My Debt Hell!

[buttercup]

Well here it goes I have had top pluck up courage to write this .
I have been following the forum for a bit & I have to say a big thank you to Debbie who after reading her advice to another member about telling her husband encouraged me to do the same.
I am only telling my story in-case there are any others out there who were in my situation. I have carried this now for 2 years & it has at times been unbearable.

I am ashamed as unlike others knew exactly where all my debt has come from unfortunately. It all started a long time ago when I started trading the stock market. Obviously firstly I started small but got bigger as time went on and had my first real shock whilst trading oil. Wham a huge loss I could not sleep for the feeling of sheer sickness but of course my trusty old credit cards were there to plunge some more money into my trading account so I could wait for the trade to come back to me. Of course they never do. This went on until I had to take a 2nd mortgage out. But it did not quite cover all my losses so I carried on just to try to re-coup a few grand. That was January 2007 a year later & I have debts again on credit cards of 100K and loans of approx 40K.

I am so racked with guilt it is making me ill! My hubby has been supportive but that almost makes the guilt worse. The kids all just adults are appalled at what I have done but to them it is only money after all they say, they do not really understand the seriousness of it. Thank God. They still say what the heck we still love you even if we do think you have gone mad. My hubby is still in disbelief & shock!

I would like to say I feel relief at stopping trading which I did late December but I dare not feel relief as I do not yet feel that my guilt should be so easily relieved. I can honestly say I am not addicted as I dropped it like a hot brick & not thought about it since. I would never gamble on a poker site or any other kind of internet site. That is where trading is different as it becomes your job therefore you do not really class it as a form of gambling but it is. I was not addicted but obsessed with trying to make up my losses and pay my creditors. I never thought it would come to this

As most of us debtors we are usually quite smart people who have done something stupid. I have always run my own businesses successfully then trading came along I really wish I had never started. I do not think it was the thrill as much as the enjoyment of the knowledge of all the analysis that I enjoyed.

The one thing that annoys me is that although I am 100% accountable for what I have done I wish the credit cards companies had flagged me as a potential risk instead they just kept increasing my limits. They could see where all the money was going into a spread-betting company every day/week sometimes thousands at a time. Also the spread-betting companies should also flag risky customers like I was. But of course that is where they all make their money from. I can only see debts like mine growing as people use there credit cards more for online gambling. All it would have taken would have been a phone call from the credit cards & banks to have stopped me as I was just waiting to get caught really.

Well I have taken the first step & contacted Melanie’s office & spoke to Tina who has truly been great. I felt like a child who has just been taken by the hand to help & lead me forward. Tina has really perked me up & I feel so much better for speaking to her.

This forum is a god send!

[MelanieGiles]

That's a great inspiring post showing your first stages of the journey to debt freedom. You ought to transpose it to a Blog as more people will be able to benefit from this into the future, as you yourself have benefitted from using the forum recently.

[size5]

Brilliant post.

People are human and we ALL make mistakes, admitting the problem and taking steps to rectify the damage can only be a good thing for all concerned.

Good luck.

[buttercup]

I certainly hope it will help others if they are in the same situation. As it is hell at the time. I do now think I have taken the first step to resolving the situation

[buttercup]

Thanks Size 5. I have resigned myself to the fact that I have at least 12 weeks of sorting out an IVA so I am making it a 12 week transformation. I intend to lose 1 stone get fitter physically, mentally & emotionally. I have always been a very postive person and I am sure I will be again!

You can not keep good people down I will get through this and be a better person .

Anything you can conceive you can acheive. I can conceive a life debt free therefore I will acheive it. (with the help of melanies team of course)

[debbiw]

Oh Buttercup, I'm so glad i have helped you in some way. At least now you have taken the first steps to becoming debt free! Everyone makes mistakes, so please try not to feel guilt. The most important thing is that you are doing something about it, and you should be proud of yourself for that. Melanie and her team will take good care of you, please keep us all updated x

[louisa.s]

What a positive outlook you have got to your situation and I do hope that you maintain it as it will get you through any tough times.

It is a great post which also demonstrates the support of your family and the importance of the forum in helping you to be able to tell your story.

I wish you all the best of luck in your IVA path and it would be nice if you would keep us all posted from time to time and as Melanie suggested pop that post down as a blog!

Lou

[buttercup]

Thanks Louisa

Have started a blog with the above & will update as I progress as I expect there will be low times ahead no doubt.

This forum has been great so much info but also lots of support from people in the same situation. Well probably not as mad as me but half mad anyway.

[Lisa2009]

Theres plenty of us on this forum to pick you up on your bad days so dont be afraid to share it.

Most of us have been there and the support from other forum members goes a long way in making you see that things arent as bad as they seem and they will get better.

[buttercup]

Thanks Mrs Skint.

I have never been on another IVA forum as this fills all my needs. I am so glad I found it.

I have just started defaulting so I expect I will be getting calls & letters shortly.

[Lisa2009]

Dont be scared off by the letters, just tell them that you are adressing the situation and have an IP looking into an IVA for you.
Have faith in Melanie and her team.
Theres a lot on this forum who wish they had known about Melanie before entering into their IVAs.

[buttercup]

I do feel lucky to have found her. I have only spoke to Tina so far who was fantastic.

[Skippy]

Good luck Buttercup x

[e.h]

Hi Buttercup - what a brilliant post. Well done for starting the ball rolling.

You will have bad days, we all do occasionally, I have had a bit of a downer for a few days over the last week, I just put all my thoughts in a post on this wonderful forum and sure enough, I had some very lovely, inspiring replies. I can honestly say though, the relief from the anxiety, fear and stress that will come with tackling your debt problem will far outweigh any dark, gloomy days you may have in the future. Just remember, you are not alone.

Wishing you all the very best for your journey,

Liz

[buttercup]

Thanks for your replies I know that when I have a bad day it will be made better by members on this forum. It is great to chat as over the last few years trading i was stuck to a laptop for up to 16 hours a day sometimes and never saw my friends & family much even lost contact with quite a few.So now re-building relationships.
Plus not trading I now actually get to go outside when it is light!! I really appreciate that how nice & simple is that.