www.iva.co.uk

Hi,
i've been hanging around the forum for a month or so now and had decided in my head that after reading all the advice i was going to try for an I.V.A, however, after broaching it with my husband we are going through a tough time and as he pays virtually everything apart from a second mortgage and broadband i can find most of the bills to see what is going out but don't know literally everything. Also, he is self-employed and therefore doesn't have payslips and i don't really know what he earns. The way things are at the moment i can't push him for any more info as everything ends in tears or arguments bur i need to do something now! I understand his annoyance and disappointment as he hasn't got anything on credit as the thought of anything stresses him out [this being part of the reason i am massively in debt because i could never bring myself to talk to him about it and carried on borrowing to pay other creditors.] I need to get us through this, it should be a happy time for us with a special anniversary coming up but i feel like i'm living a nightmare.
Have any of you good people any idea what i can do, i'm at my wits end!
Thanks!

Hi karon and welcome to the forum

Self-employed people tend to be very busy during the week, but tend to go into relaxation mode a little at the weekends. Can you try and grab some time with him on Sunday, to try and piece together the information that you need - and a copy of his last couple of tax returns should give an idea of his earnings.

He is bound to initially be shocked, cross and hurt, but in time he will realise that you are doing your best to deal with this problem - and I am sure that the money has not all been spent on you personally, so he has probably benefitted from the debts in some indirect way.

And the reality is (and don't put this as a threat to him, but just be aware), that if you don't do something soon you may have to face bankruptcy proceedings, which are likely to affect him even more - especially with regard to your home.

Good luck, and I hope poster JohnZ is around this evening as she has been through a very similar set of circumstances and can probably give you better guidance and support.