A moment of reflection

[barb]

This month hubby and I are offically half way through the IVA. The time has absolutely flown by.
We were chatting last night and took a moment to reflect on the past few years. Those that lead up to the IVA and those two and half years into the IVA.
Looking back we now realise just how out of control our lives and finances had become.

I thought I could manage everything myself as hubby had health issues and so I hid alot of our situation from him, thinking I was helping. As our situation got worse I became fearful of the repercussions of my actions so I hid things even more. I would cry myself to sleep at night, I would be snappy at hubby, I would rush home in the middle of the day to try and catch the post but above all I felt alone and I was drowning as I felt I had noone to confide in.
The final straw came when our landlord knocked at the door whilst I was out and spoke to hubby, asking why he had recieved no rent, imagine finding out about the state of your finances from someone else.
Hubby was devestated, as you can imagine but I am extremely lucky to have the husband I do.
We sat down and talked about everything and I mean EVERYTHING.
It was at that point that things started turning round for us.
We faced our problems together and for the 1st time in a long time we were honest with each other and we had the best night's sleep in a long time too.
Since we entered into the IVA we no longer keep secrets from each other, we talk about everything,we are stronger as a couple, we have food in our cupboards, all the bills are paid and we haven't worried about who's ringing or the postie come knocking in a long while.

Sometimes it takes a moment of reflection to appreciate life, family and health and what little money we do have [;)]

It's such a great feeling knowing we are well on the way to complete freedom.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is it's never too late to be honest about things and start afresh. You don't have to be alone in your worries, if you try to sort things out by yourself you will drown. There are others out there who can help and who are willing to help, there is nothing wrong with asking.

I know any IVA, DMP or BR is tough but stick with it as it'll be worth it in the long run.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE [:)]

[Adam Davies]

Hi
What a great post
Sometimes major problems can bring people closer together and sharing your concerns or worries with your partner can really lift the burden from your shoulders.
There really is no point trying to fight unmanageable debt, the sooner you accept that you have a problem the sooner that you can put a solution in place and the sooner you can get your lives back on track
Regards

[Simbel]

Brilliant post Barb and so true, we've only been in our IVA since December but I can relate to everything you say. Our IVA has brought my husband and me so much closer and stronger, and we have had a good night's sleep every night since 30th December 2009. x [:)]

[debtfree-wannabee]

What a wonderful post Barb.

That brought a little tear to my eye.

I am lucky that Garry knows everything we owe and is on side with finding a solution. The pressure is on my shoulders much more as it is my business that I started and he left work to help me in that is struggling and I have cried myself to sleep on a night too - luckily usually in Garrys arms.
It is very important at times like these in our lives that we turn towards our partner if we have one instead of away from them as that causes relationship issues as well as the financial issues.

We have tried to keep the balls juggling in the air and if the IVA goes through the relief of having a budget for food in the cupboard and to pay the basic bill will be immense and something I haven't felt for a good few years.

Thank you for sharing - it really did touch my heart.

[MelanieGiles]

I think a lot of people can relate to having similar issues in their own relationships, and I have seen a lot of clients reconcile as a result of dealing with their debts.

Thank you for sharing such a comforting post with us Barb. I can remember when your IVA was accepted and it is incredible that you are half way through already.

[kallis3]

Excellent post barb.

I know hubby and I had problems when he found out just how much debt we were in as I had hidden it from him.

We're now much stronger and have no secrets from each other at all.

[Shining]

Wonderful post Barb, we knew what we were both like and now we don't row about money that's a fact, we accept we're in an IVA and it's certainly changed us both for the better.

All the best with the remainder of your IVA x

[Julie]

Great post Barb and I'm glad you and hubby have become closer now you're facing everything together.

Good luck with thesecond half of the IVA, I'm sure the time will continue to fly by.

xx

[flow13]

What a great post Barb. Being just over a year away from debt freedom we have started to reflect - we talk about where things went wrong and how they will never be like that again. xx

[Declan at DebtFreeDirect]

Excellent post Barb and best of luck for the remaining half of the IVA.

Thanks

[briggadeen]

Fab post!!! Hubby and I have come over all those little things that get in the way and we're enjoy simple things in life - like a trip to the pool with our 3 year old for £5 - instead of me buying him a £50 toy that sits in a toy box.

I'm definitely more frugal now and budget at the start of each month.

[kallis3]

I remember buying my daughter a playhouse for her 5th birthday (she is now 21!), it cost £300 and we had it set up in the garden for her and she hardly ever played in it.

What a waste of money!

[barb]

Thank you for all the lovely comments,
It's comforting knowing that there are forums like this to guide people through the whole process and generally offer support and encouragement.
I for one am thankful for that.

On a really excited note, it is mine and hubbies 5th anniversary this August and both my mam and hubbies parents have clubbed together to pay for us to go back to where we got married, Zante in Greece, 2 whole weeks of sun sea and sand, I can't wait.
We feel soooo blessed to have the parents we do.

now, to try and save some spendin money!!!!

[kallis3]

How wonderful! What fab parents you have.

Beans on toast between now and August I think.

[flow13]

WOW! Hope you have a great time.

We are doing a Sun holiday this year, but hopefully sometime late 2011 we might manage to get away in a hotel, fingers crossed. xx