Once you know more you will know exactly what you're facing, and can work out how you're going to deal with it together. Lots of love to both of you xxxxx
He is scared ida, scared of the unknown, scared of rocking the boat and jeopardising his treatment, scared of what is happening….you taking charge is scaring him, but you keep going hon, meddle all you need to, and hug him often. You and he both know that if it were the other way around he would do the same, but none of us like being out of control and until it is sorted that is exactly what it is for both of you.
A friend of mine is going through chemo at the moment, and what has helped her cope with all the scary thoughts from the very beginning is to set herself goals. As she reaches one she sets the next, it really is a day at a time situation, and if that turns into an hour at a time, then go with it.
As Skippy says, once you know what it is you are facing, you will be in a better place to know what to do.
Thinking of you and sending all our love
xx
Never take a moment or a loved one for granted in the blink of an eye they may be lost forever.
I mean incredibly ill, in constant pain, despite the morphine. So so thin.
I spent some more of the IVA money, well in fairness it's our money for the moment, payment for next month suspended by Payplan, bought him some clothes that fit, XXsmall shirt and 30 waist jeans. Got him a belt because it was nice, and I liked it and he'd like it.
He has to pull the belt tight to keep the jeans up.
Hi Ida, It may be worth you giving your gp a ring and at least get some advice just to put your mind at rest and also if there is any help that can be given to ease your husbands discomfort. We are all thinking of you, take care of all of yourselves.
IVA.co.uk The best place for debt advice. Thanks to Melanie Giles, David Mond, David and J (Elv5) Kallis, Dand, Skippy, Andy Davie
Ida - I have just read this post all the way through. I am so very sorry you and hubby are going through this and no words I can say will help, but we're all here to give you support.
If you want to talk off line or meet up ( I'm in Wales) then please let me know. We'll get you through this as best we can xx
Julie, I look here and cry, people are so kind, YOU are so kind, I think I live about 30 miles from you.
t is not fair I impose on people.
Me, I am ....................luiving my worst nightmare, if it could be me, it would be, he is the better person, I am not bad or anything, just he always knows what to do, how to be, he's perfect.
Me, I try, but I'm not.
(and at this point, I better stop, I can act the part around the kids, at Tesco, at the doctors..................in reality I am drowning and this is NOT the place to have a breakdown, not over this.)
You aren't imposing so please don't ever think that you are. The people who post on this forum are lovely, and I've made friends who I know will be friends for life.
You say you can act the part in Tesco, at the doctors etc but you've got to let it out somewhere and if you want to do that here then don't worry about it, there will always be someone here with kind words and a virtual hug.
There are people who post on here who can say things far better than me, but what I'm trying to say is that we are here for you and will do all we can to support you xxx
I titally agree with everything Skip says. Don't ever think your imposing these offers of support are made from the heart.
I can't say I know how you feel, but I know what it is to love someone and I know these kind people would /have been here for me. Its what we do and you're one of us [;)]
30 miles is nothing is it..I wouldn't offer if I didn't mean it. If you'd rather talk off forum add me as a frugal friend and contact me that way.
You sound like a real brave strong lady, but you need support too [:)] xx
Dear Ida, I did speak to the surgeon who looked after me about your worries - now I don't know if this is possible for you but he said it can be done on the NHS. He said the Royal Marsden Hospital in London is the finest in the western world for the type of cancer your husband is suffering from - this surgeon is a consultant there (breast cancer)- whether you can arrange that with your domestic arrangements I do not know - he also said the Christies hospital in Manchester has a national reputation for the treatment your husband is seeking. I wished I lived near you but I am about 250 miles away. J
Ida, having been through very serious illness myself I may be able to help you through it - if you wish for my telephone number then Melanie will give it to you - I can't post it on here. David has been through (with me) what you are going through with your dear husband. If we can help we will - just say. I you do - day or night - it will not matter to us. J
Ah bless you - you are strong and a true Mum for putting the little ones first. Just remember you have to look after yourself or you'll be no good to anyone.
I'm about most of tomorrow so I'll look out for your posts xx
