Puts things into perspective

[Dee]

I got a call yesterday morning from my Mum who lives 200 miles away to rell me that my brother had taken an overdose and was in my local hospital.

I haven't see him for over a year and we weren't brought up together but he is still my baby brother (not quite a baby he's 28). He had a really bad childhood with my Mum abandoning him when he was 2 then just turning up when he was 6. She never had any maternal feelings for him and so he was in and out of care. His dad (mums 2nd husband - she's had 5) died when he was 17 after years on drugs.

She told me that he had recently become homeless after a relationship breakdown and was kipping on a friends setee. I went to see him in hospital and because I knew that he had nothing I bought him new toiletries, pj's etc - I wanted him to feel like he belonged to someone.

When I saw him it broke my heart. There he was this "hard" young lad covered in tattoos laid in bed staring into space and looking totally lost. He didn't respond to me at all and although physically he is fine I knew that he really needed help. I just held him and kissed him and told him I loved him. The only thing he managed to mutter was that he felt that he had no one. I didn't want to cry but I couldn't stop myself and then I looked and he had tears rolling down his face.

I asked him to come and stay with me when he came out even though all I can offer him is a couch, 2 warring kids and a stroppy teenager. He didn't seem to take anything in so I called the hospital last night and told them that I wanted to offer him a short term home.

He text me last night and said he would like to come stay so I have taken the day off work and I am going to collect him from the hospital this afternoon. He will be visited everyday by a psychiatric?? nurse. I have explained to the kids that uncle is feeling sad and that he needs lots of love to make him happy again.

It may be a little stressful but I want to look after him and I'd be more stressed if I didn't know where he was.

Just as subject heading says it "puts things into perspective"

Dee

[Viki.W]

Dee, that is awful but you are doing a very great thing by taking him in, I guess maybe he just needs to belong to a family, have someone close to him. Good luck but don't forget to think of yourself and your family too. Viki X

[Lisa2009]

How lovely of you Dee.
Your brother is very lucky that he still has you xxxx

[Dee]

Thanks but its not all selfless I have to admit doing this for him makes me feel good - that sounds awful doesn't it!

I'm lucky as well that my husband is accepting him into our home.

Dee

[Skippy]

That's so sad. I really hope it works out for you all Dee - he's lucky to have a sister like you x

[Dee]

Don't know whether its the prozac or what but considering I have a child off school with an eye infection, I'm trying to complete my bankruptcy forms, I'm just about to set off to pick my brother up, I've got his liaison officer coming at 3pm and the estate agent is coming at 3pm to value the house I am feeling relatavely calm!

[debbiw]

Oh Dee, I'm sat at work, and I'm nearly in tears ! Your story is sad, but what an fantastic star you are. I hope your brother will be ok, just make him feel really loved, good luck x I wish i had a big sister as good as you x

[chris.g]

Dee, what a sorry tale. I do hope your brother gets the help he so clearly needs. Living with your family, whether it be kipping on the settee or not, will surely show him that he is loved and wanted.
I firmly believe that we are, emotionally, a product of our upbringing and childhood. Some people do not realise how fragile a child is and the effect that things have on them, even into adulthood. These emotions can stay with us for the rest of our lives and affect the way we live our lives and interact with others.
He is lucky to have a sister like you, and you are lucky to have this chance to prove how much he is loved.
I hope everything goes well and pass on my best wishes,
xx

[angela18]

hope everyhting works out ok for you and your brother.. I think just sometimes knowing somebody cares is better that anything a doctor can do. hopefully you and your kids will give him everything he needs to pick himself up!!

[aguise]

Dee what a good sister you are. I truly understand your situation and it is a big step to undertake, but it is what he needs most of all. Hopefully a stable home for a while and your family support will speed his recovery and get him back on his feet. So sad but a happy ending I am sure.

ang x

[ladyc]

What a sad but beautiful tale. I do hope everything works out you both. How sad that he has had such a loveless life and I'm sure it won't be all plain sailing but hang in there.He'll soon realise how lucky he is now to have a sister like you.
It certainly does put a bit of debt into perspective doesn't it.
All the Best.

[emma_t]

Dee thats very selfless of you and your husband to offer you brother a place to stay with all you are presently going through.

I really hope it all works out as it seems you have both suffered lack of family when growing up. It sounds like he has had a rough time so some stability in his life should do the world of good.

I don't think it sounds awful at all to say it makes you feel good to be caring for him, I think that sounds lovely[:)]

Wish you well and love to you all
Emmaxx

[Dee]

Thank you to everyone who has posted messages of support.

He is here now and although we had a very difficult meeting with the crisis team he is in better spirits. We have made an action plan and I have arranged a couple more days off work to spend with him. My other sister has persuaded my mum to take some responsibility and so she is coming up next week to take him to her house for a break while he gets used to his medication.

I'll keep you posted, its nice for me to have someone to talk to about it [:)]

Dee

[Mrs Positive]

What a story, this really does put things in perspective. How lucky is he to have a sister as loving and as caring as you.

I hope your brother goes from strength to strength and this tale has a happier ending with a brighter future.

All the very best to you all
xx[:)]

[emma_t]

I am glad that you will have a bit of help in looking after him as it must be a strain as you have your family to think of also.

Glad he is feeling more positive, sounds like he needs love and stability to get back on track.
Emma xx