As you may know, Mrs Size is a nurse and she brought home a list of (supposedly) true notes that have been made by doctors in patients files or on memos. I felt I had to share them with you all....
1 The patient has no previous history of suicides
2 The patient left her white blood cells at another hospital
3 Patients medical history has been remarkably insignificant, with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days
4 She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night
5 Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year
6 On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared
7 The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed
8 The patient has been depressed since 1993 when she began seeing me
9 Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission
10 Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful
11 Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch
12 She is numb from her toes down
13 While in A&E she was examined, x-rated and sent home
14 The skin was moist and dry
15 Occasional, constant infrequent headaches
16 Patient was alert and unresponsive
17 She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce
18 I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy
19 Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation
20 The lab test indicated abnormal lover function
21 Skin: somewhat pale, but present
22 The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor
23 Patient has two teenage children, but no other obvious abnormalities
24 When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room
25 The patient was in his usual state of good health until his aeroplane ran out of fuel and crashed
26 Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant
27 She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December
28 Patient was seen in consultation by Dr Smith, who felt that we should sit on her abdomen, and I agree
29 The patient was due to have a bowel resection, however he took a job as a stockbroker instead
30 By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling better
Regards.
Last edited by
size5 on Fri Mar 25, 2011 9:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
