Moan

[Beechy]

Hi Dee
You have come this far so go for it and let me know how you get on. Make sure you get a face to face to appointment to chat about the detail.
Take as much info as possible with you as possible, (3 months payslips 3 months bank statements, all creditor details statements etc, copies of recent household utility bills). I know this sounds like a chore finding all this but it will help yo when you chat to the ip. If you need any further info let me know

Beechy

[Dee]

Beechy Thank you so much for your words of encouragement I'll let you know how I get on.

[MelanieGiles]

Hi Dee

Just to clarify that unless you are self-employed you do not require a face to face meeting with the IP, but most good ones would recommend this. I have a lot of clients who are happy to deal with us over the phone or via telephone - so just go with whatever suits you.

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

To have me propose an IVA for you, please visit:
http://www.melaniegiles.com/ivaEnquiry.asp

See customer feedback at:
http://www.iva.com/iva_companies/IVA_Advice_Bureau.asp

[Dee]

Hi Melanie I have no doubts in my mind that it will be you I will be contacting tomorrow. I'm not self employed so I am happy to handle this over the phone. Still trying to convince my husband that this is the only way to go but he doesn't understand these things which means he leaves everything to me (except the spending) Unfortunately this leaves him to believe that because I knew what was going on its all my fault.

I'll keep trying to get through to him.

Thanks again and I will keep everyone posted.

[Skippy]

Good luck today Dee. You'll be in safe hands with Melanie x

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[Dee]

I know this might seem like a really silly question but when calculating exactly how much you owe do you use the balnce or redemption figure of the loans.

[Martin2011]

Not a silly question at all Dee and one worth getting the right answer to. I think you'll find that the figure creditors will accept is the original amount borrowed, plus the interest you signed up for over the whole loan period, minus the amount you have repaid to date. If that's wrong then I'm going to have to take some advice myself, as nearly 20k of my IVA debt owed was loan interest.

Very best of luck going forward, you've definitely chosen the right IP to approach!!

Martin

[Skippy]

I agree with Martin. When I entered my IVA I had to put the total amount owed, including interest.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[Dee]

Thanks for the advice that makes sence. I have filled in my details on Melanies website and although there is a long way to go I already feel quite giddy and I slept much better last night.

Just completed my first budget shop and it wasn't as bad as I thought. Perhaps if I had been doing this for the last few years I wouldn't be in this mess. My debt has been a slow process with only 1 holiday abroad (my Dad does live in spain so paid for accomodation)and and old banger for a car and a donated motorbike for my husband. We rarely buy new clothes for ourselves and dont smoke or go out. my situation has been totally caused by mismanagement of money and not adjusting standard of living when the 2 youngest came along.

And to think I worked in a bank for 9 years. What is it they say about builders/decorators own homes!!

[cat 1]

this site doesn't judge people so no need to feel the need to justify what/how your debt as occured.Let us know how you went on.Good luck.Cat1[:)]

[Dee]

Just thought I'd give you an update. I have been in contact with Melanie's team. I spoke to a lovely lady called Tina who went through my situation with me. She was very thorough which was just aswell because I had under estimated my expenditure by quite a long way ie not taking into consideration car maintenance and other incidentals. She was very honest about my options and in fact sought advise on whether my husbands proposal was something that they would look at as he owes 57% to Northern Rock. Any way she got back to me and said that it would be agreed that they would go ahead. So will speak to her again on Monday with more info on the loans etc.

I have sucessfully open a new bank account with Alliance & Leicester. I opened it on the internet on last week and have already received a cheque book and a list of my direct debits to confirm for switching.

My daughter has been worried about her chances of getting a student loan being effected by our potential IVA. She called the Learner Services people who advised that it wouldn't be a problem & that she may even receive a higher maintenance grant.

My husband is just about getting his head around it all although if the IVA proposal isn't accepted I have a feeling that the alternative of Bankruptcy will be very difficult for him.

I should maybe explain something about my husband which may sometimes explain his quite harsh treatment of me. When he was 16 he suffered quite a severe head injury which changed his personality completely. I didn't know him back then but his mum says that her son died that day and she had to learn to love her new son. He doesn't cope with stress very well and is very reliant on routine and feeling secure.
He doesn't have friends as he doesn't seem to benefit from them and is not tolerant of other people. He also very often says very hurtful things a bit like a child would and ultimately there is always someone to blame when things go wrong (usually me cause I'm the only person he lets in) I love him dearly but had a childhood with very little love and thats all I've ever wanted but he's not always capable.

I really am not the kind of person to let these things get to me and although I find it very easy to talk about these things I always tell it like its happening to someone else.

I'm a fighter and this issue with money certainly isn't the worst thing I've ever had to go through in my life.

Thats enough of the deep stuff I am feeling positive and even if the IVA thing doesn't work then we will just try something else. If nothing else I have found this forum and a sense of community which is sadly lacking in society these days.

[rachellxx39]

Dee hope eveything is ok with your hubby . Is he feeling better now ? My hubby exactly the same gets very stressed. Just wanted to see how you were getting on .

[Dee]

Thanks Rachell

Most people don't even know that he has these problems and as they have been going on for the last 20 years we have all just learnt to accept and love him even when he doesn't make that easy.

I'm very good at winning him around and have had to become quite manipulative over the years but everyone knows that I have his best interests at heart and would never do anything to hurt him. I encourage him every day and he often says that he would be nothing without me.

You know when all this money thing comes out in the wash I will become much more light hearted - everyone knows me as a bubbly person who sees the best in every situation. i hope this forum soon sees this side to me too!

Do you have any tips on how to deal with stressed husbands? (Keep it clean)!

[Skippy]

Dee, your post brought tears to my eyes, and I really wish both of you well. You both deserve a big chunk of luck after everything you have gone through. You are in good hands with Melanie and her team.

I have been told the way to a man's heart is through his stomach (I can't confirm that as I can't / don't cook!), so how about cooking him a nice meal with a bottle of wine? It doesn't have to be expensive, and it might help to relax you both.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is the present - a gift to make the most of.

View my blog at http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[Dee]

Hi Skippy thanks for that You're right the way to his heart is through his stomach and we could definately do with spending some time together. You know most nights he goes to bed the same time as the kids and I sleep on the settee because I dont like to disturb him with my insomnia. He is very loved up today so you have inspired me to make that extra effort with him tonight.

Thanks again
Dee