Advice for Ox

[Foggy]

Mel's team are confident and you can't ask for more than that. If life was full of certainties you wouldn't be in your job!

[Ox1987]

Trying to focus on my sons birthday but wondering where will we be on his next one.....

[luluj]

Ox ...this time next year you will be in an IVA and on the road to debt freedom. you will using a budget to live off and your family will be celebrating your son's birthday ...that's how confident I am !

[josu]

Ox this time next year, you will either be debt free thanks to the F&F IVA or in a monthly paying IVA on the road to debt freedom. Either way in order to plod along without financial worries you know something has to give. You obviously need a little something more left after the bills. If i were you i would stop worrying about the really silly stuff like kids in care, i mean come on that is far fetched and just plain daft. Put your energy into figuring out your budget i still stand by what i said and im not the only one who thinks it. You are on a big enough wage to get by without stress, maybe not a life of luxury but you should be comfortable. I still say the lease car has to go, im betting it is a fuel eater too!!

[Hyperdrive]

Was Mrs H birthday today - managed to get Caro Emerald tickets in September. She was over the moon!
How`d your night go Ox ?

[Hyperdrive]

And don`t forget the GP[8D]

[Ox1987]

Night went ok got sleepover tonight with his friends here so got to be on it and hopefully it will distract me

I cant get a pre bookable appt for the GP for next week have to try and get an on the day one
My pills do need strengthening today I woke up wretching I assume its the anexity and stress and I am tingling all over. Had the BR dream again and now after not thinking BR for days its back and really stressing me out. I am struggling in the office even at the moment to concentrate I am using the elastic band but not working very well

Stressed we wont survive this

[josu]

After what you have already survived Ox, this is nothing, this is money, materials, of course you can do this!!!

[Ox1987]

I am a nightmare I wish I could just relax and take each day as it comes instead of worrying about everything I have convinced myself that my life and the childrens are ruined when I hope that is not tje case I am beating myself up for allowing this to happen and I think that is alot of it I have been told men dont cope with these things the best

[Foggy]

"I have been told men dont cope with these things the best" -- Oooooh, Ox .. thin ice there Who told you this (bet it wasn't a bloke!).

When we have to step up to the plate, we do, Ox, as you are doing. The depression isn't helping, but that can be handled with the help of your GP.

[Ox1987]

Thanks Josu I appreciate it I hope I can survive this to.

Foggy it wasn't but the theory I understand I am the provider and main bread winner so when it falls apart then it hits me hard.
I feel I have let people down by getting into this situation and am trying hard to resolve it but have doubts that it will

I also feel should I be working as an accountant without telling them fully of my debt issues, I have spoken to my big boss who said the IVA was OK but still feel dishonest that does not help situation mentally.

I feel very wierd today my head is fuzzing up not engaging with anything. Is that a sign of full on mental health issue. My eyes are acting strange also. If I get sick and have time off work then we are in trouble.

Did everyone have this stress at this stage or am I abnormal. I still am convinced that we are going to have to go BR and lose house and job and this is not going away. Have even started looking at council houses on the web. Why ....

[josu]

Why would you need a council house anyway? You are going to the extreme, worse case scenario you rent a little house until you get back on your feet. You still have a job, you are not going to lose it, you have spoken to Cima!!!!!! I dont know much about F&F IVA but i strongly believe you wont have a problem doing a normal IVA i feel like writing that on a big stick, tracking you down and bashing you with it!!

[Ox1987]

Worse case for me is BR and that would mean no job (iva ok BR not) lose house and then be homeless

[josu]

No, worse case for you would be BR, lose job, get another job albeit a lesser paid job maybe in a different field, maybe nights, maybe anything, you rent a small house until you get back on your feet. What is all this homeless rubbish? An inteligent man who loves his family will not end up on the streets!!! This is worse worse case. Its not going to happen, you will get an IVA even if it is the regular one, you can afford to pay monthly into one if you get rid of the lease car. If you lose your job in a years time you get another one, even if its not the right one, even if its doing something else, you will work any job you can, your wife at this stage may be able to work a couple of evenings or something, you will be able to alter your contributions and you will be able to get through your IVA. It is just like a consolidation loan,except it is interst free and you will have Mel and her team with you the entire way through!! What is it that is not making sense to you Ox?

[Ox1987]

I do understand Josu
I just fear that in BR would ruin all our lifes including the kids but as you said this is worse worse case and not going to happen. They will I hope accept the F&F IVA it is a good offer I know it is and I have a brillant and fantastic team behind me that Im sure does not want me to lose my home and career and will do as much as they can to prevent that.