I think the sooner you speak to Mel the sooner you will be able to get things straight as you will know your options. At the moment it's all if, buts and maybes. Mel is lovely and will put you at your ease and explain all your options to you.
Ox I understand p;erfevctly where you are coming from. We did a F&F IVA last month - we had the option of doing a normal contributory IVA but having struggled with debt for nigh on 12 years (due, like you to redundancy, bereavement. business failure, aand also illness in our case) we were able to put together an offer with help from Melanie and our family, who provided the funds.
My husband has had a few bouts of depression and before we went into the IVA he was so depressed I was worried that he might do something stupid. His anxiety was such that he was retching with fear every morning, and he felt worthless. He had eventually allowed me to take him to the doctors (unlike you he was unable to admit he had depression) and the meds really helped him focus a little better. WHAT HAS MADE HIM MUCH, MUCH BETTER, HOWEVER, IS DEALING WITH THE DEBT. We were in far deeper than you, and also a single income family. Since my business failed last summer I have not been able to find work(mindyou, the last couple of years I was not taking a salary anyway). Once we found there was a way out, the relief was immense.
We live 17 miles north east of Birmingham - if you and your wife would like to meet up or talk on the phone to get things off your chest and talk things through, just let me know, as our backgrounds are similar.
Stick with this forum - with noone to talk to about things, it has been a lifesaver for me. I wish you all the best.
Hi Ox..why would BR be a better option in regards to future employment?? Surely an IVA would be a 'better' option as wont damage your career as much? Im glad theres a social worker picked up thread and reassured you that the children will not be taken away from you due to debt. You are trying to answer questions that dont need answering yet as likely to never happen. If you did a DMP and creditors changed the stakes then what?? A IVA puts you in control. None of us know what future holds. You earn double what me and hubby earn together and we have more debt yet with a mortgage and three kids (and reduced income due to my maty leave) we have still entered an iva. and its best thing weve done for a long time. You need to get in touch with mel. We first made contact on Sat, its now monday and your still no clearer and after talking to SC probably even more confused and stressed. Have you looked at other posts on here about how people have overcome changes?? Im scared if hubby loses his job (his more at risk than mine) but we needed a solution now not worry about the what ifs and maybes. You need to get head together and speak to the expert else you are gonna drive yourself crazy and make it so much harder. Theres a solution for you. You have inclme, and an extra 10k available!! Your in a better position than a lot of people starting out. Your kids need their father to be happy and healthy. They grow up so fast and its the happy memorys you make with them that matter. Dont miss out on them because of a solvable money issue.
Its the unknown on the job that is stopping me they credit checked for IVA/BR when I started if they have done it yet.
Do i just be honest with them as see what is said and what about the next role.
I am an accountant so have to be careful i think, though I have not done anything fraudulent.
I dont want to miss out but it is not as simple due to my career choice, though some companies do not ask.
On the kids thing its if we go BR can we provide for them if no job
Last edited by Ox1987 on Mon Apr 15, 2013 4:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Income is from husband - used to be an accountant, now a Quantity Surveyor, though he earns quite a bit less than you. Our house is worth the same, with a big mortgage.
Our 3 children are grown up but 2 are still dependent on us as they are at university and live with us during the holidays (about half the year). We were so desperate we were looking at ditching the house to pay off (some of) our debts, but in an IVA your house is safe.
Several accountants have posted on here asking if it would affect their job and have heard no one mention that it has. My husband told his boss about the IVA just before our meeting as he was worried he was making mistakes at work (and was too sick - literally - with anxiety to make it into work a couple of days), and found him surprisingly supportive. Only CIMA would need to know, and I would have thought that a contract position would not be so strict as a permanent post.
I am listening just stressed no call yet I just get in a circle that leads to BR and then to losing kids etc etc the wife tells me I am spiralling and dropping clangers I just want the best solution for my family be it DMP IVA or BR aslong as everyone is ok
The thing is Ox, we can't make the decision for you, noone is going to be able to give you a firm answer on the impact of your job, noone is going to tell you what the best solution is for your debt problem, even Mel wont do that, she will only spell our your options for you and you have to make the decision yourself.
We have all spelled out the options for you, its now down to you
And I do agree with Foggy that you aren't listening, no matter how many of us tell you you wont lose your kids, you are still stating that you are worried you will, noone has ever had their kids taken from them for going bankrupt!
But I bet they all had jobs and kept them I know it wont happen worse case we will end up on benefits in a council house I would take that now tbh if it relieved the stress
Last edited by Ox1987 on Mon Apr 15, 2013 5:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
what? you seriously believe that just because someone has lost their job and gone bankrupt that they lost their kids?, I'm sorry but I don't think there is anything anyone can say that is going to reassure you
I wouldn't care if I ended up living in a cardboard box, noone would ever take my children from me, and I would work cleaning toilets, stacking shelves sweeping the streets and earning a pittance to put a roof, any roof over my kids heads and food on the table, living in a council house and on benefits is not the worse case scenario in my mind, being saddled with a lifetime of neverending debt and stress far supercedes that, possessions mean nothing if you haven't got your sanity and aren't happy.
Last edited by lem on Mon Apr 15, 2013 5:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
