I Just give up...

[clive.g]

Im Just so hopefull that my Iva is approved.. There is non stop arguments at home.. Ive got about £20 in my bank account to get me through the week.. And its just a nightmare until i get paid this month.. I just keep thinking how on earth did i get myself in this situation.. I just dont get it..

I havent been out with friends for over a yr now and my social life is terrible, I just work all the time just to live and sleep.. I hate my life at the mo..

Im soo down.. Ive never asked family for help.. Im that desperate for cash to get me through the rest of this week i got all my pennies together today and took it to one of those counters at tescos which i only got another £10 with them..

At then end of the day it all hangs on the basis that my iva is apprroved.. Ive Actaully broke down and cried today, not like me atall.. But its just all built up and after plodding along with it alone trying to keep up to date with all my payments its just taken its toll..

Its hard at work also, You have to put on a brave face, When deep down you feel terrible.. Everyone at work thinks clive's great, Clive is a laugh full of confidence.. But inside im not.. Day in a day out its a nightmare..

Im not wrighting this post for sympathy.. I just want to aware others of what debt can do to your life.. I know there is ways such as an iva, Debt managements programs etc to help.. And thank god that there is..

Just be carefull with what you spend.. And i advise you all to stay away from credit cards.. They are the main reason i got in soo much debt.. With interest going up all the time... And its a non stop problem if you cant pay it off.. I was 18 when i started the whole problem i was young and foolish.. You see adverts on tv for credit cards and you think fantastic.. you spend money which is not really yours to spend.. That is basiclly what a credit card is..

So all im saying is dont get yourself in a position like me.. I know eventually all will be ok.. With help from my Ip and my results on the 29th..Just keeping hopefull for that..

Alot of you have been feeling the same as me im sure.. And is horrible.. But we can do this right.. Lets keep our heads up and start a better future, So from our mistakes we learn..

Clive.. xx

Ps sorry to go on but i hope you dont mind it needed to come out..

[Viki.W]

You are amongst friends here Clive so you let it all out! [:I]

I understand exactly how you're feeling but you've got to remember that you are one of the lucky ones who is actually doing something about the debt, hold your head up, you should be proud. Things are bad now but they will get better.

Keep on the forum, I know I couldn't do without all the support you get here.

Chin up hun. Viki X

[sblack]

Hi,
That is good sensible advice Clive.
Stay strong and all the best for the 29th, fingers crossed for you.

[chris.g]

Oh Clive, I really feel for you. I suppose the only thing anyone can say here is we have been at the same place that you are now and got through it. It doesn't seem like you will ever get your life back when you are stuck in the middle of a horrible debt problem, but we do and you will too.
Try to keep it together and things will get better,
take care,
xx

[TREES57]

Hi Clive,just wanted to say keep your chin up and good luck for the 29th.I think we all say 'how the hell did we get here?',but hindsight is a wonderful thing and life is full of surprises both good and bad.We, like you are surrounded by people who all seem to be doing well and have no financial worries but it does make you think hhmmmm or have they?

[animaleyes76]

Good luck, reading your post brought back so many memories. The starting at 18 thing the wondering how you ever got that far in debt, the having to put a false face on at work.

Good luck for your creditors meeting, i'm sure it will be fine and then you are on the road to a new, debt free future.

I've been in an IVA for 18 months and there are times when you just wish it was all over. But think of the long term, the fact that you have done something about it and can look to a new debt free future, something some people will never have. You should feel proud )

[jane.l]

your post really struck a chord with me too! I had to give up work, I could not keep up the jolly, professional image!

Lowest point: when an old friend was told of my predicament by my brother and went online to another forum I was on and said awful things to me, that it was all my fault and I should commit suicide as the honourable thing to do!

I sat at work, luckily I was in an office on my own that day, I just sat and cried the whole day, did not work whatsoever and I then quit, I just could not take anymore. I have , on more than one occasion thought of suicide. I could not function anymore

[clive.g]

yeah Ive been so low about it and suicide has crossed my mind.. But how ever low i get i just could not see my self doing it..

I agree jane... That when people say its all your fault.. which in a way it is.. It does not really help matters and i think what im doing now is the best thing i can do instead of doing nothing about it.. But the stress and the Arguments etc and being so low on cash just gets on top of you..

But we shall see what happends on the 29th.. I can only hope its an apporval..

Clive x

[andrewgoodman121]

Hi Clive G,

Your life at the moment is an exact carbon copy of my life last year in 2007.
I had the same thing, arguments at home and loads of stress through having a shortage of money which is the main cause of it all.
I knew that i had hit the buffers when i was doing 2 jobs and had a non existent social life and financial worries on top of that.
I will never forget the moment i put my cash card in the cash point
and with total dread had insufficient funds only 1 week into the month.
I finally decided to go via the IVA route and used the IVA.com website
to look for help and came across The IVA Advice Bureau.
I got my IVA accepted and it has made a MASSIVE!! difference.
It is completely Private and Confidential, I get no more letters from creditors and to make things even more better i changed my Bank Account and Now i am always in Credit, WITHOUT!! using someone elses credit.
An IVA is not a Punishment Regime and far from it!!!
It is ideal for someone with Responsibilities such as a Family Man
and teaches you how to Budget your finances Properly.
I hope your IVA gets Accepted and don't EVER!!! think that you are the only one in this situation, There are millions who are Burying their heads in the sand.
I am 4 months into my IVA and i can say that now life is so much better and you can have a good social life but on a normal budget.
Good Luck and if Approved i guarantee you will notice a huge and better difference.

Who Needs Credit Anyway[:)]

[chris.g]

Some kind of friend Jane.... what goes around comes around.....wouldn't want her Karma,
xx

[andrewgoodman121]

Whatever you do Clive G don't EVER!!! feel down about the situation
you are in.
The build up to when you get your IVA Approved is a VERY STRESSFUL TIME!!! as you have to stop Paying your Creditors and you start to get the Nasty Phone Calls and Letters and the going through I & E
with your IP who always tend to say the things that you don't want to hear as they are drawing up your repayment proposal.
Send all the Letters and Correspondence to your IP who is acting on your behalf and DO NOT WORRY!!

YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE IN THIS SITUATION!!!!!

Let's hope that in 6 time months i am reading things on hear about you
saying that my IVA has been accepted and it has made a huge difference to my Life and you will look back and give other people the same advice that i am giving you as you read them on hear all the time and I WAS ONE OF THEM MYSELF!!

AGAIN GOOD LUCK[:)]

[kallis3]

Clive,

I could have been reading about myself! I too go into work everyday and have to be happy and cheerful, even if it is the last thing I feel like being. I daren't mention it as I don't want to become the person everyone is talkin about. We have had bills to pay this month and not a lot of money left over. April and May are terrible months for me with a lot of birthdays. I'm afraid that people are going to be getting a lot less this year. As for socialising, well hubbie has actually gone out today - to a funeral -it's the only socialising he will be doing for a while!

I was in the bank today paying a bill when I overheard two women talking. One was moaning about the fact that she hadn't been on holiday since October! I wanted to say to her 'you think yourself lucky it's only been six months, I haven't been away for 3 years and there is no prospect of a holiday in sight either.' I kept my mouth shut though.

Good luck on the 29th

[clive.g]

Thanks Andrewgoodman121 for all your words..

And i will try and not get down about the situation.. Im probably just worrying about nothin and all will be fine.. But as you said it is that build up to your iva which puts alot of pressure onto yourself.. The phone calls etc.. Saying that one of my creditors halifax have been really good about the whole thing.. But i guess its not long now.. ive done ok so far, Apart from getting upset today im sure i can get through a few more days..

Cheers people you are all a fantastic help..

Clive x

[clive.g]

yeah kallis 3.. ive had to leave out a holiday for this yr once again while all my freinds are away enjoying there selfs.. But regardring that i would rather have my finances sorted rather than be worrying about my money any more, As such... Basicly if the iva is approved it just puts you in a better organised situation.. thats all i need to put me back in the right direction

clive x

[andrewgoodman121]

We on this forum have BEEN THERE AND WORN THE T-SHIRT!!!Clive G

Being in an IVA is not a Stigma or makes you Leper of Society!!
it's designed to help you pay off the Debt in a reasonably
affordable way hence the 60 months.(Say a Loan but you can't use the credit cards anymore)
I work in Government Office, I commute to work everyday and have a Family.
Nobody knows i am in an IVA, only my Partner.
I would rather be in an IVA than have my life like 2007
STRUGGLING WITH PAYING THIS CREDIT CARD, ROBBING PETER TO PAY PAUL,
2 JOBS TO MAKE ENDS MEET, ARGUMENTS OVER MONEY, etc etc.