Final solution

[hara]

Dear all,

I have been posting on this forum hfor a while.

I am very saddened and concerned by some of the posts.

People who visit this are grateful to all the support and advice that they receive.

I am angry and saddened by the stance taken by some of the creditors.

Two of them feature a great deal in this forum.

All the debtors are greatful to majority of the creditors who in the end are supportive of IVAs.

Beacuse of the hard stance taken by a few creditors,with complete lack compassion,humanity,understanding,unhelpfulness many may have saught the FINAL SOLUTION of SUICIDE.

Such an extreme thought had crossed my mind a few times,but had to suevive because of two young Children and wife.

Un fortunately the ones who have saught are not here to post on the forum.

I hope the creditors who may have pushed them to that end read this and take note of it.

Hara.

[jane.l]

yes, I totally agree, at the start of our troubles I did consider suicide. Now I am at the lowest point of my life, I have lost my house and car, I am on the verge of bankruptcy, a close family member is dying of cancer and my best friend's husband died today! How much worse can things get?? But this has made me a bit stronger, I think!!! It has taught me whats important in life!

[mish1953]

Hi Hara,
Intesting comment but quite impossible to back up, no doubt there are some here that may have thought about suicide but I would be very surprised if anyone has taken their life purely because of debt. There are usually many, combined factors involved in a suicide, debt may be part of it but rarely the sole reason.
As for the creditors that are taking a hard stance, that's their choice as lenders. I dont condone the way they are dealing with it but you have got to respect that they are entitled to their own opinions , just as you and I are. The difference is that their opinions have become policy - the article in MoneyWeek - link posted elsewhere - show that some lendors believe that the IVA 'industry' have become ambulance chasers and as a result are generating more IVA's - make sense to a degree as thats the way they make money - but banks also are giving away money so I guess that makes them accidents waiting to happen..
In any event the business papers are full of news to-day, it looks as if its going to be a lot harder to get an 'easy' loan now.

[hara]

I read somewhere,that suicide is the most selfish act that a person can do.I do remind myself of that.

hara

[mish1953]

Hara - do remind yourself.
It is a selfish act but also the act of the desparetly brave .. I have considerable direct experience of suicide and the consequences for other people.
My mother took her own life 20 years ago this week, without wishing to go into details she did have financial problems and many other problems .. but the consequences for everyone else (mainly me ) were terrible ..

[hara]

I am not one that easily gives up.

I have had personal tragedies in the past and survived,probably that has kept me alive and the family that I am responsible for at present.

My first wife died in a road traffic accident,I had to look after two young Children,had on call duties,had to arrange child minding,worrying all the time.Had to change job every year or two.Did not have permanent visa,though I got it soon after my first died.

I have a permanent job for the past 15 years and am a British Citizen.

I am re-married and have two young children and wife.

Debt was the most painful thing that has happened to me,it made me lose controle,which in effect was handed over to my creditors.

Also there is an element of social stigma.
My wife would have comitted sucide if I was made bankrupt and the news was in the papers.

I may have done the same thing.

FORTUNATELY IVA has been agreed with the creditors.

I have to work at it very hard to bring it to a successful conclusion.

hara

[aguise]

I tend to agree with mish there is usually more than just one factor to suicide, debt can be one of them. What is a terible thing for one may not be for another. Bankrupcy would have been a much easier and cheaper option for us and the papare didnt frighten me at all, but I fgelt a duty to pay back what I can and still do the overtime to put the extra in and dont mind. people will talk for a few days and then its old news, but as you say hara for you and your wife it was unnacceptable and I respect and understand that too. Suicide hurts the family more and money is not worth the suffering it can cause to those left behind.

Ang

Please visit my blog at http://aguise.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[Chris.z]

Just read these posts with interest and I have much experience of suicide, depression and other Mental Health Issues having been a psychiatric nurse for 15 years. I personally think the comment about 'Suicide being a selfish act' is very generalised and certainly not backed with any worthy evidence or research. If someone commits suicide it may well be for a host of reasons but believe me debt is up there, as is other thing's divorce, death of a close one and other life changing events. Secondly, banks may well be entitled to claim what they lend but much of their lending is irresponasble and they, in the past have thrown money at people. I believe they are now paying for this carefree attitude. Finally on suicide, I am not sure this is the best forum to be discussing this on.

[scaredkez]

gee guys what a horrible subject, but yes we have all thought it and been in that dark place thinking this was the answer, life is a gift use it wisely, we all make mistakes regardless, at the end of the day money is paper, and i am gonna be crude here what do we do with paper but wipe our backsides with it, is it worth putting your family and friends through so much pain for that and for questions that could never be answered, you are on a journey, being poor or rich does not give you any right over the other in death.

i have had the most horrendous year, its not over yet, i don't care about material things anymore, they are nothing, i have the love of my family and the support of real friends, ( yes you lily and skippy) who have seen me through my darkest days, and i now realise that suicide was never the answer, so those of you who think it is an easy way out its not think of your loved ones, and embrace the gift of life that you have been given, God put us on this earth to make mistakes so others could learn, enjoy what you have regardless!!!
kerri

Please view my blog at: http://scaredkez.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[lily]

Just to add to this topic, I believe it is eztremely important to mention this topic on this forum, many people who come here are as desperate as that. I did some reaserch some years ago into suicide and its a myth that people who take their own lives never talk about it. Debt is way up the list of reasons. Whatever the reason, its a sad and desperate act, the victim cannot see any other way forward. Debt can make a person feel hopeless, a failure, guilty and ashamed, not to mention the associated harrassment from creditors, and with the other inevitable stresses of life it can just become too much. Somtimes its difficult for the person who is holding a gun to their head to see or believe in a solution. The important thing for us on this forum is to try and reach out far enough so that they believe it is worth putting the gun down and not to judge.

Creditors do not care, our only worth to them is money.



lily

[hara]

Dear all,

I am glad that this subject has aroused a lot of interest.

The reason I posted this subject has to do with the fact that some of the creditors, by their inflexible,uunderstanding,uncompromising,uncompassionate,inhuman behavior are making lives very difficult.

I feel that the issue has a place to discussed to highlight the credotors contribution to such an end,however unpleasant and inappropriate it may seem.

Also it may prevent such an act by any one desperate to contemplate,by reading and coming to know how others have survived.

Hara.