i am at my wits end with son & daughter in law

[Margaret]

Hi My name is Margaret.
I have a son & daughter in law who are up to there necks in Debt.Only this week my son rang me for help {again} he is out of work and the bills keep coming through the door. They have a final demand on poll tax i think its still called ? any way could i see my way to giving them 1,395.00 pounds as the bailifs are coming round on Friday .
I said the last time i was not going to bail them out again but what can you do ??
They know my husband and i have a nice little nest egg which i want for us to have a nice retirement with when the time comes.
I told them they need to go to a CAB office and get help!!!!!!
Would they be better off declairng bancrupcy or go for IVA { which i have just read about}. If they were to opt for one of these options later on in life would they be able to emergrate to Australia. with a trail of debt... Please can you advise me as i am at my wits end with them.
Ps i have never been in debt in my life only with 2 morgages. {which we intend to pay off soon .
Thank you Margaret

[Beans on Toast]

Hi Margaret, hang in there, I'm sure one of the experts will answer you soon. You may need to give more information about the size of debt owed if you know it.

[Lisa2009]

Hi Margaret and welcome.
It is clear that they obviously need to do something soon.
Are they home owners?
If they are not and as you say, your son is out of work then bankruptcy may be a good option to draw a line under all their debts.

[OPTIMIST12]

Hi Margaret -

I am no expert but I would say put you and your husband first. You have obviously been responsible financially and I would be VERY VERY wary of "helping someone out" time and time again. Please put yourself first.

Your relatives are adults and really need to find a proper long-term solution to their debts.

There are plenty of jobs available providing people are not fussy - so hopefully your son will be back in work very soon.

[Reviva UK]

Hi Margaret

The very best way of helpingthem is to encourage them to get professional help. If you keep usimng a stiking plaster to sort the new problem out then in all probability it will just happen again and again.

They need to change what they are doing rather then get a top up from mum.

There are a number of professionals on the site who can give great FREE advice and I would suggest you arrange a call.

[Viki.W]

Hey Margaret, I am sorry to here of the problems your son and daughter-in-law are having. You have been wonderful to help them out but as everyone here has said, they need to seek help from an expert themselves now. Give your son the telephone number of Paul from Reviva who has posted above, I'm sure he will have an informal chat with him about his circumstances and possible solution. It won't cost anything just to talk.

A few years ago my Dad remortgaged his house to pay off my debts, I am now going down the IVA route as I couldn't possibly ask him or expect him to help me any further.

Good luck and keep in touch with the forum for advise. Viki X

[MelanieGiles]

Your son will not be able to put forward an IVA if he is out of work, but there are other options - and as the other posters have suggested, taking proper professional advice about those options would be a great start.