Sorry Ox misunderstood your post. Maybe take a bit of me time and try and get it out your mind for a while, read a book, have a bath or whatever you do to relax. x
IVA final payment left the bank on the 26th January 2013...looking forward to a debt free future.
I`ve been on antidepressants for 3 years now. They made an enormous difference to my life - hence the IVA and getting everything back on track. I wouldn`t wish depression on anyone. Unfortunately there remains a stigma in society about their use, but hey they`re ignorant.
Ox, Denise is spot on. They take a couple of weeks.
I can see you`re making excellent progress in confronting your financial issues. One step at a time mate.[:)]
You will feel much better by just getting on with the application process, it is difficult but you need to go through it and when you have your meeting the relief is unbelievable. Everyone has massive doubts whether it will be accepted and what will happen if it isn't but at the end of the day the situation we are in is not going to disappear until something changes. I would not wish how I felt during the process on my very worst enemy, it was terrible but now I feel so confident that it was the right thing to do and I just feel like I have taken a consolidation loan that is really going to work this time - I am sure I am not the only one who tried that route for it to fail miserably and ended up worse off. Please try to think rationally about your situation and let the experts help with what they do best. X
I know I am a good person, I just need to start believing it
Focus on what you need to do to get this iva proposed ox...ignore the creditors if thats easier than explainingbto them. From the moment we opened new account we closed the door on our 'old' life and started a fresh. Mel had our paperwork...figures were agreed and we just started living as though in an iva before it was agreed. Yes we were anxious about being accepted but put our faith and trust in Mel, we panicked when marc rang but we had agreed nothing could be worse than life as it was...maxed out on 6 CC, 2 loans and living everyday in the ODs. You earn an amazing amount of money which we cant ever hope to earn in our careers. We have 3 kids and a home. An iva is our chance to make a better life for the kids. Theyve not had the best of everything or fancy gifts/holidays/clothes but we are a strong happy loving family. Youve made the decision now get on and get it agreed. Ignore your 'mates' they dont know whats best and will only cause more confusion. Creditors dont give a dam and just have a list of people to call so ignore phone, save the letters and think positive in a very short time you will be on your way to being free from it all. You are putting yourself under tremendous pressure with this need for high achievment. How much more can you earn?!!!! With this new budgeted living you may begin to sppreciate the small but important things in life and make new games or find new places to go. The kids dont need holidays abroad or newest toys. They need a happy healthy stable father. Be that father Ox. My future brother in law died suddenly and unexpectedly on Thursday at the age of just 32. My nieces are devastated and my sister in law heartbroken. Times like that make you realise whats important. Friends and family not money.
Sorry to hear about your brother in law abbiesmum, that's really tragic for you all. My prayers will be for your family tonight.
Ox, we all went through what you are suffering now, it will end I can assure you. Keep taking the tablets - 4 years on and I can attest to the fact that they work. I too was a relatively high earner, (headteacher of a primary school) but after the debt problems and my fathers long illness and death and then my mum and sister both having cancer I re-evaluated my life and went back to work (I was off work for 9 months) as a class teacher with a big pay cut. I had missed far too much of my children's childhood with the stress of the job and the impossible working hours. But it was the best thing I ever did. Out of all the unhappiness I now have a much less stressful work life and consequently a much better home life, a DEBT FREE life. It was hard, very hard some months but so worthwhile. It's amazing what you can live without when you try!! Resign yourself to having a shabby house and a clapped out car and you too will come out the other end. As abbiesmum says family, not money is the important thing.
Sorry about your BIL abbiesmum I agree that its family life that is important but I just worry as we have a big mortgage so I have to earn to make sure we dont lose house etc that is what fears me but I think I am just worried about everything at the moment. We need to learn to live on what we have and budget. I need to get the unsecured debt sorted then we can move on. Also having a nightmare getting dd changed over
Just stressed.com
Have people seen a straight F&F work and be approved before...??
Last edited by Ox1987 on Mon Apr 29, 2013 7:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
There have been a few on here recently, Ox. If you are offering a decent dividend the creditors will be far happier to get it in a lump up front, than to wait to get it in dribs and drabs over a number of years. If the dividend wasn't decent Mel wouldn't be proposing it.
My opinions are merely that .. opinions based on experience. Always seek professional advice.
IVA Completed 23rd July 2013 .... C.C. 10th January 2014
Thanks Foggy, just a bit stressed about it yesterday and then that manifests into other worries etc etc, that I will probably look back on and think I was silly about. I also worry about the real impact on my work and career I know im safe here but what if I need to move on. Am we doing the right thing ??
I worry about the IVA versus a DMP and the impact of it on the future, I wish we had not got ourselves in this position but we are so have to deal with it to try and get normality back for the kids. It is paralysing sometimes when I need to get organised
Does anyone else worry about mortgage rates and the impact of those as we will not be able to switch or am I worrying about something silly again
Can we really get through this intact, think I may need a Tina telling off !! I am getting really worried about it not being accepted and then its game over....
Last edited by Ox1987 on Mon Apr 29, 2013 11:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
It won't be game over if a F&F IVA doesn't get accepted (by the way ... Mel doesn't "do" rejection!), there will be other options.
But, try not to get ahead of yourself and try not to think to far ahead. Take this one week at a time for now. Life in general is too full of imponderables to work out what might happen.
My opinions are merely that .. opinions based on experience. Always seek professional advice.
IVA Completed 23rd July 2013 .... C.C. 10th January 2014
I know I have got to stop panicking and get on with it.
I have been advised a DMP is not practical for me (too long) and unsustainable and BR means "Game Over" for me, hopefully the IVA does not work wise in the future as though I would love to have a job for life now, they don't really exist anymore.
Thats why I feel I have my eggs in one basket... however a good basket I hope.
Ox, I share all of your worries, and then some. I am upset after a phone call this morning, but am trying my best to stay focused, along with Tina propping me up again. I nearly put my head in the sand again, but know that i cant do that. How do you manage with your anxiety when you are at work at present? Do you just go into autopilot or do you still feel anxious? Wonder if the technique you use at work, could help you when you are at home and fretting? I am trying to do the very same thing, its really hard, but its worth a go.
Find it very hard to concentrate but manage it just about, worried mainly about it being rejected and then also not being able to manage afterwards anyway, probably stupid when you think I used to pay out loads in debt anyway.
