Jane I've just had another look at the expenditure that you sent to the OR and for what it's worth I agree with Melanie that I don't think that there will be much adjustment from the OR. The only thing I'm not sure about is the cat litter (the OR may say that it should come out of your food and grocery allowance) and pet insurance (I've heard this isn't always allowed).
The OR wants your husband to work, so I'm sure you will be allowed to keep a car. The criteria for keeping a car is needing one for your work, not just for your convenience, so from what you've said it sounds as though your husband has a case for keeping one.
The nil tax code lasts until the end of the current tax year, unless you change jobs during that year in which case it will revert to normal. I never received an NT code as I went BR on 29th March and it was too close to the end of that tax year and wasn't set up in time.
I'm sorry, I don't know about the tax credits.
What I would say is there is no point in worrying (easy for me to say I know!) as it is obviously making you ill. I'm sure the OR will be reasonable, and if not, ask to speak to someone further up the food chain. At the end of the day material things don't matter - what does matter is your family and your health.
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