1) Waiter to sun-tanned hotel guest: "Would you like tongue, sir?"
"No. I never eat anything from an animals mouth."
"How about two boiled eggs, sir?"
2) Two little lads outside a nudist colony. Alfie climbs the fence to peep inside. His friend below says, "Are they men or women?"
"I don't know," says Alfie. "They haven't got any clothes on."
3) The new bride in her honeymoon negligee looks out of the bedroom window at the Illuminations. "Blackpool Tower isn't as big as I thought it would be either," she says, wistfully.
4) Angry doctor to none too bright nurse (probably from Essex): "To put a patient on a bedpan - you lift him by the buttocks, NOT THE WAY YOU DID IT."
5) Woman Police Constable to drunken man: "Anything you say will be taken down!"
"Knickers," was the reply.
Have a great day xxx
The best psychological health comes from admitting your faults and recognizing they're caused by someone else.
Wizzzard xxx
