I feel sick - help

[elizabethr]

I got home late this evening because of being at the hospital with hubby to find a letter in the post from a solicitors for A & L (MBNA) they say that if I don't contact them they will apply for a charging order on the house. I know I have been very strong about this whole thing but I am having counselling at work because of not being able to cope with "why am I in this situation when I work so hard" and this is just the last straw. I really do feel like throwing the towel in and just going it alone and leaving the family to sort the whole lot out. I have always been the one to keep everyone going and I can't cope with much more. This is not just talk I really am at my wits end with it.

[elizabethr]

2nd message - do they not realise that people are at there limits - can't pay bills, can't afford food and I just work for nothing!!!!!! sorry to rant!!!!

[TREES57]

good evening Elizabeth,please hang in there,somebody will be along soon to help,just wanted you to know we are here for you xxxxxx

[plasticdaft]

Its hard handling it all,sometimes completely on your own, please hang in there.
Have you spoken to A&L/MBNA at all yet???

[elizabethr]

I have spoken to them every step of the way and they will have had the letter saying I have appointed an IVA company. I just feel I have tried to be responsible and honest and its just no good.

[Kazzy E]

Hi Elizabeth. Sorry to hear of the problems you are having. I know this whole thing is really stressful and I am at a similar point to you I think. Please don't make any rash decisions about leaving the family to cope with it all, its easy for me to say, but you all need each other to get through this. Its good that you are seeking counselling at work; hopefully this will help you to get through these hard times. If I remember rightly, have you not have your IVA approved yet? Please forgive me, but I read so many posts that I get a bit mixed up with who's who, but I think you are at the same stage as me having submitted paperwork but awaiting news. Elizabeth, keep posting, we are all here for each other and I draw loads from your posts also. Have you attempted to call the Solicitors? If it makes you feel better, perhaps it would be an idea just to call and advise them of your intentions and then forward a copy of the letter to your IP. Hope you feel better soon hun. Take Care Kazzy x

[elizabethr]

My paperwork is with Melanie's team and spoke to them earlier today - they are just awaiting one other thing then I can finalise things. This was before I got the mail. I am going to write to the solicitors very strongly. I have kept A & L informed, have not ignored there calls and they now what the situation is - I feel like shouting at them - do you not realise that everyone is up to their eyes in debt and can' afford to eat.

[Kazzy E]

Thats right Elizabeth, I remember now that you are with Melanie also. I wonder whether it is a standard letter that is sent out when the creditor received their letter from Melanie's team. They obviously pass it on to their Solicitor to sort and as you are a homeowner, maybe it is standard? I think they know exactly the position that people are in these days, but it is their last ditch attempt to try to scare you into paying up. Let Melanie's team deal with it, they are used to dealing with letters like this every day. You concentrate on your hubby in hospital, he needs you more right now. Regards Kazzy x

[elizabethr]

Thanks for support - I know it will be alright in the end and I will actually be less stressed becuase i won't have all the phone calls and letters. Its just getting there.

[freelili]

Hi Elizabeth

I know its hard right now but do hang in there, you would really regret it if you throw the towel in and leave. How would you sleep? As I said, I know its hard but its not personal, these people want their money back and quite frankly dont care how. I am sure Melanies team can sort this out for you, just let them know. Youre doing all you can right now, whatever they do, you cant do anymore. Just go to the mirror and tell yourself that youre just one little Elizabeth in a pond of horrible greedy crocks who want your flesh. You can never beat them so ranting at them is no use at all. All you can do is meet them half way, do your best, as with an IVA. Youre on the right track but these things will crop up from time to time. Its a marathon, not a sprint, show them what youre made of and stand tall, dont let them win.

Let the professionals used to dealing with these things take over, you concentrate on you and your family.

[Kazzy E]

Bless you, I have just read your other posts about all the stress on you at the mo. You are working so hard to keep all your heads above water and I now understand why you feel you are sinking. Hopefully in a few weeks, we will be posting with fantastic news that our IVA's have been accepted. As soon as the other document is received, you can then move on towards a conclusion. Once accepted, the weight will be lifted and you will then be able to focus on you and the family and hopefully getting everyone well again. You are such a pillar of strength Elizabeth, you have been through the mill and you deserve your well earned break. Have a wonderful time. Will be thinking of you. Kazzy x

[elizabethr]

Thanks all for your support. I have just enveloped the letter to Melanies team ready for tomorrow's post and I have actually done a naff off letter to Optima (acting for A & L). Interesting they do not list a correspondence address - the address is to MBNA. Anyway I have written them a stern letter (I can write a good letter)telling them to address all correspondence to my IVA company! Going to bed now - got to pack in them morning.

[MelanieGiles]

No need to worry about this letter Elizabeth - we will certainly deal with it, but if we are only waiting for one thing from you we ought to be drafting the proposals very shortly - and well before a charging order application can bite! Keep strong - the end is in sight.

[elizabethr]

Thanks melanie - spoke to Angela today. More paper work going to you tomorrow. A bit complicated because payslips haven't been "normal#" recently. Am sending copies of recent payslips with explanation. I am also sending a copy of a salary calculation I have done on our "intranet" salary calculator showing what normal pay should be. I spoke to Payroll today for a letter confirming salary and they can't do one direct to me only if the third party write to them - like a mortgage lender would do. She assumed it was for mortgage purposes. I can't have you writing to them as an IVA provider so I can't get a letter. I have done the salary calculation which comes off our internal web site and this takes account of tax code and pension payments so is pretty accurate. My only other query is that my salary changes in July and should go up, as the IVA is just getting put together how does that put me. I now my budget is tight and if I could wait to take account of July increase I could increase the budget how slightly. My next pay rise will be July next year.

[MelanieGiles]

Hi Elizabeth

Do you have any idea how much your pay-rise is likely to be?

Sorry to hear about Philip's continuing bad health, but the way. Is he remaining cheerful, despite the pain?