Another ickle joke

[Wizzzard]

[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]

[kallis3]

How are you today Ray?

[Wizzzard]

A tad kernackered Kali ... but still bearing up ... trying to find out how DM got me Bumper Book of Wizzzard Sniggerettes [:D][:D]

[kallis3]

Glad you are bearing up!

She must have sneaked in when you weren't looking![:D][:D][:D]

[debtmountain]

[:I]..Oops caught out!![:D], I promise to put it back now Ray until you're ready to dish them out again[;)]

Glad you're bearing up with things anyway, look after yourself and Mrs Wizzz...xx[:)]

[Wizzzard]

Just got back from Hospital and seeing the heart chappie. I've lost 1 stone 11 pounds in 5 weeks and my lungs are a lot easier now. Also my heart is showing signs of improvement so my mood and demenour has improved considerably[:D]. Sometimes to much bad news duz yer 'ed in. So by way of a thank you for all of your support a Wizzzard jokette ...

Bloke rings his local hospital and this conversation follows:
'Hello I'd like some information on a patient, Mr Wizzz. He was admitted last week with chest pains and I just want to know if his condition has deteriorated, stabilized or improved?

'Do you know which ward he is in?

'Yes, ward P, room 2B

'I'll just put you through to the nurse station.

'Hello, ward P, how can I help?

'I would just like some information on a patient, Mr Wizz please, I was wondering if his condition had deteriorated, stabilized or improved?

'I'll just check his notes. I'm pleased to say that Mr Wizzz's conditioned has improved. He has regained his appetite, his temperature has stabalised and after some routine checks tonight, he may be well enough to go home tomorrow.

'Oh that's wonderful news. I'm so happy, thank you ever so much!

'You seem very relieved, are you a close friend or relative?

'No, I'm Mr Wizzz in room 2b. Nobody tells you sod all in here...'

Have a great weekend xxx

[kallis3]

[:D][:D][:D]

What good news Ray! That's a good weight loss as well in such a short time.

I hope you continue to improve.

I do miss you when you don't post.[:)]

[Skippy]

Nice one Ray!

I hope you carry on improving xxx

[debtmountain]

[:D][:D][:D]..Aint that the truth Ray[:D]

I'm so pleased that your health is improving,and glad you're feeling a lot chirpier, you must be feeling very relieved to hear this good news[:)], and I'm glad you've got your bumper book of wizzzard sniggerettes back again, as promised I did put it back[;)]..xx

[kallis3]

[:D][:D][:D]

[debtmountain]

[;)]..Shhhh!!, don't tell Ray but when I borrowed his Book of Sniggerettes the other week, I kept a couple back[:0], so here's one of them!!..Sorry Ray[:I]

A Soldier rang up to a Nun, out of breath, he asked "Please may I hide under your skirt?, I'll explain later"....The Nun agreed...A moment later, Two Military Police rang towards the Nun and asked if she had seen a Soldier..She said "he went that way"..After the Police had rung off, the Soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said " I can't thank you enough Sister,you see I don't want to go to Iraq..The Nun said " I understand completely"..The Soldier added "I hope you don't think I'm being rude but you have a great pair of legs", to which the Nun replied "If you had looked a bit higher, you would have seen that "it's not just you, I don't want to go to Iraq either".[:D]

[debtmountain]

And here's the last one,[;)]I promise Ray[:D], it's a bit of a yukky one I'm afraid[xx(]..

John went to visit his long lost, 90 year old grandfather, spending a great evening chatting the night away, The next morning John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, 'Are these plates clean?'His grandfather replied, 'They're as clean as "cold" water can get em'. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!' For lunch the old man made some hamburgers.Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked,'Are you sure these plates are clean?' Without looking up the old man said, 'I told you before, Sonny,those dishes are as clean as "cold" water can get them. Now don't you fret,I don't want to hear another word about it!'

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass. John yelled and said, 'Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car'. Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted.'Colewalter, go lay down now, yah hear me!'[:0][xx(]

[Wizzzard]

Great gigglettes DM ... have made a damp patch in me chair laffing at them ... keep 'em coming [:D][:D]

[moretolife]

DM....I needed a good laugh..loved the one about the nun who didnt want to go to Iraq...guffawed big time...I always love the gigglettes and sniggerettes...keep em coming Wizzz and DM

[kallis3]

[:D][:D][:D]