Shock horror is there anything we can do ?

[kallis3]

Also, not everyone goes into the court - you sometimes sit outside and the papers are rubber stamped.

[Broke of London]

Rant away Gina! I know exactly what you mean about Mums. I can't tell mine as she can't afford to help but I would have the Devils own job convincing her to let me get on with it on my own. You have a lot of options available to you so getting over the shock and sitting down with clear heads and weighing up what's best for your family seems sensible. Lastly, you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about (I meant to say this earlier)!

[kallis3]

I couldn't tell my parents at all - they would probably disown me.

[Julie]

We're all different - I told my parents about hubby's IVA and it was difficult as his debts were not mine. His parents also found it hard to deal with. On the plus side, I have told my daughters everything about his debts and the struggle to get debt free, in the hope they will learn from his mistakes.

[kallis3]

My daughter and step children know of our problems but that's all. I keep it from everyone else.

My parents would not cope with it at all.

[Gina.gu]

Yes kallis mine is mortified and that's another consideration. She is worried about me, the neighbours the papers having my name in blah blah I got into this mess as we had our own business and two ex partners who left us a lot of debt then the business failed as my partners ex wife wanted this and that she previously didn't have a care for. Oh well..life eh. Was really trying to pay back what I could as we owe it really, daft the creditors opting for less. Having said that only 4 voted out of 30. Off to work soon so will think about it on my shift . Thanks again for helping me stay sane and not throw a sickie due to alcohol consumption

[Broke of London]

I had to tell my mum a little bit after we went shopping and I was having panic attacks up and down the Kings Road. Honestly, I was shaking, I couldn't breathe, I wouldn't look at or touch anything in the shops, my mum must have thought I was an absolute loon. I had to run into a Gap changing room to have a cry and when I came out my face was all red so she must have known and then i couldn't stop - little tears just kept slipping out and I pretended it was the wind! What a wally! I felt so guilty at spoiling our day out that I owed her an explanation and just said I had run up some debts and would be a bit short for a few years while I straightened myself out. That was enough for her to know. Really, I just wanted mum to make it all better like when you're a kid and they can fix everything.

[kallis3]

Don't worry about the papers - it doesn't tend to go in anymore, only in the London Gazette. Nobody need know unless you choose to tell them.

Hope work manages to keep your mind off things.

[kallis3]

I wouldn't even be able to tell my mother that BOL. Fortunately I'm very good at hiding my feelings and keeping things to myself.

[Julie]

Good for you for going into work..it will take your mind off things.

If you need support off forum, let us know. Some of us are on Facebook and we keep in touch via email too.

Mums are great, I can tell mine anything and hope my girls and grandaughters can do the same [:)]

[Broke of London]

Perhaps your new case manager can canvas support from the other creditors and resubmit the variation for reduced payments. It is a long shot but worth asking the question.

[kallis3]

My daughter knows she can tell me anything but unfortunately it's not the same with me and my mum.

It is good to be able to email off forum as you can ask things you may not want to ask on here or just have a rant or get some support.

Facebook is great for actually seeing what your virtual friends look like as well as being able to have a laugh.

[Broke of London]

Jan - that's tough but things were different back in the day weren't they? My grandparents struggled to raise a brood of eight and never had credit...my mum can remember bills being paid the day they came in as grandad couldn't stand even that small debt! You're so lucky to have such a good relationship with him indoors that you are always totally there for each other (that's how it seems from your posts).

[kallis3]

I'm an only child so there was never a struggle as such and I do remember having more materially than a lot of our neighbours. It was always paid for cash though. They still live in the same council house that we moved into when I was five.

Hubby and I get on pretty well really - married 24 years next Sunday and been together on and off for 32.

[Gina.gu]

how do u share your email with each other without the whole world knowing. At work now so I will read the replies tomorrow I hope thanks gina