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Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 2:58 pm
by hillsy
I am feeling really sad today. It is three years today I lost my 41 year old sister to a brain tumour. The time has gone by so quickly, but it does not ease the pain. I miss her so much, and can not stop thinking about how awful it was getting the call to go to the Hospice as she was dying, and telling her poor girls, mummy has died. I have bought some lillies (her favourite flowers) to put by her photo. Sorry I do not mean to depress you all but I just needed to share my feelings today, be glad when the day is over.

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 3:04 pm
by Viki.W
Oh Hillsy, I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of you, I know it's hard but you should spend the day thinking of all the good times too, everything she said to make you feel better, everything she said to make you laugh, all the fun you had. What a lovely idea to put her favourite flowers by the picture. I'm sending you a big hug hun. X

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 3:12 pm
by hillsy
Thank you viki for your kind thoughts x

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 3:18 pm
by emma_t
Hi hillsy
Sorry to hear you are having a tough time today, what a lovely thought with the lillies.
As Viki says try to reflect on the good and happy times you were lucky enough to have with her,
Take care of yourself
Emma xx

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 3:18 pm
by Hawks1980
Thinking of you Hillsy. Lots of hugs ((([:)]))) xxx

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 3:28 pm
by chris.g
Oh Hillsy, time does go past so fast and the pain stays the sharp as ever. It is coming up to 4 years since I lost my precious mam, seems like yesterday that we were joking and laughing.
Try to think of the good times, I'm sure she's looking down on you today and wouldn't want you to be sad. Her life was precious, don't mourn for your loss, celebrate the life you had together as sisters and she has left part of her in her daughters.

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 3:36 pm
by debtmountain
Hi hillsy,

So sorry to hear that you are feeling so Sad today.

I understand just how you are feeling though, having lost my Dad to Cancer just over a year ago and my Mum 15 months before. There isn't a Day that goes by that I don't think about them and Anniversary's are the worst times.

But,like Viki said, try to think of all the really Good times that you had, your Sister would not want you to be Sad. Lovely idea to buy the Lilies, I do exactly the same but with Chrysanthemums (Mums Fave).

Sending you a Big Hug

xx

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 3:37 pm
by Skippy
I'm sorry to hear that Hillsy. As the others have said think of the good times you had with your sister, and remember that she is still with you, looking after you.

On my dad's anniversary in April I bought a helium balloon with Dad on it and let it go by the river - to me it represented him being free of the pain he was in. As he was cremated I don't have a grave to go to, and I found that really helped x

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 3:40 pm
by hillsy
thank you all so much for your kind thoughts x

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 3:44 pm
by aguise
So sad Hillsy. Hubby lost his sister at a similar time and age. Broke his heart, no time for goodbyes she didnt even know, took ill very suddenly and died within a few days. It is good to remember, lilys are lovely.

Big hug

Ang x

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 5:51 pm
by Wizzard
Hi Hillsy

Those we love are always with us.
Their laughter and their wisdom,
their advice and thoughtfulness
are gifts of love that are ours to keep.
May the gifts of your sister
help console you now
and fill your heart with memories
that will always comfort you.



I lost my sister 5 years ago to cancer too ... the above wss sent to me and it helped a little.

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 6:01 pm
by chardonnay
Hi Hillsy,
Like the others I know what you're feeling, but as said before try to also remember the good times and the special memories you shared. Time is a great healer and the pain will ease - give yourself time and space to grieve - the process in medical terms is known as DABGA, Denial, anger, bargaining, greiving and finally acceptance. You will get there at your own pace.
I speak from experience, I've lost my Dad, twin, mother, three aunts and two uncles, best friend and fiancee. I can say the sorrow never goes, but you will learn to live with it and not feel so sad at their passing.
Talk and think of them often - a lot of people fear they will forget loved ones, beleive me won't!!
Cherish your memories and be assured they are all still with you and caring about you. If you find a white feather ywhere around you, then you will know you've been visited by an angel (My hypnotherapist told me that and I now keep finding them which makes me feel fab!!).
My thoughts and hugs are with you,
Chardonnay

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 6:30 pm
by Skippy
My uncle died of cancer last year, and one of his favourite stories was about when he tried to start a business as a chimney sweep. The day he died I saw a chimney sweep's van, and I often see it now, although I'd never seen it before. I think it was a sign, and although it might sound strange I find it comforting. I also find it a comfort when I see a robin, as that was his favourite bird.

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 6:55 pm
by angela18
oh i'm so sorry for my whingeing on about being 40.. somethings really put life into perspective (is that the right word).. hope you feel better in yourself soon.. big hugs xx

Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 7:31 pm
by freelili
I had a loss last year too, I didnt know how to get through it, it hurt so much every single day. I still cant believe she has gone, her number is still in my phone, I just cant delete it.

It has been a little easier as the time has gone by but sometimes I just drive to her house and sit outside, or hold something that she used to wear, I tell her everything and I know she is still here.