Half Way Slump

[trixie]

I have only just discovered this forum and feel so relieved there is finally somewhere I can write and you will understand. My friends and family are only vaguely aware I am in a "debt plan" and not a full blown IVA. I am so ashamed of having to keep explaining why I have no money ("yes I am still in the debt plan..."), to those around me.

I slowly got into debt from 2002; started off sadly caused by a previous partner's failing business (long painful story). He bailed out on me leaving me to deal with everything on my own. I struggled on and on, working longer hours (difficult as a single mum) but always sliding further into the red; £44K by the end. My credit rating was excellent because I always paid off my repayments but they never ended, would never have ended; the interest and fees just kept growing.

Eventually I started to make arrangements for an IVA in 2008 and it was approved on the 15th April 2009. I am in a 72 month term and have made 37 payments; just over half way!

So why do I feel so depressed and exhausted by it? So sick of waking up in the morning feeling ill because we have no money apart from the very basics, shopping in charity shops for clothing and cheap dvd's to watch and buying food on offer in Lidl and my kids angry at me because I can't buy them things all their friends have. I feel such a failure. I feel as if it is a prison sentence and actually things would have been over quicker with bankruptcy.

I am trying to get a better paid job but realise even if I do manage that it will make no difference; it all goes to the debt so no matter what happens the next 35 months is going to be long, lonely and tough. Agh..... [:(]

[Shining]

Hello and welcome to the forum. So glad you found us and you sure can write about your IVA and we will understand as so many of us are experiencing the same.

You are half way as you say. Please don't feel a failure as from what you've written you proved you're a success, of how to move on and deal with the debt.

Is your I&E up to date and reflective of todays ever increasing costs? Worth going over, maybe you have a review coming up? Make sure you claim all that is allowed. I know life within an IVA isn't a bed of roses for any of us but we should be able to live too.

Do keep posting, whether it's questions or just support you need someone is always about and your journey will help someone else. x

[Foggy]

Hi Trixie. We all have our ups and downs, but try to focus on the end, which is now nearer than the beginning (I sound like Alice in Wonderland!). Looking forward the next 35 months might seem long, but it isn't really an eternity in the grand scheme of things.

It won't be easy -- but will be easier than coping with an ever mounting debt problem.

But it won't be lonely either, as you have found US We are here for help, advice and support whenever you feel the need. And we have a bit of a social side too, where you can talk about losing weight (or not), discuss the world in general or just groan at some very dodgy old jokes !!!

[trixie]

I just want to thank you for taking the time to respond to me. I have been thinking a lot this past week that the end is nearer than the beginning . I keep trying to put it into perspective and remember what I was doing 3 years ago and think it wasn't so long ago. I keep trying to feel grateful for what I still have. I keep trying to manage my impatience, though it is SO hard. I wrote to ask my IVA supervisor if I got a better paid job whether I could arrange to pay things off in 2 years instead of 3, but of course they will only reconsider if you have a lump sum to offer them, which I will never have....so it's on with the next 35 months. But everything I am reading in these forums makes sense to me...I have been living this like you all have, for years, with no-one knowing! And here you all are thank you.

[Broke of London]

I'm glad the forum is helping you through the halfway slump! I k ow exactly what you mean...I seem to be wishing my life away!! x

[Shining]

I am so glad the forum has helped. do keep posting and we'll all see it through together.

Positive mental attitude, I've just had this discussion with my daughter who is sitting an important A-level tomorrow.

[footiemad]

Hi Trixie. If you managed to find a job with more pay then surely only 50% (after deduction of expenses) of your increased disposable income would have to be paid across. Check your own proposal and have a word with your case worker. I think also you should check your I & E to see if you are claiming all your allowances because I have just read your other post and feel a bit concerned that you are surviving on shoe-string. IVA's are hard but they shouldn't be so tough that they impact on your children. I have 3 and know that it can be very demanding!!

[KM1512]

Trixie I know how you feel I have two teenage girls and I feel sometimes I have failed them. My oldest girl who is 15 was talking to me today about when she turns 18 she will never apply for credit because she has seen how difficult it was for me to pay it back and I felt abit proud because out of this mess I got myself into I have learnt her something positive. We are all in the same boat and we are here to help each other get though this keep looking at the bright side the threatening letters and phone calls have stop from creditors looking their money[:)]

[Struzzo39]

Hi and welcome to the forum, you've made it to half way , well done you!!! You should be proud. your on the downward slide now to the end posts x

[trixie]

thank you thank you for your shared stories and support yes you know just what it is like!

I didn't actually get any threatening letters till just before I started my IVA and cancelled all my payments because I had always paid everything on time but I had INSANE amounts of credit given to me...just more and more and more. I could have gone down for £100K at least. So you are right just to not have that on my shoulders anymore is a relief. I took on my first credit card in 2002 and it started to rack up from 2003....so I had 5 years of attempting to get out of it and utterly failing...like being in quicksand. The IVA at least made it manageable if still not easy. I am a single mother (receiving not a penny in maintenance ever)so I guess my life is NEVER going to be easy.

I did ask my IVA case worker the score with getting a new job and you are right...I do get to keep 50% of any raise...so at least I don't lose all of it. But it may take a while to get a better job anyway !!

So next week I make my 38th payment. I am actually getting excited about heading up to my 40th payment..I will only have 32 payments to go then...ah yes BrokeofLondon...wishing your life away!!

[StupidAgain]

Trixie sorry to highjack your post, i dont work for the CSA but my job is to do with child maintenance if you ever need any info on it let me know xxxxx

[Shining]

StupidAgain, your expertise could help many posters and we do try and support one another. x

[StupidAgain]

I would love to help Lesley :0) xxxx

[Niobe]

I am sure there are some posters that would value your experience and advice.

It's amazing how this forum does help and support posters on and off the forum.

[StupidAgain]

It is Harpic, all these people on here helping each other through a very difficult time even though they are going through a hard time themselves it restores faith in human kindness x