no plastic satefy net any more!!! i am constantly thinking what if this happens what if that happens..it is doing my head in! My first month on a budget hasn't been too bad..had £100 left over and this more than covers monthly budget for utility bills.....i would have had an extra £60 if it wasn't for the fact that i had to go and visit relatives for the weekend...so i think i will be ok...it is just trying to get a bit of money saved up for a 'just in case' fund....no chance of any spare in December either because of christmas.

[neverending]

Hi
Yes even after three years paying an IVA I still run out of money.I have been lucky in that I have a father in law who I can borrow off and to be honest without him I would be in a state.
I think that anybody contemplating an IVA should make sure that they have allowed enough to actually "live"on for the next five years,you can struggle for a few months but after that it becomes a bit of a nightmare and can be quite depressing.If married it will make or break you.Harsh words I know but it is reality.Be under no illusions

[kezza]

Hi,
I know what you mean Neverending! I had started to go down that ruite with my partner, but we have thrashed it out and he knows all about my situation and the path i have decided to take now.
I'm glad as he has turned out to be totally understanding and supportive of my situation [:x)]