I feel so down

[Skippy]

I hope you don't mind if I have a moan, but I feel so down at the moment. I know I've got myself into this situation, but at the moment I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I hardly slept last night (not like me at all) and I just want to crawl away into a corner and cry, and to add insult to injury I've got a mouth full of ulcers. I am going to court for my BR on 5th April, but I keep thinking of all the things that can go wrong (and if I'm logical probably won't) - I worry they won't let me keep my car, that they won't accept my SOA, that I'll end off worse off than I am - I'm sure I'll think of some others before I go!

Sorry for moaning - I know there are people with far worse problems than me. The thing is, people don't understand unless they are going through it.

Onwards and upwards!!!
View my blog at: http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[maizie]

Im new here but just want to say even though I dont know what you are going through because I have only just started the IVA process, I can certainly relate to the worrying and upset. I haven't slept properly since December, tried everything from sleeping tablets to aromatherapy and i cry myself to sleep most nights. I really really hope everything works out for you and that the situation sorts itself out. I cant give you any advice but just to let you know you aren't alone x

Life is far too stressful!!

[MelanieGiles]

Skippy

You have tried to effect a settlement with your creditors and it hasn't worked out for a number of reasons. C'est la vie, you tried your best!

You are now worrying about things that will not happen - losing your car, failure to get a bankruptcy order. Trust me, in three months time you will be sitting wondering what you were worrying about.

Although I have not been in your situation personally, I deal with bankruptcy cases every single day of every single week. The process is easy, you are treated with dignity, and the staff at the Court will make it as easy as possible for you.

And the day of your bankruptcy order is the first day of your fresh start. It will all be over by Easter!

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

For further details contact me at http://www.melaniegiles.com and view my IVA blog at: http://melaniegiles.blogs.iva.co.uk

[Skippy]

Thanks Melanie and maizie. To be honest I just want to get it over and done with. I need to get my life back on track as I am arguing with Dave now, and I'm not going to let this ruin my relationship.

Melanie, perhaps you can put my mind at rest over a couple of things? I have read (too much knowledge is a dangerous thing!) that on my SOA I can only put down what I have been paying out, and not what I should have been paying out. I am supposed to pay Dave £200, plus just under half the bills, but I haven't been able to do this. Am I ok to put the full amount on the SOA? I am worried that the OR will think that as Dave has been supporting me he doesn't need the money.

The other thing is that I read that as soon as I am made BR the OR will own my car - can I still drive it until they decide whether I can keep it or not?

Good luck with your IVA maizie - keep posting on here as we all support each other, and if you have any questions I can guarentee that someone will be able to help you.

Once again, thanks for your support xxx

Onwards and upwards!!!
View my blog at: http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[MelanieGiles]

Skippy

It is essential that you put down what you are supposed to pay Dave - don't worry if you end up with a negative figure - lots of my bankrupts do, and I understand that they are often supported by a partner.

The OR will most likely exclude your car from the bankruptcy, on the basis that it is of low value and is essential for transport to and from work. You will drive it away from Court straight back home!

I suspect that you will have your chat with the OR from the Court, and that you will walk away probably not having to speak to them again - but do make sure that you ask all of your questions, as you will only fret in the meantime. What is your local Court, so I can try and ascertain which Official Receiver's office will handle your case?

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

For further details contact me at http://www.melaniegiles.com and view my IVA blog at: http://melaniegiles.blogs.iva.co.uk

[freelili]

Hey Skippy

I know how scary this, is my court date was booked and everything. Like you, I was terrified and my main worry was losing my car. Skippy, you can see this huge black cloud in front of you, the only thing you need to do is to walk through it and the relief will be immense. You feel like a lamb to the slaughter but it will not be like that, you are not alone and we will be there to hold your hand, just hang in there. We can all beat ourselves up skip but you are one of the kindest, most sensitive people here, you have suffered enough and made every effort to put things right. Not only will you smile again but you will appreciate life so much more afterwards and think of all the people heading the same way that you will be able to offer support to? I am sending you a hug and strict instructions to be kind to yourself. Rant as much as you like, I for one am all ears.

Love and thinking of you

LILY

I asked God for a solution and have to live with his reply.

[Skippy]

Thanks Melanie, you are really putting my mind at rest!

My local court is Kingston upon Thames, which I wish I had known when I first faced up to my debt. I thought it would be Staines (but they don't handle BR) and I didn't want to go there as I used to work there! That was my main reason for avoiding BR!

I was advised by my IP that I might be subject to a BRO due to the size of the debt (65k), and I'm not too worried about that (I don't have any political ambitions!), but how long will it be before I know?

Onwards and upwards!!!
View my blog at: http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[MelanieGiles]

If you get a BRO I will be very suprised. They are very rare, and the only one I have experienced since they were introduced in 2004 was for an IVA client of mine who disclosed debts of £14k in her IVA (husband also had £22k), but who had failed to disclose an extra £28k of credit cards. Her reasoning for this was that she knew the minimum dividend of 25p could not be achievable with the full total, but as this was a deliberate failure to disclose (her husband didn't even know she had the extra debts at the time they entered into the IVAs) she got a 5 year restriction.

Your case will be handled by the Official Receiver's office in Croydon, which is one of the busiest offices across the country. I am sure that they will see that you have tried your best with the IVA, and it simply has not worked.

Things like this do happen, as no-one has the benefit of a crystal ball on day one. Your case is genuine, you will not get in a debt problem again. Why on earth would anyone want to apply a restriction on you?

Regards, Melanie Giles, Insolvency Practitioner for over 20 years.

For further details contact me at http://www.melaniegiles.com and view my IVA blog at: http://melaniegiles.blogs.iva.co.uk

[Skippy]

Thanks Melanie. I am going to bed now, and hopefully I will sleep! I have decided that if I have any questions, rather than research them myself on the internet I will ask you!!! As I said, too much knowledge is a dangerous thing!

You are right about one thing - I will never get into debt again!

Onwards and upwards!!!
View my blog at: http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[Skippy]

Thanks Lily - I'm returning the hug! I know I will get through this - I have got throught far worse and survived! I am looking forward to getting the court date out of the way - I just wish I could book an appointment, but unfortunately you just turn up, and they can only see 4 people a day - fingers crossed everyone will be busy at Easter and won't want to go to court!

I hope things are looking up for you Lily - I was worried about you when I read one of your posts yesterday. The support on this forum is brilliant, and I don't think I would be able to get through this without you all xxx

Onwards and upwards!!!
View my blog at: http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[dcl]

Hi Skippy

I think you should start to view your BR as a new start. I am in an IVA but about 2 years ago I found out that my Mum was in serious debt (maybe its hereditary ) but as she was on benefits her only option was bankruptcy. At the point I found out she was at her lowest and worried about everything, she even had some negative thoughts that I don't want to mention here, but 2 years on and she has been bankrupt and discharged she is the happiest I have seen her in a long time. She worried about people finding out (1 person mentioned it once but that was the sum total of it) and worried about losing everything (but that never happened) so please don't be worried things will work out OK. I hope this helps.

[scaredkez]

skippy i now how you feel it is so hard at the minute, we will be ok and it will be a fresh start and thats what we will have to keep telling ourselves, look after yourself get some corsodyl for your mouth ulcers or try warm salty mouthwashes, stop arguing with dave and think positive thoughts, you have tried your best and that is what the judge will be looking at, i am finding it hard to find housing at the minute and wish the whole thing was over, especially in light of the 3 kids, i am trying to keep upbeat as my son is doing his mocks and i want him to have a clear head until its all over, i am really thinking of you and sending you a hug too.
take care
kerri

Please view my blog at: http://scaredkez.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[freelili]

I am thinking of both of you, Kerri, hang in there, I know you have already been through the fire and facing such a scary thing as losing your home, you are made of steal girl! I dont think there are many who could cope as well as you have/are. I am fine skippy, just feeling very much alone right now, I would like to think of one day getting back to normal but I dont really know what that is without my mom and job. We will all come out the other side though and much better people for it. Good luck to both of you, skip, I really dont think that you will lose your car. I was told I woundnt lose mine and its almost the same value as yours, by the time they have gone to the trouble, the return is just not worth it. There is a programme on TV (baliff or something). Its a real eye opener, what our stuff is worth, I can barely watch the programme but I have seen bits of it. Sending positive vibes and hugs to both.
Love

LILY

I asked God for a solution and have to live with his reply.

[Skippy]

Thanks dcl, it does help hearing other people's experiences.

Good luck Kerri, and thank you for your kind words. Like you say, we will all get through this and we will have a fresh start. I'm sorry that you are finding it hard to find a house, and I'm sorry for moaning - you've got so much more to complain about than I have.

Lily, this will sound strange, but you will get back to normal, just a different sort of normal. I never thought I would get back on track when my dad died - I was signed off sick, then I left my job after my manager accused me of stealing (which I hadn't) and split up with Dave for a while. It was the worst time of my life, but I got through it, and you will too. Your mum is still looking after you, the same as my dad looks after me.

Thanks again everyone for all your support, and good luck to you all xxx

Onwards and upwards!!!
View my blog at: http://skippy13.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[hellybelly]

Skippy, my partner is in court for BR next Thursday, the 22nd, we didn't expect to get a date so quick, maybe we don't have many people needing BR's here!!

It's not my debt but its sooo scary, when you keep on the right side of the law and then you go to court, its no wonder we're all terrified.

I just keep thinking how nice it will be to wake up on the 23rd and know he can help me with the bills so i don't end up in debt, to know we can actually save for our wedding, to not get harrassing calls and letters.

If he has to pay something for 3 years then so be it, but there is now light at the end of the tunnel for all of us.

Take care
Helen
x