I owe 5 creditors nearly £50,000. Makes me sick just typing that number.
I earn just over 50k a year and and my take home pay is about £3200 a month. Repayments currently cost me about £1050 a month. Mortgage and Household utility bills (excl food) are another £1650 per month. so I am left with £500 (if that) each month for a family of 4.
What would you suggest is my best option? An IVA seems to be from what I've read so far BUT I can't tell my wife I have this much debt or I lose my family period. Please don't say tell her because that's not an option Period!
At least not at the beginning. Maybe when 3/4 way through when the worst is over I would tell her then but not before - can't do that. Anyway the reason I'm stating this is read something that I would have to tell her as she would need to know about the equity release after 4 years? I do have a joint mortgage with her but all the debt is mine and I'm not touching the mortgage account at all.
Can you please give me your opinion(s)
Hi and welcome to the forum. I would suggest speaking to a professionnal in the first instance. www.iva.com is a comparison site and lists companies with some reviews of these.
Do you have equity within the property? You are correct in respect of the mortgage, there may be an equity release clause within your proposal. Do take some free impartial advice from 2 or 3 professionals. We cannot tell you what to do and I wouldn't dream of saying tell her as you know your own circumstance. I sincerely hope you take some advice and there will be a solution for you.
IVA final payment left the bank on the 26th January 2013...looking forward to a debt free future.
Canav - welcome to the forum - discuss all your options in more depth with few companies.
Its going to be extremely difficult to hide this debt issue - regardless of what option you choose. Some posters have been in the same situation as yourself and tried to hide the debt - it does come out in the end and hopefully your relationship will be stronger for it- but you gonna have to bite the bullet,Remember you wife is is finanically asociated with you, by the mortgage so it can affect her getting possible further credit anyway
Last edited by ginger3232 on Fri Apr 20, 2012 5:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I'm afraid that your wife may well find out about the IVA as there will be a restriction placed on the property so that you can't sell it without permission and I believe she has to sign it.
As Lesley says, speak to one or two professionals via the link posted above for some free advice.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Hi Canav and welcome to the forum. A year ago I was in a much worse situation than you (125K to 18 creditors) and my Husband knew nothing about any of it. However, I did tell him about it before entering into an IVA and he also had to have an IVA because I put loads of the debts into his name and I am still alive to tell the tale (and happily married). You need to talk to 2/3 IVA firms and discuss your situation in detail and then you should know who you feel comfortable working with you. If you look at iva.co.uk website you will find the whole list of companies on there. I don't think that you would be able to go through a 5 year plan without your wife knowing though!! Whatever you decide to do I wish you luck and can tell you from experience that as soon as you bite the bullet and start to rectify your situation, you will feel a whole lot better.
Hi Canav and welcome to the forum, if you can currently meet the payments towards your debts then an IVA may not be an option, however, to ensure your income and expenditure is set correctly then you need to discuss this in depth with a professional.
However, if an IVA does indeed seem viable, it will be virtually impossible to start one without your wife being aware, the impact on your day to day life would be impossible for you to hide, as all of your disposable income would be taken after your essential outgoings, she would suddenly be wondering why you don't ever have any money for holidays, and the nice things in life, especially on the salary you have.
Speak to a few professionals first to get a feel for if an IVA is viable but then if you do decide it is the right solution for you, you will have to think long and hard about getting your wife on board.
Hi and welcome! I remember that sick feeling well as my debt was about the same as my income too! Speaking to a couple of professionals is definitely your next step. If the equity issue is a huge sticking point, you could try a dmp but only a professional with intimate knowledge of your circs can really advise. I don't know you or your wife to question how shed react; but I would be more upset if my partner couldn't confide in me than if he'd hidden a few debts. We have posters on both sides of that fence who would be able to help if you decide to let your wife know.
Hi Canav welcome to the forum - you've definitely come to the right place to get support and great advice. You've done the first hard step which is adding up the numbers and asking for help. The next stage is to find out your real options and the implications of each - then you can decide what is best for you and your family.
I and the other experts have dealt with this issue many times and it seems to be easier telling someone when you have a definite and safe way forward so that they can understand the facts and realise that it won't the end of the world. I know thats sounds easier said than done and I don't trivialise in any way how awful it will be for you to have the conversation one day but you will have to so the best way is to be fully armed and confident that this is better for your family than the current situation.
We're all here for you and will give you what support we can.
Regards, Tina Shortland, Debt Advisory Manager for Melanie Giles at Debt Advice TV.
If you’re looking for effective debt related information, articles and news, then go now to our on-line advice service at www.debtadvicetv.com
If you’re ready to ask us for specific advice or help, then get in touch at www.call-me.debtadvicetv.com so you can start to free yourself from the stress and anxiety of overwhelming debt.
If you own a property jointly with your wife then you will have to come clean if you go down an IVA route, as the IP will need her permission to put a restriction on it.
I was in a similar position to you, but I had £150k of debt that my wife knew little about. I had always feared that she may leave me if she ever found out, which is partly why it ended growing into such a large number.
As it turned out, although she (quite rightly) went absolutely ballistic about it, she fully supported the IVA route and now that we have just completed the IVA, we are in a very good place financially. In a lot of ways the IVA has brought us much closer together and we are now completely open with each other about finances.
An IVA can be very tough at times, but its a lot easier if you have someone who can support you through it. Only you know whether your marriage can survive this, but give some serious consideration to sitting down with you wife and openly discussing it. If you don't the problem will most likely escalate and be harder to resolve.
Last edited by vince666 on Fri Apr 20, 2012 6:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Good post Vince - one I can totally equate with. My husband became ill when he heard of the problems we have but we are much closer now and have no secrets.
Don't forget as well that the wifes income will be taken into account for the income and expenditure so it may be hard to hide.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
HI
IM NEW TO THE FORUM TOO.
I REALLY FEEL FOR YOU. LAST YEAR WE WERE IN THE SAME SITUATION THAT YOU FACE MY HUSBAND HAD DEBTS IN SIMILAR AMOUNTS TO YOU AND LIKE YOU HE DIDN`T WANT TO TELL ME.HOWEVER I HAD ALREADY GUESSED THAT THERE WAS A PROBLEM BUT NEVER IMAGINED THE SCALE OF THE PROBLEM.I CONFRONTED MY HUSBAND AND FOR A LONG TIME HE DENIED THERE WAS A SIGNIFICANT PROBLEM UNTIL I FINALLY FOUND DIFINITAVE PROOF AT WHICH POINT HE HAD TO COME CLEAN.OF COURSE INITALLY I WAS FURIOUS AND SO MANY THINGS CROSSED MY MIND INCLUDING WALKING AWAY BUT ONCE I HAD CALMED DOWN I DECIDED TO BE PRO ACTIVE IT WAS ME WHO CONTACTED THE BEDT MANAGMENT. ONCE I KNEW THE SCALE OF THE PROBLEM AND WHAT WAS INVOLVED IN SORTING IT OUT I COPED BETTER. THE POINT IS I WAS FAR MORE ANGRY AT BEING LIED TO AND THINGS HIDDEN. WE ARE NOW IN AN IVA WHICH AS WE HAVE A JOINT MORTGAGE HE WOULD NOT OF BEEN ABLE TO HIDE. GOOD LUCK WITH EVERYTHING
font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica">quote:<hr height="1" noshade>Originally posted by Canav
I owe 5 creditors nearly £50,000. Makes me sick just typing that number.
I earn just over 50k a year and and my take home pay is about £3200 a month. Repayments currently cost me about £1050 a month. Mortgage and Household utility bills (excl food) are another £1650 per month. so I am left with £500 (if that) each month for a family of 4.
What would you suggest is my best option? An IVA seems to be from what I've read so far BUT I can't tell my wife I have this much debt or I lose my family period. Please don't say tell her because that's not an option Period!
At least not at the beginning. Maybe when 3/4 way through when the worst is over I would tell her then but not before - can't do that. Anyway the reason I'm stating this is read something that I would have to tell her as she would need to know about the equity release after 4 years? I do have a joint mortgage with her but all the debt is mine and I'm not touching the mortgage account at all.
Can you please give me your opinion(s)
Glad you got your problems sorted and I do know where you are coming from.
Can I ask though that you don't post in upper case? It is classed as shouting and is against the forum etiquette.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
Hi there. I know where you're coming from. I don't post very often, but pop in occasionally to see what's going on. I had a HUGE amount of debt that my husband knew nothing about, and the one thing that has always worried him was MONEY. I eventually had to bite the bullet and tell him - yes he went absolutely bonkers, he was mad, then sad, then distraught - you name it, he went through it, but here were are 2 and a bit years later in our (well my) IVA and still going strong. And believe me, the debt I had accrued was a lot bigger than your debt and my income was a lot lower. One thing I have learnt is that there is a solution to everything. My husband was (after he had calmed enough to think straight) more upset that I had lied to him than anything. I wouldn't dream of telling you what to do, but just wanted to let you know how it was for me. I would say give Tina (Melanie Giles) a call - she's an angel who popped up from somewhere and probably has no idea how grateful I am to her! I mean I was a blubbering wreck when I spoke to her, and my husband still had no idea at that point! Tina and Melanie and her team are the nicest, most non judgemental people I have ever come across. Give em a call. You might just feel a bit better afterwards. Good Luck - and take a look at my username - I'm not ashamed now, I feel a bit stupid!! Oh, and all the debt was mine too. The major stuff anyway. Maybe just picking up the phone and having a chat with a few people would set your mind straight as to which way you want to go? Let us know how you get on, and trust me, we all know how you feel, it sucks, but can be sorted. My husband has completely changed (for the better) n terms of finances - none of this "wifey does that" business anymore - its a joint thing and in some ways has been a blessing (in a very weird disguise!)I will stop yabbering now as that is what I do best but wish you the best of luck and keep posting, this forum kept me sane in the early days.
