Hi all - thanks for all your replies I very much appreciate it... In June I had been intouch with a place called AdviceNI and we went through all my soa. she said there could be a problem because my outgoings i.e. housekeep money that I give to my folks to go towards tv licence/phone etc/repair bills couldnt be verified because all the bills are in my parents name and not mine. If I go ahead and apply for an IVA (possibly through grant thornton) would there be a problem trying to establish my disposable income if I cant confirm that I pay towards certain bills.... any advice would be gratefully received.
I was accepted into an IVA even though none of the bills were in my name so it's definitely worth investigating.
I would recommend speaking to a couple of other companies. As the others have said have a look on www.iva.com, or speak to any of the experts who post on here. Their details can be found in the experts section at the side of the page and they are all highly recommended x
There is no need to disclose the existence of your IVA to your parents - even if you do live at home, but your IP will need confirmation of the amount you are paying as board and lodge, so either a letter from your parents or bank statement entries will be needed.
It might also be an idea to look at a debt management plan, because the disclosure of verifying documentation may well be less under such process.
I was petrified of telling my parents!! I delayed telling them for months!! But Barclaycard kept hounding my parents home number and my mum then started to panic! I told them everything of how my ex landed me in this mess etc and I was suprised as to how understanding they both were! I thought they would disown me and be really let down but they weren't! I am sure most of you that had credit with Barclaycard had the 10 plus phone calls a day from them (I only had £700 debt with them) and my dad took charge and asked them politely (to begin with) to stop calling the home phone as i no longer lived there. We gave them my new address and they already had my mobile number. I had explained that I was entering into an IVA but they didn't seem to give up!! My dad threatened them with court action as they still hounded my parents home number. And they still did for 3 months after my IVA had gone through! Our Solciitor sent numerous letters to them and they did eventually stop but without my parents help and support I do not know what I would have done!! Everyones relationship with their parents is different and like most of you i was scared to tell them as I was worried how they would react but I think it was more that I felt I had let them down and did not want to worry them with my financial situation. Now they know and help me out here and there with things like my car tax, petrol, a new dress for a party etc. Whilst they were sad and upset for me it was only because they cared! Hope my post will help someone who is worried about telling their parents!! I am sure you will be surprised by thier reaction!! And my Mum is one scary woman!!
I sometimes think I'm a scary Mum but my children are very open with me and I hope they continue to be so. I would hate them to be scared to tell me anything as I don't always like what they tell me but I do appreciate their honesty. x
IVA final payment left the bank on the 26th January 2013...looking forward to a debt free future.
Excellent post Liz and I wish I could say that mine would be like that but I know they wouldn't. As they are very elderly as well I wouldn't burden them with it.
I like to think that my daughter would be able to tell me things.
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
I'm hoping the same for my 4...my mum is pretty much my best
friend and at times has been my lifesaver, so I hope to have that
relationship with mine.
I'm also hoping that I can guide them the right way and show them that you can live without credit and be sensible with their money
and save for a rainy day...something me and their dad have never
done [:p]
Unfortunately my parents attitude was one of disdain so support there was never an option and they never once asked me things or how it was going anyway. all my driends knew but Im not sure they understood what an IVA was but at least wehn i said 'I can't afford it' they'd know so it would save me any embarrasmsnet.
I had unfailing support from my sister, which I don't know how I would of got through the early times... and then of course I found the forum... the rest as they say is history.
xx
And now she's returning the favour. My poor sister has had to answer so so many questions from me, but she's done it every time. Even it its to say, I don't know sorry.
Our parents did have finance problems way way back when we were small and I'm not totally sure how they got out of it, their parents I think. But for years now our parents attitude has been one of 'if you can't afford, don't buy' We all know this is maybe how we should have approached life etc., but it doesn't work that way.
Today I had a telephone appointment with Grant thornton - I told her her I cant let my parents know of my debt because they are pensioners and not in the best of health. She repeated what Sue had said about folks needing to write a letter confirming that I pay money in for board. she said another way around it so they wouldnt find out would be to set up a standing order. I asked her if the creditors would contact them to ask questions etc and she said she 'didnt think so....' has anyone else been in this situation where they had to write a letter of this type - if so can you let me know if the creditors contacted them.
I would think that if you set up a standing order then there should be no need to ask your parents to prove that you pay rent.
You could always say that your bank or other lending institution needs confirmation of your rent?
Just a thought?
Sharing from experiences of dealing with debt
The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley. http://kallis3.blogs.iva.co.uk
It is not a requirement to get proof of rent for the IVA as ultimately it is your proposal. It is good practice but if you do not want to tell your parents and the amount you pay is reasonable, the IP can mention this in the proposal and creditors are normally fine with this.
I do not see how this prevents you doing an IVA unless the amount you pay your parents is way in excess of what is normal for living at home. Everybody has to contribute towards their 'keep' and this includes those in IVAs. I certainly would not hold back on preparing an IVA because you could not get proof of rent from your parents.
I thought I would reply as this basically describes me a few months ago.
I lived with my parents till May. They know nothing of any of this. They know I don't have any money but not that I have actual debt. They hit the roof when they found out I had an overdraft at university, so this would be the end of the world!
The phone calls were the main problem. I made sure everyone had my mobile number but if they think they have a chance of getting you on a landline - even if you say you've moved out they will still try. HSBC used to call my parents at all hours. They stopped in the most part while the iva was being finalised but Egg carried on calling every week. I told my parents I hadn't had an Egg card for ages and they kept calling me because of an error in their system (Egg do call 2 minutes after the last call so they do actually have system issues!) Luckily my parents know someone who's had similar problems with Barclaycard so they believed me. I'm not proud of lying to them but in my case it's better than the truth. I've been such a disappointment in all other areas of my life so I can't cope with being even more of a failure! Plus my parents are very much of the "never had any debt apart from a mortgage" types. (Would like to say I am very close to them in all other areas of life and they are lovely, non-judgemental people. My uncle was bankrupt and they didn't disown him!)
Only one friend knows (and she's in a load of debt herself so she understands) and everyone on here obviously. Try and remember the phone calls won't last forever. And if a creditor calls your mobile then pick up (even if you don't feel like it!) It might stop them trying the land line.
Private message me if you want to, I know how it feels
If it is an IVA protocol IVA - and I think that Grant Thornton like us regularly use these procedures - then you will need to provide evidence of the rental you are paying. Surely this can be done by showing bank statements if you pay your parents by cheque?
