You didn't let him down. This may sound harsh, and it's certainly not meant to, but he is an adult and you cannot force him to do anything he doesn't want to.
It's down to the doctors to diagnose and treat him, not you.
Please don't blame yourself, it's not your fault xxx
Ida you didn't let him down. No one could have foreseen what it was, he probably buried his head in the sand - I know I have terrible problems with getting my hubby to go there with his heart problems.
You need to be strong for him and the kids at the moment. Not easy I know.
Just come on here when you feel a weak moment coming on.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Oh (((((((((((((Ida)))))))))))
Please please please do not blame yourself. You have nothing to blame yourself for. You are a loving wife and mother and could not do anymore for your family.
I understand what you're going through and wish I could say something to take your pain away. The doctors and hospitals will do everything possible for your husband and I will be constantly willing you to get through this.
Please be kind to yourself, you are also suffering through this and need to make sure you look after yourself, not only for your husband and children, but for you too.
Please keep posting to let us know how you're doing, you are all in my thoughts.
Oh Ida,...Please don't ever feel like you are imposing, as the others have said, we're all here for you and care about you..Please feel free to add me as a forum friend if you would like to as well....I would be more than happy to talk off-line if it helps..
As I said in my previous post, I know exactly what you are going through having had a member of my family (my dad) who suffered with the same condition and it really is an awful time for you all,seeing that pain and suffering that your hubby is going through and you just feel so helpless with it all...But we all care Ida, we really do so post whenever you feel the need and we'll be here to support you through all of this..Also, just a thought but have you been in touch with Macmillan for support as they were absolutely fantastic with our family and they will help you in so many ways..
Please don't blame yourself for all of this, it's no-ones fault..As hard as it is, you need to keep strong for all of you and to have that strength to keep pushing for the treatment that your hubby needs right now, you're not meddling, you're doing exactly the right thing so you need to stop punishing yourself..Your hubby will have 'good days' and 'bad days',it really is a horrible time for you all right now,and he will need you to be strong for all of you.... Post whenever you feel the need and we will all be here for you...sending lots of hugs your way...take care..xx
IVA accepted 13/11/2008..17 payments down,55 to go..
Hi Ida - please try and seek other support from your local friends or any family members.
Also the McMillan organisation can often suggest help or provide help.
It certainly is not your faul and you must never think that. Keep being supportive and remember you have your kids to look after.
Please keep posting and if you need anything please let us know. Stop worrying about the IVA - that is the least of your problems to worryy about now. Give the time and attention to hubby and your little ones and see what other help can be made available from the health organisations suggested in previous posts.
We are all here for you day and night.
x
Last edited by David Mond on Sun May 10, 2009 7:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
Regards, David Mond, Insolvency Practitioner for over 46 years. Personal Insolvency Practitioner of the year 2012, Personal Insolvency Practitioner of the year finalist 2013 & 2014 awarded by Insolvency & Rescue Magazine and 2015 finalist for Personal Insolvency Firm of the Year.
I think my problem was I did indeed see the scale of his illness, worried over it, fretted. He did go to the doctor, first time he realised, around a year ago, he has kept on telling the doctors. They finally listened to him and here we are.
They left him, left him for a year to battle this, money worries and try to be normal for a year.
Now they left him an entire week with no contact at all because a secretary is on holiday.
Thanks for finding the link,Skip, I didn't know whether it was alright to post it, but there's a wealth of information on there which will help Ida enormously,I'm sure,as it helped us a lot, at the time[:)]..they are fantastic..
Ida, I really hope you have a better week ahead and manage to get a few things sorted..Like Julie says,make a list of all the questions that you need answering when you think of them,this will help you ...We're all here for you...take care..xx[:)]
Last edited by debtmountain on Sun May 10, 2009 3:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
IVA accepted 13/11/2008..17 payments down,55 to go..
I took the thinngy by the horns and tried to gather as much info on this cancer as I could. Basically, if you don't know which stage it's classified as you have no idea what you are dealing with. We have no idea what stage it is at.
I think you need to keep badgering them Ida. Make a nuisance of yourself so that they get fed up of you ringing.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
I would ring the consultant again and see if he can be seen urgently. Another option is to go to casualty and say he is in so much pain and how worried you are. Take care of yourselves.
IVA.co.uk The best place for debt advice. Thanks to Melanie Giles, David Mond, David and J (Elv5) Kallis, Dand, Skippy, Andy Davie
