I take comfort from this forum

[Shining]

When I'm feeling as down as I do now re my debts, I log on and read and read and read. Today I'm hoping for an answer as to whether a proposal will go forward for me in respect of an IVA. It's been 4 weeks now and I don't feel any further forward than when I first started. I have gathered every piece of requested information and been told to hang onto it etc., 3 house valuations done now. I am not sleeping, up everyday at 4am and never think of anything but this debt problem. Ended up shouting at the family last night and then apologising because they left a door open whilst heating was on! I really do not want to go BR and would love to do an IVA as I feel it really is the way forward for me. When the phone calls start, I know I won't be able to cope and end up paying them something, which is why time is of an essence to me. I realise they are not just working for me I'm a case, but I think whilst I'm in this state of mind which hopefully will pass soon and I will become positive again, I need this forum. Thanks to all x

[lizziej]

Don't feel down and miserable! I too felt the same way and could think of nothing else other than the mess I was in - that was until my IP started to ring me daily and speak to me to make sure I was ok! I had a very friendly IP who supported my husband and I right the way through.
Being debt is not good - however the sense of relief when the IVA is approved is enormous and you can truly begin to see the start of a new future! I will be paying my second month's contributions soon - just another 58 to go! Seems alot but it isn't - those adjustments you have to make, the shopping around for best bargains can all be fun to do - you can still have a social life - just not as exotic. You can still go on holiday - just no more all inclusive holidays for a while - we've bought a tent and all the equipment and have started going camping - so relaxing (and alot cheaper!!!).
Think to the future - gain the support of the family and your closest friends - they are they strength that you need to help you get through the time.
We were lucky our IVA was all set up from start to agreement in less than 6 weeks - why others take so long I do not know - all I know is daily contact and returning of relevant paperwork was the key to our quickness and I am so grateful for the speed my IP worked - my worries were soon transferred across to other things!

Keep positive and think future - I am already looking forward to my next abroad holiday in 2012 - especially as I will know I can pay for it with my own money and not with credit ! Never again !

[MelanieGiles]

Please remember that voluntary arrangements do take a while to be presented - if they are done properly, and that your IP is working as fast as they can to get you an appropriate result. It is probably better for you to speak to them directly about any concerns that you may have, and also to understand the process and timescale involved. I usually quote clients four to six weeks from receiving a full set of documents, and this is certainly not an unreasonable timescale.

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

To have me propose an IVA for you, please visit:
http://www.melaniegiles.com/ivaEnquiry.asp

See customer feedback at:
http://www.iva.com/iva_companies/IVA_Advice_Bureau.asp

[Shining]

You're right Melanie and I'm wrong I know to be so hasty, but this feeling of despair is not going away and I'm sat here in tears, don't know what I expected to read when I logged on but I think in my circumstance, I know what to do deep down and just can't cope right now so maybe now is not the best time to consider an iva. I honestly do ring for updates at least twice a week but either get to speak to nobody or am told to ring back when this has happened or that has happened, I have everything in hand ready to send but am always told hang on to it, I'm not even sure that anyone is going to act for me as yet. Not to worry, I will sort it, I guarantee that. I do have a certain amount of equity not enough to pay off my creditors but enough to make a difference in the amount owing. I cannot remortgage due to not enough income. I'll speak to hubby tonight but I think for us to put the property on the market and pay off what I can whilst trying to continue to borrow off Peter to pay Paul monthly in the interim will calm my nerves. I can't cope with the phone ringing or the postman arriving and I do realise that things take time but for me and the way my mind works I need reassurance all the time. I am sorry to appear so negative and on the outside to those who know me I am a confident person with all the answers but inside I'm crumbling. x

[lily]

awww you poor thing.

I know its really hard for you right now, I wanted my IVA to be sorted like yesterday but these things do take time and its such a huge step it needs to be done right, there wont be a next time, right?

Youre just not able at the moment to see past the proposal as youre dreading the onslaught from the creditors. Try to focus on the end result, the barriers wont be so visible. Why are they asking you to hold on to stuff? I was told to send everything as soon as possible. If youre not happy with things could you consider a change of company, maybe the one your with is snowed under?

If you cant stand the thought of not paying them anything arrange to pay them all token payments of the same amount. Their mission is to extract as much money from you as often as they can, its nothing personal but it can feel that way. What I did (same as you, scared stiff of the phone ringing) was to write a couple of lines which I read out to them and hung up. I am sorry I cant pay you anything, I am trying to sort out my financies, I no longer have a debit card, can you please update your screen? I am at the start of the IVA process.

Its normal not to feel on top of the world when it feels like the whole world is falling around your feet, its panic mode, yes? It will get better, take care of yourself and good luck.

lily

[Darren]

Hi Isthereanend....you have now started the ball rolling...you should now be winding down and relaxing and looking to the future being debt free in about 5 years which wouldnt of happened if you had not got the ball rolling already, so be proud your doing something either way its going to be gone isnt it...got to be a positive that one! many people out there who continue to struggle not realising where or when its going to end...your problems will end sooner, rather than, well not knowing when. When these people phone you asking for more money you should not pay them anymore than you can afford i gave them each £5 and when they ring again asking for more just inform them you already paid that month, i looked forward to there calls, never shyed away, i mean they wont call after the IVA been accepted, and if it isnt accepted (mine wasnt), i went BR the day...and previously to that, i didnt want to go BR, but now im very happy i did, my IVA got rejected and i offered nearly £480 a month! now i pay nothing and managed to keep my home, which i am obviously very pleased with, my debt ended there and then on the 10th May so you are going in the right direction, with this i feel you will be fine, and regards to the heating and leaving the door open "i just do the same thing if they are sat there until they say the same thing...." lol just to prove my point and then they tend to shut the bleeding door lol...Darren

B word not as bad as you`d think ? (im gonna find out soon)Since found out and turned out great!!!

[bagpuss]

I was a state while waiting for my IVA to go through...i dreaded anyone asking "how are you" cos i used to just burst into tears...i was 100% that it wouldnt go through and then a friend told me that it probably wont cos i am almost wishing for a bad outcome...so i changed my outlook and although i didnt temp fate by celebrating early i did go through everything again and tell myself that i stood a good chance..positive thinking can be a struggle sometimes but i swear by it.

Positive vibes coming your way xx

Angie xx


My IVA Story......http://bagpuss.blogs.iva.co.uk/2007/09/ ... iva-story/

[ray_a]

Hi Isthereanend

Yes there is an end and you have done the right thing to start.

I am concerned about selling your home and when I was in your position my main aim was to try and protect the family home!

With the turbulence going on in the financial world and houses not moving at the moment I would try and stay!

Please try and keep your chin up!

Take care

[Shining]

I am so sorry and feel an utter fool. Again sat here crying but what's new of late for me! I have spoken to my husband, he is so supportive and understanding as you all are. Thank you is all I can say hardly seems enough but it's all I have. My husband sent me a lovely text which I'm sure he won't mind me sharing with you.

Try not to worry, if we lose eveything we have we will still have each other, our family and our health. We'll just start over again, I love you and I know you're doing all you can but to lose it won't be the end of the world, to you lose you would be the end of my world. I wish I was more help but you know how useless I am, which is why we're in this mess. I love and trust you to make the right decision whatever the outcome.

This has now started me off again. I feel so bad for nagging and going on.

I've had to leave work early as I can't concentrate but as I went in late and with no make up on, they automatically thought I was ill and kept telling me to go home anyway. I think some of us are more needy than others and need reassurance. I must be that type of person although to date never thought I was. I guess it's the feeling of not being in control.

I'm waffling! I know! Just thanks x

[Maz]

Try and be positive! I know it's hard like waiting for exam results. But you have a very supportive husband by your side. 4 weeks is a bit too early to start to panic - it usually takes on average 6 weeks for all to get sorted (mine took 6 weeks). and yes the horrible letters and phone calls which are just all automated computer generated letters & calls. When I got all these telephone calls prior to the IVA I just explained that I now sorting out my finances please be bare with me and these creditors were fine about it. These creditors just don't like being ignore from what i found they need the constant communication even it means that you are sorting something out but making no payments.

I hope all goes well for you.

Maz

[emma_t]

Your husband's words are so true and so lovely, thats what really matters at the end of the day, as long as you continue to stick together you can face things as a couple.
I do wish you so much luck with your iva and hope things go well for you.
I am dealing with creditor calls about 15 times a day at the moment, it seems even when they agree to 'put a hold on the account for a week' the still call twice a day and send 2 or 3 letters!!!
My paper recycle bin has never been so full!!!

[Soulgrowth]

isthereanend ... hang on in there, this can be a real roller coaster of a ride. My situation has been going on for over two years now and I sometimes don't see an end in sight, even though I know there is. But in the overall span of your life ... it is just a blip.

Debbie

www.babynamings.co.uk

www.soulgrowth.co.uk

[jasperyogi]

Hi there isthereanend,
Please dont feel isolated in the way your feeling and the way your handling things right now, we have all been there and have all shouted at the family over silly little things.
I handled my low times by us all jumping in the car, rain or sun and just going for a long walk wherever we ended up. We would mke a pact not too talk about our situation while we were out and I must say these times were literally a breathe of fresh air. So try not too sit there dwelling on things just keep busy and the time will fly bye!
I wish you all the luck in the world, stay strong ok, you have a lovely supportive husband and family and they will pull you though....its only money at the end of the day, just remember things could be alot worse. One day we will all look back at this time, and all have a good laugh with one another, and every day is one step closer to that!
take care ok
ali x

Why spend life worrying...when you can spend it smiling!!

[scaredkez]

isthereanend, we have all felt like you do, so please don't think you are alone, i wouldn't have got through it if i hadn't had my hubby and family and of course all the lovely people on the forum, it is horrible and you do feel isolated at times and very lonely, it's no ones fault how you ended up here, my hubby use to say we could sit here and blame each other all day but where would that get us? nowhere except a huge row, i put my kids through hell they couldn't even talk to me with out snapping, or sitting down to eat without bursting into tears and the kids asking whats up with mum , why is she crying, why isn't she eating her tea again? you do pick over the silliest things but believe me what ever happens you will get through this, come out the other side and learn to live again, i missed so much work, and thought i was going to get sacked in the end i wrote the boss a letter apologising for all the time off i was taking and told him the truth, it was the best thing i could do and he was so understanding, i knew then if i had to go to work feeling the way i did it didn't matter as he knew why, i know what you mean about BR i was so frightened by the whole thing and like you i wanted to pay as much back as possible by way of iva, but it wasn't possible, i tried everything before i would admit defeat, there was no other corner for me to turn, and for me BR has been the best thing, it was the last resort, but i can wake up every morning now knowing there will be no phone calls, there will be no threatening letters, i have to get on with my life now and make it the best i can for me and my family and you will do to, its hard to see that right now but you will, wishing you all the best.
kerri

Please view my blog at: http://scaredkez.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[Shining]

Thank you for all your messages they really do help, I am feeling so much better today. I am going to deal with this and deal with this positively. I am sure I will have bad days and good days but last night talked at length with my husband and we're going to face this together, come what may!