day from hell!!

[Dominic]

its like i said somewhere a village has lost its idiot

[Lisa2009]

I think Andy's donation to jane was marvellous. Its nice to see people step in when the "chips are down"
not only has jane got financial stress to cope with but she has serious family issues too.
We can at times all do with a little extra but hey, family is most important as so many of us on here have said and Andy with your help jane is now able to see her family at this extremely upsetting time.
To jane.....i hope you get to see your dad and step mum, im sure they will treasure yo being there for them......Take care and try to keep your chin up.

[Lisa2009]

Just to add....i think it really shows how important to all of us this forum has become.

[Rainbow]

Just to add my support to Andy and all those that have posted in support of Jane - I can see the other side of the coin Debbie as well, but sometimes when one thing goes wrong in your life, other things go wrong as well, and we have all been at some point in our lives been in despair, but imagine not being able to give other family members your support for the sake of a few pounds, how bad would that make anyone feel? Even if Jane doesn't take up the offers made she will truly feel that people do care and that it takes more than money to make the world go round.

All power to you Andy - I think that this is right and fitting.
Rainbow

[Soulgrowth]

Some interesting thoughts ... thank you

I just wanted to make a few additional points ...

I work as a non-religious Funeral Minister and so come into daily contact with bereaved families ... indeed the coming week sees me conducting two funerals for babies' ... still born at full term and three months old ...

Andy offered me some vouchers after I made the trip to Birmingham and missed the meeting because the hotel staff didn't seem to know about it. The trip incurred both travelling and hotel costs. I thanked Andy very much and declined the offer on moral grounds.

Debbie

www.babynamings.co.uk

www.soulgrowth.co.uk

[Rainbow]

Can I just say that I feel really bad because I started it, and I really didnt mean to make anyone feel bad or change the focus of the forum, or the ethos. I really only wanted to help.

lily

Lily please don't feel bad - I think that you had Jane's very best interests at heart - You didn't change the focus of the forum or the ethos and if I had known I would have suggested it to.[:)]

[lily]

Thanks rainbow, thanks Kerri.

For your replies.

lily

[Sadsack]

I have read this thread with great interest as it seems that it has opened quite an unusual debate.

Yes, this forum is about support to forum members - a place for all to rant and rave as an when they need it. It is a place where we can share our tears, heartache, laughter and successes.

Whilst I agree with some of the comments, I do feel that somewhere along the line, a point has been missed. We all know what it is like being in IVA or in Bankruptcy, what the restrictions are, what we can and cannot afford. This forum is not a financial institution, it does not have unlimited financial resources, but it has the right to offer assistance in extenuating circumstances - and I feel this is the right circumstance.

It is the kindness and character of the people who post on here which make this forum just what it is. Had I picked up on this thread earlier, I too would have stood up and offered help - and I am still prepared to do so. I have never yet come across any thread or post on this forum where someone has asked for financial help and I do not believe anyone ever would. We have bared our souls on this forum, our lives have become an open book for all to read and no matter the circumstances, none of us have been judged for our errors.

Andy and all others who have supported Jane, well done!! If there is anything I can do to help, Andy or Admin, you have my email address, please let me know.

Sue

Ho Hum! Think I'll bang my drum!

Read My Blog
http://sadsack.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[jane.l]

Thanks to everyone for their kind words and offers of help. It really has meant a lot to me at this awful time, especally to Andy

I was in no way asking for financial help or expecting it from this forum, its just a mine of good information to me and I always read it every day for advice

My original post was really a gripe and a moan on my behalf, I did not think bankruptcy would be a walk in the park but I am just so frustrated at the OR in trying for this £100 per month IPA when we will be £70.44 in the NEGATIVE every month if he does! He has got our surplus to about £80 by disallowing some things, (we have to pay for cat litter and PetPlan and my prescriptions out of the shopping budget but that’s barely do-able as it is!) but he told me he wants an IPA of £100!

I cannot believe that no contingency fund is allowed at all for situations such as this, the need to visit a relative who has not got much time left to live! Or any other unexpected event, what happens if the washing machine or the fridge-freezer breaks down???

I was really just letting off steam and having a moan in the post, sorry!

[Sadsack]

There is absolutely no need for you to apologise. As I said, this forum is here to support one another and that is exactly what we are doing!!! You carry on ranting and raving - we will still be here to support you.

Sue

Ho Hum! Think I'll bang my drum!

Read My Blog
http://sadsack.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[lily]

Jane

I totally understand where you are coming from, you never asked for help, all this has made me feel quite bad as I was only thinking that your Dad might need you and you were desperate to get there.

I do also understand that this forum is not a 'cap in hand' place.

Andy's and my offer was a genuine attempt to help and NOT to start a debate about what the forum is about.

I will be fairly reluctant to post from now on to be honest, its a horrible feeling when you offer to help and its all taken out of context. Dont feel bad Jane we know it wasnt a 'cap in hand' post.

Anywat my offer still stands if you want my email address I am sure admin would pass it on.

Good luck to all


lily

[thebear29uk]

Hi all

Only just picked up on this thread so thought I would share my thoughts.

At no point did Jane ask for financial assistance. How many posts have we all read where people have "£2 in their purse/wallet and a week to payday"? Everyone on here is suffering financial hardship and this forum is all about advice and support.

I personally feel that if the forum can make one-off donations at their discretion in certain circumstances then that is not only fine by me but I applaud it. I don't think anybody will be jealous of this award and I understand where Debbie is coming from but I also think that enough has been said on the subject now and further discussion is only going to make Jane feel bad about accepting a gift offered with the best intentions.

Having been posting here for about 9 months but viewing threads for 11 I remember Kerri's plight at Xmas. I was delighted admin stepped in at that time. Jane has posted on here for a long time now and its apparent her health is suffering maybe more than others of us. She could well benefit from a lucky break so please don't taint it by continually questioning the right to give it.

Regards

Dave

[Sadsack]

Lily

Please don't stop posting on the forum. What you offered shows your strength of character and kindness.

Sue

Ho Hum! Think I'll bang my drum!

Read My Blog
http://sadsack.blogs.iva.co.uk/

[sonyse2t5]

Lily,

You have to believe there is light at the end of the tunnel...that believe will deliver the light.....remember the charcter role of Andy in the film Shaw shank Redemption.

That film gave people the massive courage to overcome their challengers and ultimately succeed.

[Soulgrowth]

Good to hear everyone's responses ... thank you.

Please be assured that there was never any intention of making Jane feel bad when I somewhat played Devil's Advocate in raising the question about what the Forum is for. I simply hoped to generate an objective debate ... which I think has been successfully achieved.

Hopefully the replies will help Admin and Andy to ascertain where the Forum is coming from and take it forward to even greater growth [:)]

Best wishes to all

Debbie

www.babynamings.co.uk

www.soulgrowth.co.uk