The first step to addressing an out of control debt situation is to quietly work out - with the assistance of an insolevency practitioner if you wish - the level of your free disposable income. This is the sum of your income, less your essential household expenditure including food, clothing, socialising and contingency funds. This will give you a figure to see what can affordably be repaid to creditors on a monthly basis.
You then can look at whether an IVA - which has the advantage of a repayment over a set time period, with the disadvantage of perhaps disclosing your financial situation to your wife - or a DMP - which has the advantage of keeping things from your wife but the disadvantage of perhaps a far longer repayment period (in these circusmtances you will be expected to repay your debts in full) and the possibility of creditors taking legal action against you - perhaps involving charging orders against your home, which of course your wife will get to find out about.
I have dealt with IVA cases where there is no disclosure to the mnon-insolvent spouse - simply if this would put the marriage at risk and creditors have supported them, although the level of dividend you would be able to return may be a deciding factor. Generally the higher the dividend offered, the more chance of convincing creditors that your offer is fair.
At the end of the day, in both scenario it is down to creditors as to what would be acceptable, but you could always try the IVA route first, and if creditors did not accept the exclusion of your property which would lead to your wife being informed, you could then withdraw your application and proceed to propose a DMP.
The individual circumstances of your case will dictate what is and is not acceptable to creditors, so professional advice ought to be a sensible way forward once you have your budget fixed - and good insolvency practitoners will not charge you to assist with your assessment.
Hiya you must be really worried about losing the family. I tried and failed to hide our level of debt. I honestly can't see a way round it without telling your wife as every aspect of the income and expenditure forms etc will effect her and she will hae to sign them. We owed over 150k of debt . We paid 750 at first into dmp and iva then an affordable 205 when our income went down so don't worry about that aspect. There is a way. Hope you find a way for you that is right. Take care
I had 33,000k of debt, Had to curb my spending(no credit cards anymore),but as least I have a structure of whats going out each month now and how much I can spend!
I used to handle all the finances and we ended up with over £80,000. I felt sick every night and lay awake wondering how the hell I was going to solve the problem.
Once I had plucked up the courage to tell hubby I felt so much better (although still felt a failure). We have come out the other side stronger than ever.
I know it's hard but it worked for me and I am now building up the trust again. There is always a solution and if as Mel says you can do so without involving your wife then go for it. However I am so pleased I shared the problem with hubby as at long last he is getting involved with how much things cost etc.
I still sort the finances in our house - don't know why hubby still lets me as I was the one who got us into this mess! I hide nothing from him now and we manage to live a decent life. Not bothered too much now about not being able to go out and spend.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Well we ended up with around 57k worth of debt, but I must say it was built up jointly and neither of us have hidden anything from each other from the day we first met. I can't imagine being in the situation some of you have where you have built up debt and not had the courage to tell your partners knowing how being in so much debt weighs you down, I can't imagine going through that in a relationship but so alone.
I do remember finding out about a loan my husband had taken out years ago, I think we owed about 5k at the time, were planning to get married and I knew this loan finished quite soon, then he came clean and told me he had refinanced it for another 4 years, I was furious at that!!! so I can't imagine what it must be like to find out about thousands and thousands of debt you weren't aware of.
But to me, I think the key thing when you are married especially is working through these things together, it would feel like living a lie and my marriage was a sham if we didn't
Your marriage shows total trust Jan and that is why hubby lets you. Something worth hanging on to.
Hubby and I knew all and were our own worst enemies...we still carried on though! I feel he's learnt a more valuable lesson than me as he's a right tight git now!
IVA final payment left the bank on the 26th January 2013...looking forward to a debt free future.
So is mine at times!!! He always used to ask me if everything was ok and could we afford things when I was taking out further credit and he believed me when I said we could.
I felt awful but wanted to keep things from him as long as possible due to his health issues.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
you must be really worried about losing the family. I tried and failed to hide our level of debt. I honestly can't see a way round it without telling your wife as every aspect of the income and expenditure forms etc will effect her and she will hae to sign them. We owed over 150k of debt . We paid 750 at first into dmp and iva then an affordable 205 when our income went down so don't worry about that aspect. There is a way. Hope you find a way for you that is right. Take care
