Well done bluelagoon. I told my Mum last weekend. She was a bit suspicious as I had changed my number, didn't have a chequebook and paid for everything in cash (very unlike me!!). She didn't ask how much debt we had and I won't be telling her. I'll just make up a figure low enough so I know she won't worry.
Well done from me as well - I wish I had the courage to do it but unfortunately I haven't and they would be so disappointed in me - I'll let sleeping dogs lie for now.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Well done on telling your parents, I know some do and some don't and it has to be right for you. My mum has known we've been in trouble for some time as she's tried to help us out in the past, so although she was initially shocked about applying for an IVA and tried to discourage me at first, she's finally realised it's the right thing for us and I feel good that she also won't be struggling trying to help us dig ourselves out!
"It is never too late to be what you might have been"
Fiona
hi, i felt so embarrassed/ashamed at the level of our debt,it came as a shock(hubby had cards&loan i didn't know about). my parents ended up saving us as it would have been BR without their help with a F&f IVA.
they were very shocked but have been so supportive & kind,it's touched me deeply. holding something like this as a secret can be stressful at a time when already coping with so much. big hug x
Nothing stays the same...everything changes..hang on in there!
Well done bluelagoon.
I told my parents only a couple of weeks ago. I broke down and cried like a baby! The floodgates opened and all the anxiety and stress I had been feeling over the last few months just seemed to fade. I also stopped just short of telling them exactly how much we owe but they know it's a fairly sizeable amount.
They were both great,gave me a bit of a telling off for not letting them know sooner but they were glad that we had taken steps to sort things out. I hated keeping it from them. I have always told them everything, no matter how difficult it might have been and the weight that has been lifted since letting them know has been immense. No matter how old you are, sometimes all you need is a cuddle from your Mum and you just instantly know everything will be ok!
I was glad that I had hubbys support and my daughter and step kids know of the situation. That's as far as it goes though - I wish I could tell my parents but they are of the generation where if you couldn't afford it, you didn't buy it. They wouldn't even take out a mortgage and still live in rented accommodation. I'd hate to upset them now.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
You could get the house signed over to you under a Deed of Trust, in that your parents would still have a beneficial interest in the property. If this is being done to avoid future inheritance tax or care home costs, then this is not likely to be helpful but I would avoid taking a transfer of the asset whilst you are in debt as this could put their home at risk.
As with anything major like this, good legal advice is essential for both sides.
Hi, thanks again everyone for your support, think I'm actually feeling more relieved as the days go on, saw my parents yesterday for the first after telling them and they do seem ok with it, they did say they dont want to know how much we owe but also wanted to know was it less than 5K cos they would be able to help with that and I just left it that its more than that. Think it was also put into perspective cos my 3yr old ended up in A&E yesterday after a fall (he's ok!!) kind of makes u think at the end of the day its only money there are more important things to worry about!
Hi Melanie
Thanks for your comment and advise, they plan to speak to their solicitor re their will and property so they will tell him about the IVA and see what he advises, I have told them that I'd prefer if they left my name out of everything until the IVA finishes cos I'd hate if they were forced to release equity or sell their house. Just hope the solicitor knows enough about IVA's and advises them correctly!
Thanks again
