www.iva.co.uk

I met a friend for coffee today that I hadn't seen for a couple of months. Earlier in the year, I helped her sort out her finances a bit by giving her contact details for this forum, advice on the difference between IVA and DMP, and just generally giving her the courage to face her financial crisis as she's in debt that she can't service to the tune of £38K. She eventually entered into a formal DMP through Brightoak 2 months ago to try and help straighten out her crippling debt.

So I met her in Starbucks in Borders bookstore. I'm happy because I have just spent a £20 book voucher I was given as a gift by my dad and it's been a mega treat to actually browse through the books and buy a couple, so I'm in a good mood when I see her. Then I see all her bags of shopping from the sales and she tells me that she's spent £430..... I ask her how she's managed to go shopping when she's in a DMP (as I'd love to know how to have that kind of money free!)....

She's only taken a mortgage payment holiday for a month to get some spare cash so she can "treat herself in the sales after her 2 week holiday abroad because it's only money and the mortgage holiday payment gave her some spare cash"!!!! [:0][:0]

There is no helping some people. I had to really bite my tounge because it is entirely up to her how she chooses to manage her finances, but I was appalled.

I was really pleased though, because I also knew that having been through the IVA process I now have a really healthy respect for money. Right down to knowing exactly where my last penny is coming from/going. It's a nice feeling to finally be really in complete control. And yes, today, for the first time, I admit it, I got to feel morally superior about my fiscal management for the first time in Oh, so long!

RC

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You tried your best RC
Emma x

Who do you think will come out of the process better off do you think? You - with your newly found thriftiness and positive manner of dealing with problems, or your friend who may still worry about looking over her shoulder repaying debts which she may never see the end of?

Think I could hazard a guess somehow!

Don't some people ever learn? Even if I have the money I resent spending it now and only buy what we need. As Melanie said your friend will be forever looking over her shoulder and maybe never seeing the end of her debts.

Jan

The irony is, is that she thinks she's better at financial management than me because she's not in an IVA and owns her house with a 125% mortgage from Northern Rock!!

Bonkers really!

RC

Not for much longer if she carries on. Hope she finds her way #13;#10;

Robbie, you tried. You can walk the streets with your head held high as you conscience is still in tact, you WILL be debt free at the end of your IVA. You'd have thought she'd taken your advice, some people just can't be helped. Kazzy x

Gosh some people! You did what you could, RC, but I'm afraid some people only ever learn the very hard way though.

I think she is heading for a big fall![:0][:0]

Do you know that would have been me at one point, but like you I now know the price for everything we buy and really value having £1 left over at the end of the weekly shop! You are superior because we all have the experience of this site and each other x

That stuff wont bring her any happiness at all, I bet she is already regretting it, maybe she is very unhappy and needs to spend to compensate.

What a pity RC. You were good to help her, you did your best. X

Oh dear not good, I do hope she learns the error of her ways, we're all learning each and every day whilst in an IVA and I won't say I'm totally reformed yet but I another 53 months of IVA life should see to that. I can relate to it though I'm afraid pre-IVA.

Well done you - I think I wouldn't have been able to bite my tongue!! You must feel so proud of yourself when you see how responsible you have become. Your friend is lucky to have someone like you to help and advise her. It's sad she can't see the problems she is continuing to build for herself.
You did your best and I'm sure she will be back for more advice soon.
Enjoy the new books,
Hugs,
Chardonnay

Wonder if she ever looked on this forum after she was given all the info?

I imagine she will be back in deep doo doo very shortly.

Reminds me of my step daughter. She is DMP but continues to spend money like it is going out of fashion. How she does it I don't know. I suspect she takes unofficial 'payment holidays'! Moans that she can't afford to buy nappies for her daughter - then spends £20 on a garden swing for her! And she smokes!!!!!!