Firstly I can’t believe I’ve only just found this forum and be able to use it for help and support, reading some of the similar things that people have gone through is really helpful!
Im just coming up to the end of my 3rd year of my IVA and suddenly it just feels like im going no where fast, the thought of 2 more years of restrictions, tight budgeting and putting pressure on my relationship, just horrifies me!
I constantly feel like im putting pressure on my partner who works really hard so we can live and try and enjoy life a little, he's recently taken on extra work so we can finally go away. He has a very stressful job and I feel like all I do is add pressure and stress to him by pushing all the extras in life onto him, it just makes me feel so guilty and sometimes like im such a burden on him, I feel he would be better off without me hanging round his neck like some big lead weight he has to drag around.
He never complains, never asks for anything and never intentially makes me feel this way, I think it’s just something within me that’s slowly eating me away.
But I guess this is something very common? Well at least I hope it is. We talk often about how it will be in 2 years time, with having more money and not having the tight restriction nor the need to provide rational and evidence for every penny spent.
Sorry to rant people, somehow doing this is quite therapeutic. When I speak to people about this they say ' I know how you feel' when in fact I don’t think they really do. It’s good to have a place to vent with people who do actually know what you’re going through!
Anywho thanks for letting me rant
Best wishes
Arty
)X(
IVA completion and certificate received 08/10/2012!!!
Hi there and welcome to the forum, it is a common feeling, I often feel that my husband goes without for me to have things, he has a uniform at work but I have to buy my clothes, he likes his fishing but never buys any new equipment but I continue to buy make up. He never moans.
You're through the biggest bit of your IVA and the next two years will hopefully glide past for you without any hiccups. I hope you continue to post as we do all support each other. xx
IVA final payment left the bank on the 26th January 2013...looking forward to a debt free future.
wow cant believe the reponse already, thanks so much!
Ive just found my way to the 'success story' section, its great to see poeple make it throught eventually, yours Helen is really inspirational, i slowly slipped away dreaming of that day when the final payment leaves the bank lol!!
Ohh and dont worry, i certainly will be hanging around now ive found this place, like i said i didnt even know it existed!
Such a great community1
best wishes
Arty
x
IVA completion and certificate received 08/10/2012!!!
Glad you found the forum. It’s not all plain sailing once your IVA has been accepted but as Lesley mentioned you have done the hardest part. Things may be a struggle at times but at least you are paying an amount that you can afford and I hope you are not receiving calls/letters etc from your creditors!
Hang in there and you will be DEBT FREE before you know it!
I DO know how you feel. Like you I'm 35 months in. It was incredibly hard at the beginning but I've got used to the lower budget, I even manage to save a tiny bit each month for emergencies. But it still feels hopeless for the next 2 years..
My initial payment was £760 a month, that has now been increased to £1297. When the interest rates go up again it will have to be reduced..
When it's all over I fully intend to start saving most of the payment. I will never get myself into this again...
Hang on in there...the light at the end is getting closer....
Hi all, I am new here too having found the forum this weekend - which was very black for me! Arty, you've already sent me a really supportive message - and at least you are more than half way through your "time". I have just finished all my paperwork and am just about to post it.....
It does sound as if your partner is amazing - he wouldn't have stuck around if he wasn't going to support you. It sounds as if everybody gets a bit of a wobble from time to time. I keep thinking my life will be over but really deep down I know its the beginning of a better time. I'm approaching 40 this year, have no partner and have just had my appendix out so plenty of time to reflect.. probably a good thing - finally managed to come to terms with my total iresponsibility with my finances. I think you're all pretty amazing to get through this and come out the other side. The sooner I get sorted the sooner I can too. Can somebody tell me just how hard it really is to live day to day with an IVA? I don't have anybody else to look after but do you ever stop thinking about it or is it always at the back of your mind?
Keep smiling Arty - you sound like you are doing really really well! [8D]
Firstly well done for taking control - you should pat yourself on the back for that as it's probably the hardest part.
Yes life in an IVA can be hard - there will be months when the money runs out too soon and months when an 'emergency' means you worry sick about how to pay for it... However... my life before the IVA was a constant robbing of peter to pay paul, worrying about what would happen as the credit ran to its limit, knowing that even if we found a way to keep paying the minimum payments it would still take us about 20 years to pay off, and ultimately the dreaded phone calls when we started to miss payments we just couldn't afford.
Knowing that this tight budget time is only short (roll on July 2014 for us!), and that we are now using our own money to live, and that the debt is slowly going away instead of growing is priceless.
We couldn't have carried on as things were - now we are learning to budget, learning that we don't have to have what the neighbours have, and most of all knowing that by the time our daughter turns 8 we will debt free and can take her on all the hols and treats we never thought we'd be able to is wonderful!
Life in an IVA is hard... but it is far easier in my opinion than juggling huge debts with no end in sight - and its only temporary and it teaches you so much - you start to appreciate small things - watching the pennies so that the pounds take car of themselves really does work!!!
Only you can decide what is the right solution for you - but from our point of view life in an IVA is certainly better than the nightmare before it [:)] and the Forum is such a life support too so you'll always have access to advice if you need it.
"Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent." - Jean Kerr
IVA approved Aug 2008 - 6 year term - last payment made 6 Oct 2014. CC received 14 Nov 2014.
Hi Arty well done for getting so fsr in your IVA over half way there. Yes it is difficult at times and I remember clearly not having enough money to buy my Grandchildren an ice cream from the van--how I cried when I got home. You will find this forum so supportive I too only found this forum in year 3, I wish I had found it sooner. I finished paying my IVA in April this year so there is an end I have learnt such a lot being in the IVA what is important to me what I really need to live the joy of answering the telephone or opening mail with out the fear of creditors wanting their money.
Try to keep positive and think of what you have already achieved.
Jan
Nothing you can buy feels as good as not being in debt.
its hard on an iva and the luxurys are small..and the hardest part is folk dont know why you havent got any money ..we both go with out for our childs sake.Its been a huge lesson to us.Weve both said we will never go down this rd again.good luck to any new starters
